morallydiseased
im-a-dragon-cawcaw
A Faggot’s Defense
Hand cut mirror on baseball bat with holder
32" x 2.5"
2016
Image Description: 2 photos, the first from further out and the second close up. they show a baseball bat mounted on a wall, with the striking surface covered in many tiny mirrored squares to resemble a mirror ball. End Description
Gaga’s disco stick?
morallydiseased
im-a-dragon-cawcaw
Worst part of living with animals is the night time sloppy licking cleaning noises I'm sorry but I cannot sleep . Please fhcking stop please please olease
My cat is on the bed and doing this as I type this out
morallydiseased
bisexualboyfriendwife
Just thinking about people making year-end summaries of their accomplishments and also about reasons to keep yourself alive through the next year. Sorry, it’s a bit of a sappy comic.
Now available as merch in my store.
[ patreon | commissions | store | eevachu.com ]
do not remove comment or repost
morallydiseased
microwaveabl
y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?”
every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen
i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she was “watching her weight”
so this guy behind her, whom no one was talking to, for some fucking reason says “wathing your weight? but what about the wait for your watch?“ (which is a completely unhinged response. like just complete Mad Hatter nonsense)
anyway this lady gets really uncomfortable and of the five people (me, him, her, the other checker, and the customer at the other register) who were now sucked into the uncomfortable silence, i decided that i should alleviate the tension by saying “you can’t wait for a watch; you don’t have the time”
and then he said “oh, quick girl!”, gave me that pen, got out of line, and left without ordering anything
You pleased a mad fae trickster
You probably saved everyone in that coffe shop from a terrible yet whimsical death
morallydiseased
callmeirony
airline customer service: hello this is SAS how can i help
me: ok so i booked a flight with you just now and i’d like to reserve a space for my pet in the cargo hold, i’m bringing a cockatiel
SAS: (audibly worried) uh… uhm… i’m not sure we can… transport that kind of um… pet?
me: oh, huh? i did ring to check before i booked and the guy on the phone said it’d be fine?
SAS: (”dealing with unhinged customers” voice) uh. ok. well, i guess i can try to check… just give me some cage dimensions. how big is its cage
me: well i got him a teeny tiny travel cage, so… 50x30x30, at most
SAS: centimeters??
me: yeah? is there a problem?
SAS: can you tell me exactly how big is this crocodile???
me: COCKATIEL
SAS: …OH
I’m the agent who went through all 5 stages of grief in 2 seconds after hearing the. Customer say they want to take a crocodile onboard
im broken imagining the mental image they had for those few seconds. me rocking up in schipol with a 6 meter saltwater monster on a leash like “hey this is my emotional support animal you gotta let him on”. their lovely swedish lilt cracked and faltered but still they persisted. a brave soul. you pick em well scandinavian airlines
morallydiseased
callmeirony
There’s a serial killer in your town. Unfortunately for them you are a necromancer and you have fun driving that maniac insane.
@townofcan Why would leave this masterpiece in the notes
morallydiseased
callmeirony
Oddly, I just saw a post about a story by @neil-gaiman today that made this especially timely.
For fuck’s sake. I already have to drink so much fucking baby and toddler blood to keep my place in the Hollywood Elite, and now I have to fucking EAT them, too?
This is bullshit.
morallydiseased
microwaveabl
Some blobcats for you today <3
mmmore
More <3
The population is healing :)
I may have,,,,a slight problem,,,,,,
Y'all are gonna make my shitty history class blobcats my most popular post aren't you
morallydiseased
callmeirony
dragonpropaganda asked:
Tell me about more of nature's fucked up little worm creatures that aren't actually worms, I've already fallen in love with caecilians and amphisbaenians and trust nature to have more awful little beasts (affectionate)
bunjywunjy answered:
well then, it is my deepest honor to introduce you to the blind snakes!
(yes, it’s a snake, I swear)
blind snakes form an entire infraoder (Scolecophidia) of snakes, with five families! there are literally DOZENS of species of these things on almost every continent, and you’ve probably never heard of them because…
well, to be honest, they just mostly look like worms.
worms that YELL
blind snakes are indeed blind, and they make a living by tunneling around in the dirt eating bugs and ACTUAL worms, which they track through vibrations underground!
different blind snakes are specialized to eat different prey, and they’re INCREDIBLY variable. look at this bullshit.
so if by chance you dig up something in your garden that wiggles angrily like a nightcrawler, but appears to have an actual goddam MOUTH…
well. congrats, it’s blind snake for you!
morallydiseased
callmeirony
sirenthestone asked:
Is the pink ice cream not always strawberry? Or is it just called pink sometimes?
neil-gaiman answered:
It’s strawberry. It just never tasted like strawberries. Vanilla tastes like vanilla and chocolate tastes like chocolate. But the stuff in Neopolitan ice cream just tastes pink.
I met Neil Gaiman in 1997, I believe, whilst he was waiting for a car at a convention near NYU. He saw my friend gaping at him and came over to chat with us. My completely star struck friend only wanted to know what his favourite Jello flavour was, so I asked for her. He replied, “Green.” I suspect Mr. Gaiman might taste colours and not flavours. 😉
I'm not sure if it's meant to be lime or something else green entirely, like gooseberries.
arcticflakes
