[arrghigiveup]

[pervocracy]

You can ruin almost any social system with enough bad faith.

It takes very little cleverness to go to a toilet with a sign reading “please do not flush paper towels,” flush gravel until it breaks, and then declare victory.

But victory over what?  You haven’t debunked the warning sign or the plumbing system; you’ve just abused them.  You have not made a persuasive case that the warning sign should read “please do not flush paper towels or gravel,” because obviously your wise ass is just waiting to see that sign so you have an excuse to flush a third inappropriate thing.  You also haven’t made a persuasive case that the toilets should be continuously guarded and all visitors frisked for non-flushable objects, because the vast majority of people aren’t as big of a jerk as you.

“This system can be broken by someone who exploits its rules in the most malicious possible way” is true of many otherwise fine systems, and unless the system is safety-critical or there’s a very large group of people motivated to break it, it’s not really an important point to make.

There is nothing original, helpful, or insightful about pointing out that one person with a firehose could ruin a whole sand-sculpture competition.  Yeah, it’s true, that is a risk we are taking.  Please don’t show up with a firehose just to prove your point.

[sleyby]

This is how I feel about people who create fake donation posts, and take actual money from real people, to “teach them a lesson” about being too kind. It’s obvious that they don’t care about people getting tricked out of their money, because if they did, they wouldn’t be so eager to do it to people themselves. What they object to is kindness, and they’ll do anything they can to destroy it where they find it.

[saga-carolin]

I’ve seen several posts about health insurance, welfare, paid maternity leave + + (that have all turned out to be written by americans, just saying) that go on about how if we help a bunch of people, SOME are going to take advantage of the system and that’s unacceptable. And.. what IS that? Why is it that helping 1000 people among whom 5 maybe don’t need that help, is seen as worse than helping no one? Why is it so terrible a risk that kindness may fall upon the occasional individual who doesn’t deserve it as much? If ONE of your guests turned out to have already eaten, would you cancel dinner? No!

There are ALWAYS gonna be a small amount of people who take advantage of kindness, but it seems to me only a very fucked up society would consider that a solid reason to not be kind.

[the-real-seebs]

That’s a really good point. I’ve had this exact conflict with people many times; “this system is bad, look, if I act in bad faith, it doesn’t work”. Okay, so stop doing that?

[moist-rosebud]

[ex-cunnus-mea]

“I used to love to write. As a child I used to write all the time. I loved to write up until the second I got my first professional writing job. It turns out it’s not that I hate to write. I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert. I have no energy. I never have. I just have no desire to be productive. Now that I realize I don’t hate to write, that I just hate to work, it makes writing easier.”

— Fran Lebowitz

[doubleyew]

[vic-fontaine]

[llapdance]

I regret nothing

[thylaforever]

Only the best mash-up of show and song deserves reblogging this fine June morn

[ladyyatexel]

[tarysande]

I think the hardest part of dealing with mental illness (and a lot of illnesses, to be honest), is that you have to advocate for yourself. A lot. And when your thoughts (motivation, energy, etc.) are compromised, that’s really, really hard.

A few years ago, I was unmedicated and really, really depressed. I’d had a couple of early bad experiences with meds (Paxil can die in a fire) and was really hesitant about going back on them. Eventually, my despair about my despair was stronger than my uneasiness about medication side-effects. So, I went back on meds. Yes, I had to try a couple. Yes, I had to give them time to work; nothing is a magic fix. Nothing.

But eventually, wonder of wonders, I felt better.

Here’s the thing, though: sometimes better is not best possible. I was so happy to be more functional and not as sad/hopeless/etc. that I didn’t really want to question better.

Signs persisted that maybe I wasn’t doing as well as I could be. I still really struggled with enjoyment, motivation, periods of crippling hopelessness, anxiety, fatigue, oversleeping and overeating as comfort. But I felt better, you know? And since, quite frankly, I didn’t actually remember a time where I felt great!, I kinda thought better was as good as it could get. I was more functional. I was more engaged. I was happier.

But I was so, so tired. And I missed writing. I missed writing more than I’d ever missed anything in my life. If anything has ever been able to push me to get myself together, it’s always been writing.

About a month/six weeks ago, I went to see a psychiatrist because I’d been pushing my GP about the fatigue and lack of motivation and she referred me. He asked, “How do you feel?” and I said, with complete honesty, “So much better than I did.” And he said, “I hear what you’re saying, but here’s the thing: the answers on these questionnaires you’ve just filled out tell me you’re still struggling. Quite a lot. You may feel better than you did, but I don’t think you’re actually doing as well as you think.”

I was a bit gobsmacked, to be honest. I was doing so much better, right? The long and short of it is, he upped my dosage of the medication I’m taking. He suggested supplementary vitamins with peer-reviewed positive effects. He encouraged me to maintain my level of activity and increase it a little when I could. He outlined options for different kinds of talk therapy. He said, “Check in with your GP every couple of weeks and fill out those questionnaires every time.”

So, I doubled down on taking care of myself in all the ways I could. I upped my meds. I walked more. I cut back on things I had been overindulging on. I tried to aim for moderation instead of extremes. I started a regimen of vitamins. I practiced self-care as much as possible. I don’t mean for this to sound like it was easy, but I took the steps I could take and added to them as I felt better.

And, in case someone out there needs an anecdote to help them push for self-advocation, here’s the deal: I look back at the better I was feeling six weeks ago, and I can see so clearly how not-really-better it was. It was coping; treading water. The last couple of weeks, in particular, I’ve felt every positive change clicking in. I have energy all day even though I’m sleeping 7 hours instead of 10. I have motivation. I’m dealing with 85% less overwhelm. I’m taking risks and, amazingly, seeing some positive results. I’m juggling multiple projects and feeling good about them all. I’m writing again. And not tortured “I should be writing” writing. Joyful writing, like I haven’t experienced in months and months and maybe even years. Guys, I’m genuinely happy.

It’s still not a magic fix. There is no magic fix. My issues are chronic and I need to be aware of the potential for relapse. It’s just a thing I have to deal with. There are, however, tools out there that can help people. But, and this is the hardest part, you have to push for them. You have to keep asking. You have to make your GP understand that no, you’re not just tired. No, feeling this empty isn’t just a low patch. No, you don’t have all the answers but you know you need more than you’re getting right now. No, actually, writer’s block that lasts this long isn’t just a thing writers deal with. No, no, no. Dig your heels in. It’s really hard. Sometimes it’ll feel impossible. Take time to regroup. Then put up your fists and start fighting for yourself again. You deserve it.

Better is fine. It may not be the best possible, though. And you deserve to find the best possible.

Questionnaires: PHQ-9 (depression) and GAD-7 (anxiety). Monitor yourself and do not hesitate to talk to your GP about your results.

[ladyyatexel]

[tssathompson]

John Mulaney & Nick Kroll Answer the Web’s Most Searched Questions

[ladyyatexel]

[thelovelybones124]

I’m sorry if I’ve ever been that toxic person in someone’s life &/or hindered anyone’s growth. Even in the smallest of ways

[ladyyatexel]

[queernerdfangirl]

The fun thing about anxiety and depression: no one is more pissed off at your bullshit than you.

[ladyyatexel]

[ladyyatexel]

I don’t know where this Bongo cat thing came from and I have assuredly never seen the original if such a thing exists but I am pleased that it’s a thing

[ladyyatexel]

[cannibal-wiki]

something that people really dont understand about ADHD is that we dont “jump from one idea to the next”

we have very fast, very associative minds that connect ideas. we have a train of thought, it just goes WAY faster than yours!

example: im thinking about dogs. that makes me think of pitbulls, which makes me think of an animal planet show i enjoy. the show connects to tv in general, which makes me think of my favorite cartoon. i associate my favorite cartoon with art and animation, and i wind up thinking about shading techniques.

TL;DR: having ADHD is kinda like playing a lifelong game of 7 Degrees of Kevin Bacon

[gazztron]

…WHAT THE FUCK

[trashgender-neurotica]

I am plagued by this but also that associative learning makes it really easy to be a hyper-generalist in terms of skills and knowledge.

[rptheturk]

This is how my brain works….

[anjastasia]

The downside is, very few people can keep pace with these jumps, and I’ve actually been told my “mind leaps” are annoying.

Yeah.

Let that sink in.

Being told that the way my mind makes connections between Point A and Point D while seemingly bypassing B and C is “annoying”.

[inyri]

… this.

It drives my husband absolutely NUTS- we’ll be having a conversation and in a lull between sentences I’ll have jumped ahead six topics, pop back in with a “Yeah, and-“

Meanwhile, he’s looking at me like I’ve grown another head. To him, whatever I’ve just said is a total non sequitur, but I can track EXACTLY how I got there… it just doesn’t make any sort of sense to anyone but me.

[sssacred-nikki]

Finally seeing this in words is very therapeutic for me

[twistedingenue]

This is how my husband and I bonded. We both understood these types of associative leaps, so if we didn’t get the end point, we JUST ASKED EACH OTHER.