No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.

The Good Omens Nativity

plaidadder

So, Good Omens the novel basically leaves out Jesus entirely. The TV adaptation includes a scene where Aziraphale and Crowley witness the crucifixion and briefly discuss how it got to this point. The temptation in the desert is referenced, but that’s all.

I understand and 100% concur with Gaiman’s decision not to really Go There. It would throw up barriers for viewers who aren’t Christian (or aren’t *still* Christian) while inevitably offending a significant number of viewers who are.

Nevertheless, my brain keeps asking me the question: what if Aziraphale was involved in the Nativity, the way Crowley got dragged into the Antichrist’s birth, because he was Heaven’s agent in the field? And what if, like the birth of the Adversary, it was…kind of a shitshow?

GABRIEL: Hey, Aziraphale, you know how these human things work. I’m supposed to go tell this woman she’s going to have a baby with the Holy Spirit. The Almighty suggested I ask you about how to break it to her. Got any pointers?

AZIRAPHALE: Uh…try to be kind?

GABRIEL: (checking his phone) Kind, got it.

AZIRAPHALE: And…and…I mean to say, that is, perhaps *explain* to her what the plan is, before you ask her to–

GABRIEL: ASK her?

AZIRAPHALE: Well…this is going to change…well, I mean everything, and it’s… it’s customary…to ask.

GABRIEL: OK. Be kind, explain, ask. Got it.

AZIRAPHALE: And be gentle! Reveal yourself…you know…gradually! They’re very easily frightened!

GABRIEL: (is already gone)

*****

MARY: (is minding her own business)

GABRIEL: (crashes through ceiling with full wingspan, halo, divine radiance) HAIL MARY FAVORED AMONG WOMEN!

MARY: AAAAAAAAAAAAGH

********

GABRIEL: Hey Aziraphale, can you let the humans know their Savior is being born tonight?

AZIRAPHALE: Is he really? How lovely! I’ll get started straightaway.

AZIRAPHALE: (disguises himself as a shepherd, goes out into the fields by night, low key starts talking to other shepherds about this family that just arrived in Bethlehem but they couldn’t find a hotel room and now they’re in a stable and the wife is having a rather special baby and wouldn’t it be lovely to go see them and maybe bring them something to eat)

GABRIEL: (watching from on high) Hurry up, you nitwit, she’s already fully dilated, they’re gonna miss it

AZIRAPHALE: What’s so special about THIS baby? Well, you see, that’s quite an intriguing question. How well up are you in your Isaiah?

GABRIEL: Fuck it. We’re going in.

SUDDEN MULTITUDE OF THE HEAVENLY HOST: GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST AND PEACE ON EARTH AMONG–

SHEPHERDS: AAAAAAAGH!!!

AZIRAPHALE: Oh for Heaven’s sake–

SHEPHERDS: RUN! RUUUUUNNNN!!!!

GABRIEL: (flying after them) BE NOT AFRAID!!!

LOCAL SNAKE: Well, that went down like a–

AZIRAPHALE: Oh hush.

plaidadder

Further headcanons :

* Gabriel is so embarrassed by the whole thing he asks Aziraphale to memory-wipe everyone who witnessed this debacle

* Crowley was there, though, and nothing’s wrong with HIS memory

* Decades later, Luke is running around collecting stories about Jesus. Crowley lures Aziraphale to a bar, gets him drunk, then introduces him to Luke.

* Aziraphale spills the whole story while Crowley gazes at him soulfully and Luke scribbles away

* Over the next millennium or so, Crowley dedicates significant time to ensuring that Luke’s version of the Nativity is the only one ever represented in popular culture

* Gabriel blames Aziraphale

liliemsharpe

🤣🤣🤣

shibara

Fanart bit of another of @drawlight‘s fics: I Will Get Up Now And Go About The City >>>> https:// archiveofourown.org /works/19422403

It’s made of little scenes through history that form a larger story.

In one of them Crowley lends Aziraphale his jacket.

It made my heart wobble.

——-

Notes:

- Not sure what Crowley’s jacket was originally made of, but it became leather because it’s nicer to paint, so this is an official Artistic License Moment.

- Mr Sheen’s got the best nose for rendering. I don’t make the rules, this is just objective facts.

rafaelafranzen

I watched the last bits of colour and light being dappled on this a few hours ago in-stream and it was like being wrapped up in quiet warmth, a soft sigh of affection. Words inspiring art is the best thing and this is oh so beautiful.