[enby-distortion]

[pinkpiggy93]

Head canon: Aziraphale drops by Crowley's place after Armageddon and had a sleep-over there. The next morning Crowley sees the angel get dressed and is very much blessed by THIS view.

[normal-horoscopes]

Anonymous asked:

Dear Caretaker—for the sake of my sanity I have to leave my family and my hometown behind, but the thought of being alone and penniless in the world fills me with dread. In exchange for your advice, I offer an old notebook, a childhood summer and the kindness of a stranger.

CHANGE REQUIRES ENERGY FUEL IF YOU WOULD 

[normal-horoscopes]

theambersalesman asked:

bones im a nervous soul and i want to make sure that you know what i said over in the veil was a joke! you dont have to answer this ask, it's just important to me that you see it. i love you and the inkeeper very much and i don't want to drive you away. please take some of my ribs, the moths in my stomach, and moss from the pines as an offering.

YOURE FINE FUCKO

[normal-horoscopes]

Anonymous asked:

I offer you the best parts of me taken by my first true love and the light of joy behind tired eyes. I am at a crossroads between comfort and excitement, what shall I do?

LOW FLAME GOOD WOOD

[normal-horoscopes]

Anonymous asked:

Dear Caretaker, I'm so tired. I have so much love to give and yearn for acceptance, but I'm not sure whether both I and the depth of my love are fully appreciated. I don't know how much longer I can go on giving without feeling anything in return. But I can't stop loving. I offer the same I offer to all: a homecooked meal, a place to rest, two arms and a chest to hide in.

A STORM CANNOT HELP BUT DO ALL THINGS UNSTOPPABLY

[normal-horoscopes]

Anonymous asked:

hey I've got some expired makeup & a shitty guitar pick i got for 50 cents from the rock n roll hall of fame, what kind of horoscope can i get for that

NEW SHAVING RAZORS AND SOMETHING YOU DONT REALIZE YOU SAW

[normal-horoscopes]

sock-ness-monster asked:

My mom made me back to school shop so I got the largest moss ball I could find!!!! Now all the time is moss time for me and my betta Fin Mani Miranda! I named it Harvey Mossballbanger!!

EVERYONE NEEDS SOME ACADEMIC MOSS

[normal-horoscopes]

Anonymous asked:

Caretaker, I am faced with a wall that has no facets with which to climb it. It knows no compromise. When I ask it to help me it spits a brick at me and lives the same. What can I do? I offer caricatures, a funhouse mirror, and the palpitations of a bruised heart

INTERESTING THINGS WALLS THEY ARE OFTEN LESS STURDY THAN ONE MAY THINK 

[normal-horoscopes]

Anonymous asked:

Please caretaker tell me my future I met a very cute guy who likes me back, im a pisces disaster boy and he's a Taurus blonde cute angel and i Wait you know what i was going to ask you what our future was but i know and i will fight for it. We like eating our mouths so yeah

FOX CANNON

[ladyyatexel]

And sometimes, you’re minding your own business, and Two-Mix comes up out of nowhere and kicks your ass into 20 years ago