[raechelrae]

Beelzebub: Can we talk about the email that you just sent to the entirety of Hell?

Crowley: It was a critical update

Beelzebub: It just says “I’m back on my bullshit”

Crowley: The people need to know

[blissful-whims]

AU in which Aziraphale is a very human bookseller, unknowingly blessed with great divine power. He keeps (accidentally? purposely?) summoning a demon named Crowley to do inane things for him

(“My dear, may you please open this jar of peanut butter for me?” “Oh, I can’t reach that book up there. If you may?” “Do be a dear and open the door for me. My hands are full.” “I’ve lost my wine opener. Would you open this bottle?”)

In exhange, Aziraphale cooks him meals and plies him with wine. Crowley is confused and then exasperated. He tried to be patient; someday, Aziraphale might just asked something of him that’ll make the bookseller offer up his soul.

Then, Aziraphale asks Crowley to accompany him during his grocery shopping, to walks at St. James Park, to cafes and restaurants, and to a wedding of a friend.

Somewhere along the line, Crowley realizes with horror that he’s been domesticated and has probably been dating this human for a long while.

[amphata]

Well if i ever felt like my ace ass could finally write in perfect line with canon: good omens giving me the actually credible ace pair i always craved

I mean, i read lots of sexual things between them and i love and respect all of it, but the thought of their souls being head over heels for each other with exactly zero sexual thoughts is giving me life oxygen my skin is clear my crops are flourishing my ace heart is cheering

[thealogie]

ok so I stand by the fact that they don’t miracle each other’s clothes away, they want to strip each other in the clumsy human way because it’s tender BUT ALSO there are extreme hints that crowley doesn’t wear shoes he just makes his feet look like that (e.g. he walks in the church ground like he can feel it)…what I’m saying is aziraphale kneeling at Crowley’s feet (while crowley is just Still Computing What’s Happening sprawled on the bed) going “oh, my dear…I’m embarrassed to say but I do seem to be having rather a lot of trouble with your shoes…” and crowley without missing a beat “those are my hooves, you bitch”

[holmezyan]

Crowley totally picked Alpha Centauri cause its initials are A and C. Change my mind!

[jaskier-n-crowley-diaster-ace]

Yo so this might sound stupid but I legit overcame my bulimia and anorexia when I was 13 because I read Good Omens and let me tell you I worshipped that book, and Aziraphale being a chubby lil sweetheart that I fell in love with and my 11 year old ass not knowing about ships but shipping aziraphale and Crowley anyways and headcanoning that Crowley loved how soft Aziraphale was for years it slowly slipped in my mind over the next 2 years that being soft was okay and also beautiful, I was never overweight but I constantly hurt myself in ways to try to be skinny and it led to depression so I guess I just wanted to say how Mr I’m Soft Aziraphale actually saved my life because I stopped being hospitalized due to starving myself and everyone should love soft Aziraphale thanks for coming to my TED talk

[i-used-to-wear-the-fedora]

Okay but with Nanny Crowley,

Warlock sees his nanny kissing the gardener and when he tells everyone about the affair no one believes him because?? Have you seen the nanny?? She’s way out of the naked mole rat man’s league

And Aziraphale is just so offended by this while Crowley is laughing his ass off.

[bigdickwizard]

my dear boy

[archerism]

“aziraphale’s slang is always 100 years behind” ok valid but hot take. he stopped updating himself on slang in 1941 after “played for suckers” backfired on him so now all of his slang is from the 1920s/30s. thanks

[cocodamollified]

Gaiman writing the screenplay: *intensifies the gay by getting crowley to bodyslam aziraphale* (otherwise known as creating the most gifable scene in the series)