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cosmictuesdays heartsnbruises

How to Argue Like an Asshole

cornichaun

Good evening, friends, let me tell you some Secrets on how to argue like (and with) assholes. I’m writing this because I keep running into a particular asshole, and I need to stop engaging with them, and so this is an instruction sheet for myself as well as you guys. 

First, try to avoid assholes; they don’t deserve your time and energy. But, if an Argument is unavoidable, here are a few tips on how to emerge unscathed. 

Let go of the idea that you’re going to win. 

You’re not gonna win. Nobody wins in an argument with an asshole. But, on the other hand, you can make them lose. You can deprive them of their entertainment and their triumph. 

How??? 

Do not present your side of this debate. 

This is so counter-intuitive for most of us who believe in things like, oh, science, or real facts, or the idea that real facts can be determined by science. Here’s a cool terrible thing about humans: certainty has nothing to do with facts. And when people are certain, that is when they become assholes. 

When someone’s only goal is to win an argument, any real evidence or facts you give them is just ammunition for them to turn against you. 

You will not convince them. So what should you be doing? 

Destroy their arguments.

This is a thing of joy, because it’s what assholes are used to doing. They are, at heart, morons who don’t know how to construct, only how to destroy. 

I used to be super emotional about arguments like this. I couldn’t think of anything to say while the other person ranted on about their horrifying bigotry. Now I’m a lawyer, and I’ve learned to weaponize my essentially nitpicky nature. For money. 

So here are some easy tactics you can remember and deploy: 

- Make them define the words they use. Nitpick the definitions. 

- Turn questions back on them. If they ask you “why do you believe x”, ask them why they believe y. If they pull some “I asked first” shit, ask them why they’re afraid to defend their beliefs. 

- Call them emotional.  If possible, pick out specific emotions. This is especially devastating when you’re debating a man, as he will get more emotional as a result. 

- “Why is that funny? I don’t get it.” Making people explain mean jokes can be a delight; they just wilt the more you question them about the underlying assumptions. 

- Laugh at any especially dumb shit. Like they use some slogan or catchphrase that’s obviously untrue, due to science, or essentially ridiculous, like “we’ve made America great again,” and you just blurt out laughing. If they get mad, tell them – oh, so sorry, I’ll shut up, I’m giving you the floor to talk about your beliefs. I’m respecting you. This is a goddamn power move. It gives you the high ground, and also the implied control over the situation. The floor belongs to you, but you are yielding it to someone because you can. 

- If they make an awkward exit, let them. Especially if they call the discussion “political.” It means they’re feeling attacked. Graciously allow them to retreat with their tail between their legs. If they storm off, allow them to do that too. Congratulations; you’ve ended the argument and you don’t have to deal with it anymore. 

Basically: hand the asshole a shovel, and let ‘em dig. Relieve yourself of the burden to convince them they are wrong, and just sour their fun instead. 

–

Additionally, these are the tactics that assholes use, consciously or subconsciously, all the time. Recognize them. Once you know what they are, you can become immune to the intimidation and belittling tactics. 

Good luck. 

cosmictuesdays

One asshole encounter I had involved him complaining about how nobody was talking about some event or incident. Rather than discuss the incident itself, I pointed out that if he’d heard about it, someone must have been talking about it for the news to get to him. If it was just that nobody in other areas and social networks wasn’t discussing it - well, it still got to him, right?

He didn’t talk to me again after that, which I took as the victory it was.

pocket ref
kaelio kaelio
kaelio

we all had a good and well-deserved laugh from Quark’s comment that “all humans look the same” BUT i think this has remarkable implications for the ships it credibly opened up. could quark even tell the difference between a male and female human when he first started trading with the Federation? was his first Impulse to try to seduce the pants off of sisko when he got in trouble because (roddenberry said this) Ferengi are SEX GODS with huge wangs? and quark was like, ha ha, i’ve been a bad boy darling, but what if I said this bad boy wants 2 meet you? and just whongers his schlong out on the captain’s desk. there’s a real possiblity this set the tone for their future interactions

kaelio

just rt’ing to mention all the hashtags on this post are a+

80sanime

klarioncall asked:

I saw your anime primer for Key the Metal Idol, and thought it was kinda cool, but i wasn't gonna pursue it. Yesterday i found the first 7 episodes at a thrift store for 4 bucks. I would have passed by it completely without the primer. I'm a couple eps in and having a Great Time. Thanks!

Thank you for sharing your story! Would you believe it made my entire day? Hope you continue to enjoy Key~ It’s a little uneven but totally unique.

noirandchocolate

Today for no particular reason Bast stopped on the way home from work and got us cherry brainfreezies at the 7-11. I mean, absolutely no reason to do that on this specific day, July 7. It’s not like cherry brainfreezies are life, the universe, and everything on a hot summer day or anything. Just a normal thing with no significance whatsoever.

Hee hee.

kidk says stuff ((laugh track for the people who know me well))
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