No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.

anthraxlobster

Free worldbuilding idea:

Wizards have the same trust in magic that software designers have in software, which is to say, almost none at all.

“Are you fucking kidding me I worked in a reagrent shop for a few years I don’t trust any of that stuff. Who the hell knows what other components are in the ashes.”

“Yeah I was in the circle that made Alston’s Divine Circle of Teleportation. There’s some pretty nasty corner cases you can get into but the headmaster published it without us. I just take ships. It’s way safer.”

“I call bullshit on that Necromancer channeling spirits of loved ones. What did he say he was using? ‘Medium Conduit Ruinic Circles’? That’s just a bunch of buzzwords slapped together, and they don’t even interact with each other.”

“I’ve been looking at this scroll all morning and I’m 90% sure that the scribe didn’t even look at the standard for pyromancies.”

digitaldiscipline

“Help Desk, this is Gloriline, what did you fuck up this time?”
*indistinct vocals*
“Dave, I’ve seen the news, and, frankly, I can see the ash cloud from here. You paid for extended support, not enabling support.”

purewriting

“I can’t get this fucking spell to work, Jane, can you look it?”

*passes a scroll* *a few moments of silence*

“I think you missed a bookend rune right here-”

“GODS DAMN IT! IT’S ALWAYS SHIT LIKE THAT! THANK YOU!” *angrily scribbles on parchment*

(It takes five more aggravatingly tiny adjustments before the spell works)

crazy-pages

I don’t play wizards anymore because they’re too much like my day job.

drackir

Instead of a orb the wizard has a little statue of a duck he tells his spells to and then swears when he spots the obvious mistake.

beachfox

You beat me to it! I was going to add that the reason why wizards and witches always have familiars around is so they can Rubber Duck at them until they realize what the mistake with their spell is!

Outsiders get it wrong and figure the familiars are somehow teaching spells to their owners, but no. It’s just explaining to Firewing what you’re trying to do with this teleportation matrix until you realize that you’ve been using telepathy crystals to power it the whole time like a FUCKING IDIOT!

bardicknowledgeblogger

@dmplz

dr-archeville

@rpgwizzard

weareadventurers

@wearemage

willkommen-in-germany

Käsesahne-Torte mit Mandarinen

3 Eier - 3 Essl. heißes Wasser - 150 g Zucker - 1 Pck. Vanillezucker - 150 g Mehl - 1 Teel. Backpulver - Füllung: 500 g Quark - 1 kleine Dose Mandarinen - 150 g Zucker - 2 Pck. Vanillezucker - abgeriebene Schale einer Zitrone - 6 Blatt weiße Gelatine - ¼ liter Sahne

Eier und heißes Wasser schaumig rühren, dabei nach und nach den mit Vanillezucker gemischten Zucker einrieseln lassen. So lange rühren, bis der Zucker vollständig aufgelöst ist. Dann das mit Backpulver gemischte Mehl vorsichtig unterrühren. Den Teig bei 180° ca. 25 Minuten backen. Auskühlen lassen, und den Boden einmal durchschneiden. Die Gelatine in kaltem Wasser einweichen. Sahne locker aufschlagen. Den Quark cremig aufschlagen. Zucker, Vanillezucker, Mandarinen und Zitronenschale unterrühren. Die aufgeweichte Gelatine ausdrücken und auflösen und unter die Quarkmasse rühren. Die Sahne unterheben. Den unteren Boden mit einem Tortenring umstellen. Quarkmasse einfüllen und zum Schluss den zweiten Boden aufsetzen. Im Kühlschrank fest werden lassen. Vor dem Servieren mit Puderzucker besieben. Guten Appetit. :)

thatswhywelovegermany

3 eggs - 3 tablespoons of hot water - 150 g sugar - 1 package vanilla sugar - 150 g flour - 1 teaspoon of baking powder - For the filling: 500 g Quark (German curd cheese) - 1 small can of mandarins - 150 g sugar - 2 packages vanilla sugar - ground peel of a lemon - 6 leaves of white gelatin - ¼ liter cream

Stir eggs and hot water until frothy, slowly adding sugar and vanilla sugar. Keep stirrung until the sugar is completely dissolved. Carefully stir under the flour, which had been pre-mixed with the baking powder.Bake the dough at 180 °C for about 25 min in a spring form. Let cool and cut the cake horizontally in half. While the cake is baking, wet the gelatin in cold water. Whip the cream. Mix the Quark with sugar, vanilla sugar, mandarins, and lemon peel. Squeeze excess water out of the gelatin and melt it at low heat. Add two tablespoons of the quark mass to the gelatin, then stir it under the quark mass. Fold under the whipped cream. Put a cake ring around the lower half of the cake. Fill in the Quark mass and flatten the top. Put the upper half of the cake on top. Let solidify in the fridge. Before serving, sprinkle with sieved powdered sugar. ENJOY!

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.