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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
drpathetique humansofnewyork
humansofnewyork: “(1/3) “It was obvious from the very beginning. Abnormal wrist and ankle movements. No eye contact. Poor eating patterns. She didn’t sleep until she was 2.5 years old. And she never liked to be rocked or snuggled. There’s a groove...
humansofnewyork

(1/3)  “It was obvious from the very beginning.  Abnormal wrist and ankle movements.  No eye contact.  Poor eating patterns.  She didn’t sleep until she was 2.5 years old.  And she never liked to be rocked or snuggled.  There’s a groove you get into with a child– and we just never got there.  The bonding didn’t happen: not for her, and not for me.  Those first couple years were so dark.  Every day I thought it was going to get better.  I’d tell myself: ‘I’ll get it right today.’  But I never did.  Our pediatrician didn’t have any experience with this stuff.  I never even heard the word ‘autism’ until she was two years old.  And I’ll tell you what: it was a relief to finally hear that word.  To finally learn there was something wrong… but let’s not say ‘wrong’,  something different about her.  It wasn’t just that she didn’t like baby food.  Or that she didn’t want her mom.  It was something else.  It was something different.  When I walked out of the doctor’s office that day, it was the first time I felt like I wanted to defend her.  It was the first time I felt like we were on the same team.”
(Special Olympics World Games, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

drpathetique folatefangirl
shutupmerlin

A series of events:

1. I put in an Annual Leave request form almost 3 weeks ago and my boss has not approved it yet

2. I went into my office today and replaced every single writing utensil with crayons in preparation for April Fools Day on Monday

3. Whilst searching for pens to remove, I found my unsigned Annual Leave form in my boss’s drawer

4. I placed my unsigned Annual Leave form in a photo frame and put it on his desk

5. The frame I used was from a photo of his kids that I deemed less important than my Leave form

6. My boss sometimes goes into the office on Saturdays to work

7.

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the only april fool's I wilk acknowledge this year
drpathetique drferox
dairyisntscary

tbh my job as a bovine midwife of sorts has made human obstetrics sound absolutely wild

you hear of babies born at 24 weeks and surviving. thats 3 months early. a one month early calf barely has a chance, a six month fetus barely even resembles a calf

you also hear ladies take about like “oh I spent 72 hours in labor” like cow labor only lasts?? 4-6 hours??? are humans ok

dxmedstudent

No, no they are not. OUR BIRTH CANAL IS BARELY BIG ENOUGH TO FIT OUR BABY’S SKULL.

It’s just really bad design, and I for one, wish that we could lay eggs instead.

drferox

Can you imagine if we applied bovine obstetric principles to humans though?

I’m just gonna pop some chains around baby’s feet…

Just going to put these eye hooks in place…

dxmedstudent

The WHAT?!?

drferox

Eye hooks.

They come in a short version, for which two are generally tied together in a loop to have one for each eye socket:

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On long handled ones, if you’re trying to do more manipulation than pulling:

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They are used for grabbing the neonate’s head by the eye sockets to position it correctly. You can tear an eyelid this way if you’re unfortunate or not careful, but that’s way safer than putting something around the lower jaw and breaking that off. Generally you’d only use the blunt versions for live births.

Foals and calves have quite long necks compared to humans, so there’s lots of different ways they can get themselves stuck in the wrong position. For a normal birth the neonate should kind of ‘swan dive’ out of the birth canal, with the head between or over the front legs. If that neck is bent backwards, it’s just not comign out.

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And everything is slippery in there. Hence, eye hooks.

humanitymed

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Originally posted by diostukos

fuck-usag

EYE HOOKS. How do you position the hooks if their neck is bent backwards?

drferox

With difficulty and lots of lube.

First, you have to push the calf back inside the cow which is very difficult without pharmaceutical assistance, because the cow’s uterus is much stronger than you are and it’s been trying very hard to push the calf out, it doesn’t really do ‘backwards’.

Then once the calf is in the uterus again and not in the narrow birth canal, you’ve got room to try to slide it back around into a semi-normal position by whatever means necessary. You grab whatever you can grab, one handed, in the slippery darkness, and hook the eye sockets, holding the hooks in place with gentle traction.

Usually you’d hold them in the palm of your hand as you slide over the calf before putting them into position.

It’s like biological tetris.

a+ gif usage
drpathetique pharmdup
pharmdup

There’s one way to the heart of a critical care provider and it involves speed

Calling on order #1: So I’m not sure that you meant to infuse that medication at that high rate forever without an end time.

Provider: I mean obviously you’re right but also duh I’ve got great communication with my nurses and you don’t know what it’s like up here, you hack

Calling on different order later: So your patient looks super sick but you’ve ordered the med to infuse super slow. You can totally run it five times faster.

Provider: Yes. Yes. You genius. Do that. I’m so glad we have pharmacists. I’m going to tell the nurse to slam it in the IV. Please call me to chat anytime.