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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
libraryspectre

Okay but that part in Network Affect where Murderbot is trying to tear its own hand off to get out of its restraints and it isn’t going well and it kinda hysterically thinks “they better not walk in here and see me with my hand half ripped off or they’ll be like ‘wtf was it doing to itself’” peak social anxiety

the murderbot diaries murderbot muderbot having anxiety about what its captors will think of its escape attempt apslfjf op tag
badjokesbyjeff

A guy walks into a bar and sees a jar of 100$ bills on the counter

He asks the bartender “Hey, what’s with the jar?”

The bartender replies “Well, we have a running challenge here in the bar. It has three parts. If you look at the end there, you’ll see Big Jim. Big Jim is the baddest motherfucker in town. You have to knock Big Jim out.”

The guy looks down to see a 6'4 300lb guy and says “Well, I don’t think I can do that. What’s the other two parts?”

“After that, you have to go outside. Around back is where we keep Big Jim’s dog. He’s the baddest junkyard dog you’ve ever seen. You have to go get a tooth out of his mouth. And then, when you’re done with that you have to go upstairs. There you’ll find Big Jim’s mom. She’s 70 years old and never had an orgasm in her life. You’ve gotta go up there and fuck her to completion.”

The man says “Wow, I can see why the jar is so full.”

After a few hours of drinking the man get sloppy drunk and says “Fuck it,” slaps down a $100 and jumps up on the bar and runs down and kicks Big Jim square in the jaw knocking him out cold. The bartender is stunned, as this is the furthest anyone has made it. The man runs outside to the cheers of the patrons and everyone hears snarling and growling and grows silent. Moments later they hear the dog whimper and then yelp, then nothing.

Moments later the man drunkenly stumbles back in and says “Alright, now where’s the old lady with the tooth?”

funny humor jokes lol comedy
dxmedstudent left-to-say
biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

ok but the "it's okay as long as you tried your best!" attitude is not always helpful, and is outright harmful in excess. You're not obligated to constantly try your best in all matters. You're not obligated to burn yourself out. You're allowed to pace yourself. You have a limited amount of energy/focus/time, and you are allowed to decide what to prioritize.

You will burn yourself out like a tealight in a tornado if you put maximum effort into all things.

dxmedstudent gamma-dealer
prokopetz

I’m pretty convinced that Google is going to be completely useless as a search engine within the next couple of years. The top results for many topics have become increasingly dominated by rigorously SEO optimised pages full of machine-generated gibberish pieced together from scraps of stolen content in order to capture ad views, and Google has absolutely no incentive to fix it because the ads that are being served on those honeypot pages are all purchased from Google.

gamma-dealer

Okay, I thought I was going crazy because because I used to find things so easily and now there’s nothing.