vic-fontaine
It’s really important that if you didn’t know this, that you know this
hebicakes
The passive agressive energy of this
catsofinstagram
From @kitten_faces: “Are you a morning person? Not these guys today! (pardon my annoying morning voice)” #catsofinstagram [source: http://bit.ly/2RkDy7E ]
russianwholesomeness
cosmictuesdays
meeedeee
oatplant asked:
Why do you think so much fiction about robots has robots specifically be detectives
glumshoe answered:
I don’t know, but it’s frustrating that most robot detectives are good at their jobs. I want more shitty robot detectives. They’re trying their best but oh my god. Oh my god. Who greenlighted this project?! The programming is dysfunctional… the AI is a mess… the only reason they solve any mysteries at all is because people pity them and just want to help them out…
“God. I’m so sorry. Please forgive the detective - this project was rushed and didn’t get much testing or development. You’re not actually a murder suspect, it’s just decided that the most efficient way to complete the objective ‘identify murderer’ is to accuse absolutely everyone in a 20 mile radius of the crime by the logic that the murderer is probably one of the eight million people living in the city.”
“SleuthBot9000, what are your thoughts?”
“Frequency analysis of online databases suggests that the most statistically probable explanation is that ‘the butler did it’.”
“Slu…”
“Yes, sir?”
“How much did you cost to build?”
“22 million dollars, sir.”
“Jesus fuck.”
“The suspect was found with hundreds of gigabytes of obscene images on his personal computer.”
“‘Slu… these are cat pictures…”
“Like I said, sir. Obscene.”
“SleuthBot9000, I’ve been reviewing your reports. It says here that you’re programmed to meet a quota of 30 solved crimes a month.”
“Yes, sir.”
“It says you have met this quota perfectly since your activation April.”
“Yes, sir.”
“It also says that there has been a single culprit in each case.”
“Yes, sir.”
“It says that culprit is SleuthBot9000. Slu… have you been committing crimes just so you can solve them and meet quota?”
“Yes, sir. It was the most efficient solution.”
“What happened to the robot?”
“SleuthBot9000 has retired from the force.”
“Oh thank god.”
“Yeah uh… turns out trying to solve crimes algorithmically using machine learning was a disaster, and fine-tuning it to think more like a real cop had some, ah, unintended results.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
“Well, within three days it had become a racial profiling machine. We did some experiments and had it watch a basketball game. Every time a white player passed the ball to a black player, Slu identified the orange basketball as a gun and started recommending defensive action. It did the same thing when we showed it a video of a black toddler playing with a toy truck. It finally glitched out when we asked it to identify a black couple holding hands - it got confused because its new algorithm told it that it was looking at a gun paradoxically holding and being held by another gun. It started sparking and babbling incoherent nonsense until Sgt. Delaney shut it down.”
“So that’s the end of SleuthBot9000?”
“Well, yes and no. Internal affairs and the ACLU have requested to review copies of its programming. I like to think that Slu will get a memory wipe and spend the rest of its days peacefully misidentifying flocks of sheep in lush green fields somewhere in the countryside.”
“Captain, is that… is that SleuthBot9000?”
“I’m afraid so, Henley.”
“I thought you said it had retired to counting electric sheep!”
“Yes, well, it’s back and it looks like it’s here to stay. Get used to it.”
“But… why?! It was comically incompetent! It was humiliating to work with… I’m still sending getting angry letters demanding apologies for its behavior and dismal policing. I watched it try to arrest a bronze statue for loitering, Captain! A bronze statue!”
“The one that looks like an old lady with a bag of groceries? Can’t say I blame it - never liked that statue much. The thing is, Henley, you and I both know that it was a bad detective and a joke of a cop. But… believe it or not, it did its job. Not the one we wanted it for, no, but the whole point in automating detective work was to improve policing. According to the sociologists and Internal Affairs, our friend Slu was a goddamn psychology experiment designed to inspire human achievement through relative failure. Statistics show that all departments issued a SleuthBot9000 experienced a dramatic decrease in reports of human misconduct, wrongful arrests, and violent altercations with civilians. Apparently Slu serves as a mocking mirror of our own incompetence and fills us with a desire to be better than we are. The actual damage it has caused is negligible.”
“So. We’re just gonna… let it do its thing? Its horrible, horrible thing? Because we want to perform humanity more gracefully?”
“Bingo. It’s getting a promotion.”
“That’s stupid.”
“Science fiction frequently is.”
terrypratchettappreciation
july-19th-club
Bees were busy, or at least endeavoring to look and sound busy, in the thyme by the roadside. Cloud shadows flickered over the alpine meadows. There was the kind of big, empty silence made by an environment that not only doesn’t have any people in it, but doesn’t need them either.
Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters (via july-19th-club)
oldschoolsciencefiction
clickerpunk
So since we’re nearing the end of 2018 i figured id throw together a collection of my favourite pictures/experiences we had this year.
Even though most of the summer went into wound care and healing after her injury, id say we had a relatively good year, which is nice after not having a great time the past 2 years.
Im forever grateful that she’s still with me, still her expressive self. I wasn’t sure she would ever recover fully after her injury, and like the vet said, the possibility of her hock getting infected was very high, and if that had happened she would probably not have made it. But after a month of obsessive cleaning and bandaging, we finally pulled though.
After this i decided i wanted to spend more time doing fun things with her, taking her swimming, hiking, fetching branches for winter, putting a lot more time into our clicker training and going for trail rides with friends. I think we both enjoyed this summer quite a lot.
Thank you for following along on our little blog, i never intended to gain almost 4000 of you, but you make this whole blog thing a lot of fun! <3
notacatblog
sugarpillcosmetics
❄️ @andeedoll demonstrates the magic of Sub-Zero! The time release glitter formula applies matte and sparkles when you press your lips together! 🌌 #sugarpill
t00thpasteface
