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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
neil-gaiman

kastors asked:

Hi Neil, who is better at maths, Aziraphale or Crowley?

Aziraphale. Definitely.


THE COCOA WAS A CONGEALED brown sludge half filling the cup.

Certain people had spent hundreds of years trying to make sense

of the prophecies of Agnes Nutter. They had been very intelligent, in

the main. Anathema Device, who was about as close to being Agnes

as genetic drift would allow, was the best of the bunch. But none of

them had been angels.

Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three

impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he

was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Two of these

were wrong; Heaven is not in England, whatever certain poets may

have thought, and angels are sexless unless they really want to make

an effort. But he was intelligent. And it was an angelic intelligence

which, while not being particularly higher than human intelligence,

is much broader and has the advantage of having thousands of years

of practice.

Aziraphale was the first angel ever to own a computer. It was a

cheap, slow, plasticky one, much touted as ideal for the small businessman.

Aziraphale used it religiously for doing his accounts, which

were so scrupulously accurate that the tax authorities had inspected

him five times in the deep belief that he was getting away with murder somewhere.

But these other calculations were of a kind no computer could

ever do. Sometimes he would scribble something on a sheet of paper
by his side. It was covered in symbols which only eight other people

in the world would have been able to comprehend; two of them had

won Nobel prizes, and one of the other six dribbled a lot and wasn’t

allowed anything sharp because of what he might do with it.

neil-gaiman

balanchina asked:

Hi Neil -

I recently found out that I’m going to be a parent (you’re actually the first person I’ve told besides my spouse and my doctor), and I’m kind of freaking out. Do you have any advise for all the scary and daunting things that are suddenly very very real?


Thanks!

Congratulations! Probably you’re, deep down, surprised that the instruction manual on being an adult still hasn’t arrived, and the one on being a parent doesn’t exist. Everyone out there is making it up as they go along. This isn’t a bad thing, but it’s a thing.

First of all, remember: You survive it all, even the awful lack of sleep at the beginning. And, somehow, you look back on it all fondly. Stop and notice what’s happening, and stop and notice the bits you enjoy and the bits you don’t, and never forget to smell the baby whenever possible. New baby smell is the best.

Secondly, write things down. You think you’ll remember everything, and you don’t. It changes so fast – a newborn baby becomes an infant becomes a toddler becomes a schoolchild and you look away and they are graduating and now you blink and they’re getting married… it happens and happens at that speed. (The minutes drag, the decades race away.)

neil-gaiman

flashbastard113 asked:

Hi mr Gaiman, since you told us the hierarchy of angels. Could you please tell us how is it in hell as well?

Nightmarishly stratified. Everyone is below or above someone else and is miserable about it. Satan’s on the top of the heap but does no Day to Day Management. That’s Beelzebub. There’s something called the Dark Council, there’s the Dukes of Hell, and it goes down from there.

neil-gaiman

tyrograph asked:

I saw the post about the last time you saw Terry being when you recorded your audiobook cameo (https:// fuckyeahgoodomens.tumblr.com/post/671445337228066816/you-can-listen-to-terry-and-neils) and i feel so sad. Was that recording made during his illness? Or did you just not see each other irl very often? I know you were close friends, and while I do know that you led very different lives, I guess ... I don't know, i pictured you among those often at his side during his decline? Anyway I just wanted to say that, while I do love the new bbc cast recording audiobook, I will always prefer the original in no small part because you and Terry are in it. And that I am so so so sorry that the last time you saw your friend that it was at work instead of, I don't know, at a long boozy late lunch. I'm sorry you didn't get to shake his hand again before the Black Sands.

GNU Sir Terry, and thank you again Neil.

Remember, I lived in the US and he lived in the UK.

It was at work, but the work took five minutes with us sitting in the front seat of a car, with me reading the script and Terry echoing me. The rest of the time together that day was talking and catching up. Terry was deep in Alzheimer’s then but he came out of it as we talked.

That was during the summer of 2014. The next time I was going to see him, a few months later, he’d just entered what turned out to be his final coma and I was asked not to go. Better to remember him talking and awake. The coma lasted for several months, and then he left us.

neil-gaiman

raggedyphrog asked:

hey mr gaiman!!

i *just* got a copy of good omens to call my own, what would you say if i filled the insides with sticky notes and annotations in pencil (the annotations are in pencil, not the sticky notes, just clarifying)? also, just curious, sorry if someone’s already asked this, but was it you, terry, or someone else who came up with the name “good omens”?

merry christmas (in advance if i’m sending this too early) and have a nice weekend :)

I think the best thing about owning a book is that you then do whatever you want to it!

I came up with Good Omens, and Terry came up with The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch as the subtitle (it was his suggested title and we compromised).