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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
ladyyatexel

Anonymous asked:

I love reading your unboxing stories <3 welcome to the doll crew, Claude!

Aww, that’s lovely, I’m so glad to hear that!

I didn’t write down all of them when I went back and did that mass unboxing this last autumn in defiance of my dad’s mandate from 20 years ago, but a few of them have been particularly meaningful or just a happy experience and I wanted to share them, so I’m happy someone likes hearing them!

Egyptian Queen Barbie was still by far the most affecting since I stood in my mom’s basement and sobbed while doing it, but I think I feel a particular satisfaction with Water Lily Barbie because my mom liked her so much and because I think she was the most expensive Barbie I owned growing up. I never imagined I would be able to take her out of the box because of fear and value and my dad being The Worst, but I did it with such casual ease the other day that my younger self would have developed a heart condition and collapsed on the spot.

And I enjoy her so much more when she’s not encased in cardboard :)

neil-gaiman

manicpixiedreamjew asked:

Hey Neil. Someone recently told me that because I’m not ethnically Jewish (I’m a conversion student set to be “official” within the next year), I shouldn’t be writing ethnically Jewish characters. What do you think? I’ve been actively involved with my Jewish community for years so accusations like that are pretty hurtful.

As a writer of fiction part of your duty and obligation is to write characters who are not you. Write them well, write them with respect and interest. And don’t listen to anyone who tells you you aren’t allowed to write people who aren’t you. You are.

ladyyatexel chickwhodigs
beeth0ven

my mom is a well intentioned yet nosy mom and she always wants to hook me up with people. it leads to some text message gems so the other day i went through and screenshotted the best. please enjoy.

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wahbegan

“I either just met a nice gay girl or a bigot” is bar none the absolute best text anyone has ever sent in the history of the human race nosy mom accidentally sums up the entire debate about the word q*eer in one historic text message it’s indescribably beautiful

elodieunderglass knitmeapony

Variations On A Theme

aaronsmithtumbler

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. And Adam fashioned an axe, and he cut down the Tree of Knowledge. And God asked “Adam, what have you done?” And Adam said “I refuse to be complicit in my own temptation.”

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. So Adam picked the fruit of the tree and planted it in the ground. A few years later, another Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil grew from the place he had planted it, and Adam ate the fruit of that one.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. But the serpent told him this was lies, and that if he ate from the Tree of Knowledge he would not die, but would become as God. “How do you know?” asked Adam. “Have you eaten the fruit?” “Yes,” said the serpent. “I have tasted of it, yet I did not die.” So Adam ate the serpent.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. And Adam asked “The fruit of the Tree?” And God said “Yes, the fruit of the Tree”. So Adam picked the leaves of the Tree and made a delicious Good And Evil Salad.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. Adam desired to taste of the fruit, and he decided that if he was going to get in trouble for breaking a commandment he might as well go all out. So he waited until the tree was heavy with fruits, then binged on all of them in one sitting. And the Lord definitely cast him out of Eden - but on the plus side, thousands of years later his descendants had excellent moral compasses and always knew the right thing to do in every situation.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. And Adam obeyed the commandment, and instead he ate of the Tree of Knowledge of Cool and Uncool. Then he saw his own nakedness, and found it unfashionable, so he made a snazzy jacket out of leaves and bark. And the Lord saw the jacket, and said “Adam, have you eaten from the Tree of Knowledge of Cool and Uncool?” And Adam said “You’re not my dad, you can’t tell me what to do.” And the Lord sent him forth from the garden, but Adam just said “Laaaaaaaaaame”.

tremorbond

“but on the plus side, thousands of years later his descendants had excellent moral compasses and always knew the right thing to do in any situation.”  Which is not to say they *did* it, they just knew what they *should* do.

elodieunderglass

“so Adam ate the serpent”

fair enough Gods and Monsters saints and sinners theology