No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.

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Unknown Worlds No. 21, October-November 1966

i-am-a-bit-squeemish

I’m sorry, all I see is Julian looking after some baby Cardassians who decided that he is their dad now, and keep escaping their cot for warm cuddles.

ameerawritesstuff

Ask and yee shall recieve.

–

Julian had given up on keeping the Cardassian infants in the incubated crate that O'Brien had designed for them. Garak had approved of it and assured Julian that it was perfectly normal in this modern day and age to use a similar device for premature children even on Cardassia, but it seemed the babies didn’t care about that. Instead of being woken up in the middle of the night by one of them jumping on his chest, Julian surrendered to the fact that he would now be cuddling what were, essentially, small lizards every night.

“Now this is something right out of a romance novel.” Garak chuckled, causing Julian to jump awake.

“What?” Julian said, rubbing his eyes as the babies readjusted themselves now that he was in a different position.

“Single fathers come with a family, which is what’s most important on Cardassia.” Garak explained. “And the man almost only gets to keep his children if his wife dies, so there’s no issue of disgraceful divorce. Seeing a single young man being so doting to his children would have half of Cardassia swooning.”

“That…” Julian shook his head, processing everything. “That’s not what I was asking.”

“Then what was, doctor?”

“What are you doing in my quarters!?” Julian huffed. One of the infants hissed at Garak when Julian showed annoyance toward him, the babies had grown rather protective of Julian. Julian gave each of the three a soothing pat on the head so they’d calm down. Garak’s smile only grew wider.

“I wanted to see if you needed anything.” Garak said innocently. “And if it was unnecessary, I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Then why did you?” Grumbled Julian.

“I’ll admit, when I saw you snuggling your children, I couldn’t help but comment aloud.” Garak sighed. Julian rolled his eyes but then looked at the babies that had now moved to his lap.

“Were you ever this small?” Julian smiled.

“Those three were born prematurely, doctor.” Garak answered. “A full term pregnancy produces much larger children.” Garak sat down on the bed and looked at the babies. “I’m actually surprised they survived at all.”

“You and me both.” Julian exhaled. “It didn’t look like they would at first.” Julian frowned and looked sad. “I just wish I could have done something for Nakeli.” Garak placed his hand gently on Julian’s.

“Their mother knew she had no chance.” Garak soothed. “Saving her children is more than anything else you could have given her.” Garak looked thoughtful again. “Are you going to do something about their tails when they’re a bit older?”

“I was actually meaning to ask you about that.” Julian said. “We don’t know much about Cardassian infants.” Julian picked one of the children up with a smile. “Did you have your tail removed or does it fall off?”

“I wasn’t born with one.” Garak said, obviously amused. “We evolved past them long ago. We only have them in the womb, but after five months, it should be gone.”

“And all exceptions have surgery?” Julian asked.

“The government provides it.” Garak nodded.

“Is it normal for babies to be born bald?” Julian was smiling as the baby in his hands gave him a lick on the cheek.

“It’s rather common. Hair will grow in time.” Garak reassured. “I must admit, I’m a bit out of my depth here though.”

“So you weren’t ever a nanny?” Julian laughed. Garak shook his head. “Want to try?”

“I could try to help you watch over the little ones.” Garak nodded. “Especially since you’ll need to return to work soon enough.”

“I warn you, if they ever spend the night, they will demand to sleep with you.” Julian grinned.

“Well, they’re drawn to your mammalian heat.” Garak waved a hand. “It’s probably as close to the womb as they can get.”

“The incubator is warmer.” Julian frowned. “And yet they insist on coming into my bed.”

“Who wouldn’t, given the option?” Garak said with a sly smile. Julian blinked, not sure what to say and Garak quickly changed the subject. “What are their names by the way?”

“I…” Julian blushed. “I haven’t actually named them.”

“Oh?” Garak said in surprise. “Don’t you think you should?”

“Well, I want to give them Cardassian names,” Julian explained, “but when we locate Nakeli’s husband, it should really be his decision.”

“That’s thoughtful of you.” Garak nodded. “But it would hardly hurt to give them something temporary to keep them straight.”

“Well, why don’t you name them?” Julian suggested. “You’re really more qualified than I am.” Garak looked like he might protest but Julian pushed the baby he was holding into Garak’s hands. “Come on, start with this one. What’s her name?” Garak looked into the eyes of the infant for some time before he softly whispered:

“Mila.”

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.