No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.

Anonymous asked:

If you could put any of the guys from DS9 in a boy band (N'SYNC/Backstreet Boys style), who would you put in the band, who would be their manager, and what would their name be? Bonus points: What is the name of their first album, or the name of their biggest hit song? Super Extra Bonus Points: Are any of the other characters (besides the members of the band and the manager) involved with the band? Like as groupies or something?

tinsnip answered:

Wow.

Wow. Wow. I have nothing.

But I’m fascinated to see what other people might do with this most intriguing ask…?

gladdecease

My first impulse was “boy band as a Noh-Jay Consortium B-plot!” Like, early seasons!Nog learns about the ~profitable~ boy band culture and decides to start one with Jake. (Nog is obviously the Pretty Jerk, but Jake can be the Sensitive Guy.) Quark finds out and reluctantly offers practicing/performing space? Rom is a giant groupie.

Sisko and the rest of the staff bemusedly come to the first performance, and they’re basically the whole audience. The song is a flop and their dance quickly loses track of the beat, and two weeks after its conception, The Deepspace Boys break up. (Nog is bitterly convinced he shoulda gone solo; Jake thinks maybe you need more than two people to be a boy band instead of a boy duo?)

…but I also like the idea of a boy band full of Kira’s exes. Bland Bajoran Guys make up the majority of the band, and are inoffensive enough to gain some appeal when matched with a talented songwriter and choreographer. (Who that would be I can’t say.) Bashir and O’Brien are unofficial members because of That Thing We Don’t Talk About and Kirayoshi (well, really, UST While Pregnant, but Kirayoshi’s the public explanation), respectively.

Odo really really wants to join, but is afraid he’ll spontaneously shapeshift a second left foot in the middle of a routine.

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.