[creekfiend]

[chaumas-deactivated20230115]

one of my dad’s old doctor friends recently found out he’s got two X chromosomes

he’s taken it in stride and it’s just a fun fact he brings up but it’s killing me that he’s too old and offline for me to send him the ‘gee Billy’ meme

[chaumas-deactivated20230115]

[shadow-daughter]

NO. PRINT IT OUT.

[chaumas-deactivated20230115]

he’s a doctor so if I show it to him he’ll just be like “well actually research shows that people with kleinfelter syndrome are equally likely to have inherited their extra X chromosome from either their mother or their father” and then talk cheerfully about chromosomes for an hour without laughing

[creekfiend]

[caldump]

hes a sweet boy

[caldump]

i dont know why people keep tagging this as el woo woo but its endearing and i agree. el woo woo <3

[rjalker]

“Calling someone an it is dehumanizing!!!”

Some people aren’t human, asshole, and they don’t need to be human to deserve respect.

[shiftythrifting]

Zyrtec dust mite paperweight from a Value Village in Oregon

[morallydiseased]

[funnytwittertweets]

[sindri42]

Bees choose to live in the box where they know damn well that a large fraction of the honey will periodically be removed, instead of simply leaving that place like they are perfectly able to do, because the human box comes with an invulnerable titan to guard them against all threats. The bees consider the payment offered to this colossal mercenary to be a pretty good deal.

[intjint]

Bees know about supply and demand

[urbanfantasyinspiration]

Protection money

[stitch-n-time]

Protection honey

[lizziedoesvetpath]

[apas-95]

the rest of tumblr: hehoo capybara :)

deutschblr: oh mein gott a wet Pig

[petermorwood]

[geeoharee]

Die Hard is a Christmas movie because if it wasn't, Hogfather wouldn't be so obviously based off it.

- Charismatic leader recruits a gang of idiots to break into a tower, but there's more to the job than first meets the eye

- Most of their time is taken up trying to open a door with seven locks on it

- The most valuable loot involved is a load of boxes of negotiable paper

- The villain falls off the building because he only had hold of the girl's sleeve (/ wristwatch)

- And then there's a final attack just when you weren't expecting it.

There's also a scene where Susan calls Teatime a common thief and he objects, but if I'm going to post a quote I prefer this one. As movie folklore relates, that look is because they dropped Rickman on '1'.

It would be more interesting if John McClane had been pursued by his childhood nightmares the whole time, admittedly. I'd watch that.

[the-meme-monarch]

some future chapter of deltarune where after finally meeting and hopefully befriending papyrus i think it’d be really good to go to the dark world w him at one point and upon seeing kris’ dark world self he goes “you’re blue now” for no other reason than that ‘you’re blue now’ is my favorite undertale line maybe ever. idk why. I just thought it was really funny

[burlbread]

[everythingfox]

Baby chameleons help eliminate fruit flies

(via)

[terrypratchettappreciation]

[noirandchocolate]

‘You, er, want us to attack him?’ said the guard miserably.  Thick though the palace guards were, they were as aware as anyone else of the conventions, and when guards are summoned to deal with one man in overheated circumstances it’s not a good time for them.  The bugger’s bound to be heroic, he was thinking.  This guard was not looking forward to a future in which he was dead.

‘Of course, you idiot!’

‘But, er, there’s only one of him,’ said the guard captain.

‘And he’s smilin’,’ said a man behind him.

‘Prob’ly goin’ to swing on the chandeliers any minute,’ said one of his colleagues.  ‘And kick over the table, and that.’

‘He’s not even armed!’ shrieked Wonse.

‘Worst kind, that,’ said one of the guards, with deep stoicism.  ‘They leap up, see, and grab one of the ornamental swords behind the shield over the fireplace.’

‘Yeah,’ said another, suspiciously.  ‘And then they chucks a chair at you.’

‘There’s no fireplace! There’s no sword!  There’s only him!  Now take him!’ screamed Wonse.

A couple of guards grabbed Vimes tentatively by the shoulders.  ‘You’re not going to do anything heroic, are you?’ whispered one of them.

‘Wouldn’t know where to start,’ he said.

‘Oh.  Right.’

–Terry Pratchett, “Guards! Guards!”