No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.

ladyyatexel

I am no longer making an art and am hurtling toward several days of work and several other things that are Ungood and so I am Tense as fuck and worried about about everything on a cellular level

Like my body is just vibrating with billions of tiny screams

ladyyatexel

so my mom called

she’s in the art store where she gets all the things i paint for her and my step-dad framed, and i guess there was such a damn commotion about the deer and her bird on facebook and in the framing department that she just had a fucking Moment

and she called and asked what I needed, because she wanted to make sure I keep painting, and bought me two pads of hot press watercolor paper and a winsor & newton paint compact

just out of nowhere, a week after blowout holiday nonsense

it’s really overwhelming to have someone else suddenly be very dedicated to me continuing to work too. I’m gonna do my best to do the painting a day thing until some kind of outside event prevents it - Wednesday is therapy and I might be too tired or get home too late to make anything, and Saturday is seeing my cousins and grandmother which takes The Whole Day - but after that, I want to try to keep myself to at least something painted a week.

I feel even more like I inhabit my own body when I paint, I think it’s more of a need now than it has ever been.