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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
synapsid-taxonomy is-the-primate-vid-cute

sugurudyke asked:

do monkeys really love bananas as much as we think they do ?

is-the-primate-vid-cute answered:

Oh yeah! Fruit of any kind will be the first thing they go for. Grapes are typically most popular because they’re just sugar bombs. Bananas probably became the staple “monkey food” because they are cheap!

ishouldgetatumbler

Do they eat eggs cooked or only raw eggs

wagrobanite

The chimps I worked with, when we did give them eggs (which wasn't often), they were always scrambled. Partly because that's how these specific chimps were raised (all but one were cross-fostered) but also for safety reasons such as risk of salmonella

is-the-primate-vid-cute

I've offered eggs scrambled and hard boiled and the chimps I worked with hated them. One girl ate them, and one girl would throw them back at me.

Most monkeys love eggs! Scrambled and boiled.

Monkeys in the wild will eat raw egg but yeah in professional settings we only offer cooked for safety.

darkfalcon-z

speaking about eggs, do you want to see Fatou, world oldest gorilla enjoy hard boiled eggs (and other yummy snacks) for her birthday? She peels the eggs with her mouth.

if you do:

is-the-primate-vid-cute

Yes I do!! I'm so happy for her I hope she had a great birthday!! 🎉

Apes have super dexterous lips and can peel shells, nuts, and many other things with just their mouth!

bunjywunjy

Anonymous asked:

hey can you give us some hella cursed facts about turtles

it was late evening when the anon sashayed into my office like they had nothing better to do on a wednesday night, babbling something about turtles.

reluctantly, I paused my very scientific attempts to see just how many cocktail napkins I could stuff into a shot glass (my current record is 47, but you have to chew them up first) and paid the anon my full attention.

I would expect it back later, with interest.

“look, kid,” I said, giving the anon the ol’ fisheye stare from under the brim of my yellow fedora, “I’m not sure if you read the sign on the door before you barged into my humble abode here, but it’s after hours. I’m not taking any more cases tonight.”

the anon sighed gustily, like a bedsheet left out to dry in a windstorm, and leaned against my doorframe in what they clearly thought was a winning fashion. (it was not. now I have to disinfect the jamb AGAIN, thanks very much.)

“but detective! surely you can spare an hour or two for an anon in distress. I have no one to turn to, and I’m absolutely DESPERATE for it- those facts about turtles! and the word on the street is that you never turn down a case like this.”

I sighed, gently thumping the shot glass full of napkins on my desk. I KNEW that whole damn thing about the narrow-headed softshell turtle would come back to bite me. I knew it. (both literally and figuratively, as I had the scar on my ankle to prove.)

“fine,” I grumbled, directly into my desk. “what kind of turtle facts.”

“HELLA cursed,” said the anon enthusiastically, thumping their gray fists on my nice wallpaper in a pointed fashion.

I sat up in my chair and leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. jeeze, it’s been a while since I’ve dusted in here, hasn’t it?

no time for cleaning now, though. it’s time to drag up the details on one of my earliest cases up from the ol’ memory bank.

“alright,” I said slowly, “here’s what I got…”

-

turtles are old, right? old as balls.

image

not this one, obviously.

in both the literal and figurative sense, I mean- individual turtles are often very old, but turtles as a species probably evolved even before the dinosaurs did!

these ancient fuckers were turtling around when Coelophysis was the hottest new critter on the block, they’re THAT old.

image

there are 15 turtles in this picture and they’re all behind that big rock.

however, these ancient turtles might not have looked like you expect them to!

so quick refresher here- you remember that turtle shells are made out of their actual bones, right? mostly ribs?

image

well, the very earliest turtles had made a pretty big head start on that shell, but they hadn’t actually gotten to the part where they put it OUTSIDE of themselves yet.

anyway, they looked like this:

image
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OOPS, ALL RIBS!

now get out of my office.

cursed biology bones no offense to you anon i just wanted to do some creative writing and this seemed fun :) paleo
pangur-and-grim bogleech
prokopetz

You wouldn’t think that flamingoes are extremophiles just from looking at them. It’s like somebody tried to build the vertebrate equivalent of that fungus that lives inside nuclear reactors, and ended up with a gangly pink dinosaur with a spoon for a face.

calloutnevvegas

For everyone in the comments asking how flamingos are extremophiles:

Flamingos can survive in low oxygen, high altitude, high temperatures, low temperatures, high alkaline, they can and will drink boiling water and they can be completely frozen at night and still get up the next morning

Don’t fuck with flamingos

revretch

….. Didn’t know most of that

iamthekaijuking

Huh… so that’s why zoos don’t put them somewhere warm during winter.

revretch

Oh yeah, this leaves out what I *did* know about them–they can also survive hypersalinity. That is, water so salty it kills practically everything else–water so salty it burns your skin.

American flamingos just drink that shit

bogleech

image

(animal death) this is a real undoctored photograph of a dead flamingo on the surface of lake natron, a lake so salty and so alkaline that it’s naturally carbonated like soda and would eat through your stomach lining if you drank from it.

When this photo went viral years ago, most people assumed this poor flamingo must have been killed by the lake.

It is actually the lake where 75% of its global population are hatched. This is a photo from the same lake:

image