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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
neil-gaiman

porter-gembling-blog asked:

You mentioned you like Stephen Fry! Be wary, he is a Yid and he is only friends with you to extract wealth, which is the primary objective of a Jew. He may seem nice to you but in reality all he wants is more sympathisers and your money. You can't trust a Jew as far as you throw it. No need to thank me, education on them should be mandatory not volentery. Dirty, evil creatures. Keep up the good work with the books.

Look, this is a bit embarrassing, but I’m afraid that I’m a fully-paid-up honest-to-goodness barmitzvahed-and-circumcised Jew myself. And while I would, of course, like sympathisers and money, I most certainly do not want yours.

Also, it’s spelled ‘voluntary’.

undeadhousewife bloblobber-propaganda

fyi

petratodd

Gender reveal parties, and big planned reveals, literally were not a thing ten, fifteen years ago. Don’t let anyone pull that “it’s a tradition!” crap on you, youngsters. They’re LYING. People would either get the ultrasound or not to find out about the genitals, and tell people or not. That was that.

The fuss over “revealing” a baby’s gender in utero stinks of pushback against the shift toward a more nuanced understanding of gender. I mean yeah part of it is social media, and trends catching on, but don’t think for a minute this isn’t part of some regressive attitudes creeping into the mainstream with a cute (blue or pink) bow on it.

madlori

image
image

Even the woman who helped popularize gender reveal parties is like…slow your roll, fam.

undeadhousewife

It literally didn’t exist when I was pregnant, and to give you an idea my youngest is 10. A lot of people had really great fun with creative announcements to both spouse and family, but even back on the hay day of Baby Center boards, this really didn’t exist beyond the few who would have the tech write it down to be announced at the baby shower, but the most that was, was like a blue or pink cake. And the majority of us thought that was silly af. In the grand scheme of a pregnancy, gender reveals were like… Up there with naming your kids Nevaeh or Mckenzie.

rafaelafranzen

Anonymous asked:

Does Aziraphale ever wonder how Crowley knows when to turn up to get him out of trouble? Does he ever ask himself if Crowley is ... watching him somehow, in the mirror of the world?

answered:

[A headcanon, meandering thoughts.]

Let’s consider.

Aziraphale wonders, yes, but never out loud. Not even in the topsoil of his thoughts. No, it’s far further down. Think of the water table, think of how the question sits there deep in the earth of himself. Aziraphale wonders on late nights when he’s alone in the bookshop and the damn candle’s burnt down and he hasn’t yet bothered with the lights. At night, when the only little light comes from the cars outside (it is a city, there is light pollution and often cloudcover, there is no starlight here, not now). That’s when he lets his mind drift a little, winedrunk and indulgent and pausing a little over this you’re always there. How do you always know, are you watching me? (I hope you are, I shouldn’t. I do.) 

But he never lets himself go, not entirely. Aziraphale always catches himself and sobers right up, just as he should. Sobriety and order, Heavensent. It’s the done thing, you see, the correct thing (he doesn’t quite want to). Stiff upper lip. Don’t think about what it means to be watched. Don’t ever ever ever think about what that might mean. (Does it mean anything? Does it mean mirrored thoughts? Does it mean other questions tumbling out, the ones he keeps in? The ones locked in a chest, a bottle, written in a letter and burnt?) They’re hereditary enemies, after all, it’s entirely natural to keep tabs on one another. (Is it natural for enemies to pop into the Bastille, to miracle manacles away and take them for crepes after?) 

So Aziraphale doesn’t look, not closely. It sits there. Like a rip current or an undertow, it could knock him about. Pull him under. So no, don’t dip your feet in too far. Stay on the shore. 

Then, there are the moments of doubt. Yes, move over, make space for doubt. The moments of will you come? Oh, did I get this wrong? Did I read everything wrong? Not that I want you to come. (I do, please come.) He had watched the guillotine out there, through the window, the sound of the head in the basket. There is time enough for questions when you see the razor and finger your own unlucky neck. You can ask all the questions in the world in that single nerveswallow instant. But then, always, the next second comes, the next heartbeat. There is always another minute, there is always another breath. And in the second breath, there’s the ancient call. 

“Animals,” Aziraphale had muttered. (Where are you?)

“Animals don’t kill each other with clever machines, angel. Only humans do that.” (I’m here.) You see, he’s always there. In black and red. A steady-breathed miracle. 

That was then. Jump forward. It doesn’t have to stay that way. Because then, eventually, there is the End of the World (and What Comes After). And then, finally, he doesn’t have to ask. Because then Aziraphale knows.

apathetic-revenant

“How can this be?” said Lord Downey. “Don’t we pay our taxes?”

“Ah, I thought we might come to that,” said Lord Vetinari. He raised his hand and, on cue again, his clerk placed a piece of paper in it.

“Let me see now…ah yes. Guild of Assassins…Gross earnings in the last year: AM $13,207,048. Taxes paid in the last year: forty-seven dollars, twenty-two pence and what on examination turned out to be a Hershebian half-dong, worth one-eighth of a penny.”

“That’s all perfectly legal! The Guild of Accountants–”

“Ah yes. Guild of Accountants: gross earnings AM $7,999,011. Taxes paid: nil. But, ah yes, I see they applied for a rebate of AM $200,000.”

“And what we received, I may say, included a Hershebian half-dong,” said Mr. Frostrip of the Guild of Accountants.

“What goes around comes around,” said Vetinari calmly.

He tossed the paper aside. “Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum of moo. And I am afraid to say that these days all I get is moo.”

“Are you telling us that Ankh-Morpork is bankrupt?” said Downey.

“Of course. While, at the same time, full of rich people. I trust they have been spending their good fortune on swords.”

“And you have allowed this wholesale tax avoidance?” said Lord Selachii.

“Oh, the taxes haven’t been avoided,” said Lord Vetinari. “Or even evaded. They just haven’t been paid.”

“This is a disgusting state of affairs!”

The Patrician raised his eyebrows. “Commander Vimes?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Would you be so good as to assemble a squad of your most experienced men, liase with the tax gatherers and obtain the accumulated back taxes, please? My clerk here will give you a list of the prime defaulters.”

“Right, sir. And if they resist, sir?” said Vimes, smiling nastily.

“Oh, how can they resist, commander? This is the will of our civic leaders.” He took the paper his clerk prooffered. “Let me see, now. Top of the list–”

Lord Selachii coughed hurriedly. “Far too late for that sort of nonsense now,” he said.

“Water under the bridge,” said Lord Downey.

“Dead and buried,” said Mr. Slant.

“I paid mine,” said Vimes.

–Terry Pratchett, Jingo

discworld I've been thinking about this book quite a bit lately
roachleakage heatherwitch
vijara

sometimes the issue isn’t that people are toxic + need to be cut out of your life. sometimes you’re just giving too much of your time/energy/resources to the wrong people + need to learn how to set healthier boundaries for yourself.

if you’re someone w/ a big heart who takes care of others by willingly giving them your time + support whenever they come to you, it’s really easy to feel drained if they’re not reciprocating that support. when you’re constantly giving but the people you’re giving to aren’t giving back a similar or equal amount, you end up feeling exhausted, upset, and uncared for. (this also can lead into codependency imo b/c you start to think you can “earn” someone’s reciprocation by giving more and more, but it doesn’t work that way + you’ll only end up feeling more drained and desperate.)

some people have things going on in their lives that don’t have anything to do with you. some people genuinely do have good intentions but for whatever personal or circumstantial reasons, they can’t or won’t match the energy you’re giving them right now – doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person or someone you need to cut out of yr life altogether – but you do need to learn how to set boundaries + give less to those people in order to keep yourself happy + healthy. it’s easy to tell who’s willing to meet you halfway + who isn’t if you pay attention to how you feel after being around them. 

Source: vijara
moki-dokie hasturlavista
soul-mind-and-chaos

In the religious canon, if I'm correct, Beelzebub joined the revolt against Heaven, Fell, and then caused an Uprising against Lucifer Himself that got so out of hand and nearly overthrew him, that Lucifer decided to make them Prince of Hell just so they wouldn't try to overthrow him anymore as they could succeed.

I like to imagine this applies to the Good Omens Beelzebub as well.