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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
cosmictuesdays k8monster
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Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship’s spending allowance? Like: 

“I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?” 

“Oh well, if we don’t rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth.” 

“…Noted.” 

“I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material - however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries.” 

“Ah, yeah, it’s not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it.”

“…that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard.”

“Yeah.”

“Does such a process not hurt?”

“That’l be what the medication’s for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process.” 

“…and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?” 

“Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo’Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?” 

“…I believe I should speak with my superiors.” 

batzendrick

I love how Stabby the Roomba has become such a consistent in-joke among these sorts of blogs.

tumblunni

Galactic hero stabby the roomba: his legend continues

terrypratchettappreciation books-are-portals

moonchildpages asked:

your opinion on terry pratchett? 😏

books-are-portals answered:

LISTEN I will preach about the good works of Terry Pratchett like and Omnian who’s had a prophetic vision, because he’s my favourite author of all time. His books are funny, serious, uplifting, and hearbreaking all at the same time (or within any 10 pages). However, I’m also aware that he’s not to everyone’s taste (meaning that I will rec him to everyone but won’t be offended if they don’t like him). I also don’t think that he was a perfect person or a perfect writer; the man made mistakes. What I do think is that if you go through his works through the years, you will see his growth both as a person and as a writer. And I feel plenty of people could learn from his example.

GNU Terry Pratchett