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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
trusthimhesadoctor imogen-theimaginedcat
crowleybutch

The thing we need to remember is that Crowley is a loser. He’s a dork. He’s a hopeless romantic. Crowley is not so much a demon as a general inconvenience. He gave those people real guns but made them all have miraculous escapes because he was too puppy-eyed and lovesick to disappoint Aziraphale. He had their breakup in public going full-out with the petnames because he’s dramatic and sappy. Crowley has no other friends behind Aziraphale. He has nothing better to do than save his ass from whatever the lastest dumb trouble the angel gets himself into. The most demonic thing he can do is glue pennies to the sidewalk or crash the phone networks. He wants to look cool but he’s such an overwhelmingly pathetic and dumbass sweetheart

ineffable-bisexual

space-mortician asked:

I've posted a little thing about this before, but in his free time, Aziraphale likes to dig up his old clothes to go to historical reenactments and balls just to take a step back in time for a while and reminisce. But because his pieces are preserved so well, he knows all the songs and dances (and even reintroduced some), and goes as far as to speak in old dialects, he becomes infamous for historical fashion. (1/2)

(2/2) It becomes a high honor to host Mr. A. Z. Fell and, if they were very lucky, a privilege to hear him lecture on the aesthetics of different societies. Everyone he meets is absolutely amazed that he wears his great-great-great grandfather’s clothing with such ease, as if they weren’t a hundred years old, and appeared to fit him perfectly. It gets a bit much when museums by the bunch start sending him letters and representatives asking him to lend his clothing for display, so he lays low now

—-

OHhhhhhhhhh I love this one so much!! I don’t know much about fashion trends, but I can see Aziraphale sort of scoffing at these parties about “today’s fashion” and how they will never hold a candle to the 18th century.

Can you imagine him ever dragging Crowley there, as well?? What if Aziraphale conjured up (or even saved!) some wardrobe that Crowley used to wear, say, from Edwardian England. After much cajoling, Crowley (as always) indulges his angel, and says that he’s only going to stay for 20 minutes and then make some excuse about going home to feed the cat or whatever else, but…

…he actually starts to enjoy himself! He sees how happy Aziraphale is and he’s in his element for sure, especially since he wants to show off how absolutely handsome Crowley looks in his attire.

“Oh, let me introduce you to my husband Anthony. Doesn’t he look perfect in this waistcoat? It was tailored just for hi–uh, his great-uncle, and we didn’t even need to alter it in any way!”

Crowley begins to blame the vintage year wine that’s flowing at the party for the flush in his cheeks.

askbox head canon ineffable husbands space-mortician
trusthimhesadoctor ineffable-bisexual

funeraldisco asked:

Sometimes Aziraphale feels a bit self conscious (esp after what Gabriel said to him) and it makes Crowley kinda mad bc he loves his soft husband so much!!! He’s absolutely baffled and in awe of how beautiful Az is and he lets him know all the time!!! Heaven is a mean place and Crowley makes damn sure that Az /knows/ he’s loved so deeply!!!

ineffable-bisexual answered:

Aziraphale is standing in front of the his full length mirror, dressed down to his trousers and undershirt. 

He’s poking and squeezing at his stomach, his thighs, his upper arms until he sighs in both frustration and shame.

‘I’ve let this body ‘go’ a bit, I suppose,’ he thinks to himself. 

He muses further. ‘Perhaps I’ll limit my intake of cocoa, or try the sugar-free? But that stuff tastes wretched. I can’t help it if I have a sweet tooth. Cut down on rich foods? I could never give up sushi! Oh, why did I let this happen? I was a Principality! I was meant to be a warrior and here I am: just a flabby shape in old clothes. This isn’t an angel in the mirror; this is a travesty! How did I ever–?’

Long arms snake around his soft waist and squeeze him as warm lips kiss the back of his neck.

“You’re not dressed yet?” Crowley asks. “We’ve got a reservation at the Ritz, angel. Get a wiggle on, as you like to say.” 

He looks in the mirror over Aziraphale’s shoulder and smiles.

Crowley kisses his cheek. “My beautiful angel.”

He walks out of the bedroom and Aziraphale looks in the mirror again with a new light in his eyes. 

“I’ll be ready in ten minutes, dear.”

iwilltrytobereasonable npdclaraoswald
bi-rothedragon

I can’t over the fact that Adam has no idea who Crowley and Aziraphale are. These two complete strangers just show up, try to kill him, and then start telling him how proud they are of him and hold his hands

iwilltrytobereasonable

Except remember how Adam also knew the Horsepersons before he met them. He has a way to know everything at a glance for that whole afternoon.

irisbleufic

Anonymous asked:

On anon b/c I feel dumb: Why is your and procrastinatingbookworm's (excellent, btw!) Hastur fic called You Bloody Snake? Is it a book reference?

No need to feel like that, anon; questions are productive!  Yes, You Bloody Snake is called what it’s called because of this moment in the novel:

Crowley had traveled through over twenty miles of cable in less than a second.

Hastur was close behind him.  Crowley was going to have to time this whole thing very, very carefully.

RING.

That was the third ring.  Well, thought Crowley, here goes nothing.

He stopped, suddenly, and watched Hastur shoot past him.  Hastur turned and—

RING.

Crowley shot out through the phone line, zapped through the plastic sheathing, and materialized, full-size and out of breath, in his lounge.

Click.

The outgoing message tape began to turn on his ansaphone.  Then therewas a beep, and, as the incoming message tape turned, a voice from the speaker screamed, after the beep, “Right!  What?…  You bloody snake!”

good omens fanfiction hastur crowley litgeek
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