cardinaldaughterWhat I love about the breakup bandstand scene is that, upon rewatching it, it doesn’t feel like Aziraphale is actually saying any his refusals to Crowley at all. Sure, it’s in response to Crowley’s remarks and directed toward him, but I think deep down Aziraphale is actually only trying to convince himself that they aren’t friends, that it’s impossible for them to go off together, that he doesn’t like Crowley. That they can’t do this anymore.
If they aren’t friends then it makes it easier to do what he feels is right: convince Heaven to stop the war.
It’s clear he wants to go with Crowley. That soft, hopeful way he just breathes, “Go off together?” Like it’s everything he’s ever wanted, but no he can’t. “Listen to yourself,” he says to Crowley, but it’s a plea to himself, that he take his own words to heart. “Listen to yourself, Aziraphale. We aren’t friends. I don’t like him. We don’t have our own side. It’s over.”
He is desperately trying to convince himself that it’s true. It has to be true. But Aziraphale is lying to himself. And when he can’t even watch Crowley walk away from him, he knows everything he said was a lie.
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