No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.

lloke asked:

Please tell me a fake Bible story.

One of my favorite stories (it was an important part of my childhood, but it’s older than I am now) is an ancient Mesopotamian folk tale. Some details are vague, some may be invented; the gist is this:

There once was a family (possibly with other children, I’m not sure) of orphans. For some reason or other, their parents passed them to an old family friend named King Nabonidus. Since these kids were young and had no money, the king decided to give them a job:

They had to gather sand from the desert outside his city of Babylon, grind it into a fine dust, and then mix that dust into the king’s food to make it look appealing. This wasn’t difficult, since the kids were used to eating sand.

The food tasted like shit, and Nabonidus’ advisors said it was disgusting. The king thought they were being unreasonable, and the kids were happy to do this job again, so again they went off to the desert.

(I’m not sure if the kids ever went back home after that, or how many times this happened over the next few years.)

culverton asked:

99% sure u noticed this but u know how after John's speech in front of Sherlock's grave he does a military turn (idk the proper term for it) and continues marching? It always breaks my heart because John was just thrown back into his traumatic war days which he managed to escape after meeting Sherlock. Today I realized its a part that whole "off to battle" thing, JOHN IS GOING TO BATTLE BECAUSE LIFE WITHOUT SHERLOCK IS LIKE A WAR, its just him against the world without Sherlock by his side.

inevitably-johnlocked answered:

Hey, now. This wasn’t necessary. Why do y’all hurt me so?

Seriously, though, it’s the little nod that gets me every time; John faces Sherlock’s death like a soldier, his comrade in arms has fallen.

Watching this always brings me forward to this line by Sholto in TSo3:

SHOLTO: There’s a proper time to die, isn’t there?
SHERLOCK: Of course there is.
SHOLTO: And one should embrace it when it comes – like a soldier.

Now watch that scene with this in mind and with the realization that John was worried about the press in TRF because he’s seen it happen before; and imagine that John has heard this advice before from Sholto.

John is embracing Sherlock’s death like a soldier.

You’re welcome, all.

inevitably-johnlocked

pilgrimchild said: that’s actually the proper military response to a dismissal by a superior officer. the nod and turn. he’s been dismissed. by sherlock.

Wow hey ouch. And then even Sherlock references in TSo3 that he himself was John’s previous commander:

SHERLOCK: Your previous commander, Sholto.
JOHN: “Previous commander.”
SHERLOCK (briefly closing his eyes awkwardly): I meant “ex.”
JOHN: “Previous” suggests that I currently have a commander.
SHERLOCK: Which you don’t.

Already in S3 they’re starting to link all the seasons together. Frig, this hurts.

Oh, and just a mention: John does the hand clench as he walks away.

You’re welcome.

ilovesubtext

Yes, I was going to say the same thing, @pilgrimchild that’s definitely how you take leave of your commander…previous commander applies here, too, because Sherlock is dead.

beneguinsophiebatch

You like me dying, right?

inevitably-johnlocked

xistentialangst: This breaks my heart.

itsallblogtome: Yes yes to all this ^^

The first time I saw this scene it was my impression that John doesn’t feel he can cope at the graveside without going into soldier-mode; the only way he can have this important (one-sided) conversation, and to say a proper goodbye is to bear it as a soldier. To do so without that ‘armour’, he would crumple and break :’(

keagan-ashleigh

Ok this whole thread hurt my heart I feel so offended I’m gonna sue. ;_;

Also see how he swallows as he nods. Argh. :__:

I agree with you, soldier mode was his way to cope. John gives Sherlock his farewell here and he does it the best way he knows how.
Plus there is the fact that Sherlock gave back to John a life where he was a soldier, that’s what makes him feel plenty, and useful, Sherlock gave him back the battlefield as Mycroft says (that’s more the feeling of having a purpose in life that matters here); Sherlock put an end to the period when John felt useless and aimless, because all the things being a soldier had give him in terms of self-fulfilment had been taken away by trauma and the come back to civilian life. So it’s logical that he would give Sherlock a soldiery farewell, not only it’s his way to deal with hurtful things but also it’s something he knows has been taken away, there will be no more battlefields (no more reasons to be a soldier), and let me wrap my son in a warm hug because his suffering is visible and breaks my heart.

And I think Sherlock maybe knows about the nod meaning, that’s not a knowledge out of his reach, so he understands what John is telling, and he too needs a warm hug. And about the “ex commander” line let’s imagine that Sherlock knows John saluted him as his commander and that way stated Sherlock as his commander hence why Sherlock seems to refer to himself as such.

inevitably-johnlocked

superwholockian516: I also feel like in this seen I see the ghost of his limp when he walks away

@keagan-ashleigh: THANK YOU for your lovely addition. And I agree; someone with such interest in the military as Sherlock (ie. a kink) he would know exactly what John is doing. John is always the soldier, and he faces death, like a soldier. No wonder it took John so long to get over Sherlock… because not only did he love Sherlock, but he also lost his commander…. Again.

@superwholockian516 I see it too. He also has it a little bit in TEH. :(

keagan-ashleigh

Ah ah, yeah, the military kink is what came to my mind! Plus all that happens to be related to John interests him, so I really do believe he made a great deal of knowing this kind of facts.

Yes, yes yes, it reminds me a thing I wrote about the “there is nothing new under the sun” thing (here), where I said that for what we see John’s story is repeating itself, “there is nothing new under the sun”, what we saw here happened twice, once with Sholto and the trauma from war + come back to civilian life and the second with Sherlock and his death, with some changes, twice he lost everything that mattered to him - and it nearly happened a third time.
The second is such an echo of the first, it can help us understand what happened to John before he met Sherlock, btw, I think that’s done on purpose for us to recollect the pieces to understand John’s story.
That’s not to be forgotten, and it makes the pain twice as intense. x) But the good thing is that things are going to change for John, the story wont repeat itself endlessly.

Once we saw all of this (and with some of the other bits about John’s grieving that we didn’t talked about in this thread), we can see as clearly as possible how John was feeling there, he may look “normally” sad given the circumstances but it’s obvious right there he is broken deep down, and Sherlock undoubtedly understood it (at least partly).
I remember I said before that Sherlock must have realised in this moment that John actually cared about him. (that was in an old post here, that was my first meta, so to speak :3 ) When he says later “I never knew you cared”, in the bombed train, he is absolutely serious, he just covered it with sarcasm, that’s his way to conceal his feelings, he uses jokes and sarcasm, but it’s to be taken seriously.
When he chose to disappear, he believed John would go through it without much damage, but at the graveyard he saw John’s pain, even more clearly than at the rooftop, and he understood how he misjudged John’s affection for him, he realised he made a mistake, that he hurt John more deeply than he thought. In the train he isn’t just saying “before this exact instant I didn’t knew you cared”, but “when I left, back then, I didn’t knew. But now I do.”

So in this scene, John is incredibly in pain, and Sherlock realises he is indulging it. And, I also talked about it here, that’s probably why he lets John beat him in TEH at the restaurant without even trying to defend himself, the guilt he feels may be as massive as John’s pain.

So, to recap: John is broken, damaged, in pain, in this scene, and Sherlock can see it, he sees it and believe it is his fault - as least as much as he knows it is Moriarty’s fault. Both are so hurt, it makes trf and the post-reichenbach so deeply painful to see. No, indeed that’s not the fall that kills you but the landing, the realisation of the fall’s consequences.

netvital

this just hurt too much, thanks

breathingisboring221

Can we not dissect things till the point of my own suffering

fleurdelis221b

Tagged for: angst, pining, military kink.

martinfreemanismyaesthetic

Mmmmm…Fresh bucket of suffering!

Sure, pour it over my head!

dduane

…Just as an addendum to the discussion well upthread: the former RAF guy upstairs (@petermorwood) tells me that the turn would probably simply be referred to as a “turn from attention”.

I said to him, “Why this at that moment? Is there an implication that he considers Sherlock as sort of a senior officer, a commander?” “Might be,” himself said. And then paused and said: “But when you’re grieving like that… sometimes you fall back on behaving ‘by the book.’ It spares you having to think too hard about what you’re doing. And why.”

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.