I'm DYING
'its not realistic for two characters to talk in the middle of a sword fight' cool I wrote it anyways because it fucks severely
morallydiseased
viridescent-vinca
Hey, have you ever fenced before? No? Then shut the fuck up, you wouldn’t know! Ask a fencer!
I'm gonna write six more mid-spar arguments to personallly piss you and only you off
morallydiseased
viridescent-vinca
I get that being frozen for 100 years is a tough thing to go through but honestly Aang should have used it for comedy more
Katara: wow so this is Omashu
Aang: back in my day it was called weed city
Sokka: I’m… pretty sure it wasn’t
Aang: that’s what the fire nation wants you to think
Bumi, the second they arrive: welcome to weed city
Sokka: what the fuck
can we get this post to 420,000 notes
morallydiseased
viridescent-vinca
For reasons that are very innocent, my 60 year old dad made a Twitter account with "daddy" in the handle and I truly don't know how to handle this. I ventured to mom that perhaps the name was...funny and she gave me Such a Look, and said, "don't tell him" and I was like, "YEAH FUCKING OBVIOUSLY MOM I AM NOT GOING TO TELL MY DAD ABOUT DADDY CULTURE," and she was like, "yeah me neither," and I said, "look if someone's going to it has to be you, you're married to him," and then I paused and thought, "are we the perverts? perverts who have forgotten the true meaning of daddy?" and she sighed and said, "the problem is that ever since he grew the beard he really is a hot daddy" and now I can't talk to either of my parents ever again because mom told me too much about his apparently amazingly strong biceps
YEAH MUH BOY THAT IS THE NIGHTMARE SCENARIO
I worked with a doctor who was the “father of emergency medicine” in my town so his twitter handle was
EMO_daddy
OH NO
randomitemdrop
probablybadrpgideas
Make your spellbook more memorable by having it be an ugly little man who follows you around yelling spell lists.
Item: Spellbert, a rowdy Homunculus used by illiterate spellcasters in place of spellbooks
bunjywunjy
compassionatereminders
Self-care Cheat Sheet - a guide for people who can’t do exactly what they’re supposed to
Exercise:
- If you can, go to the gym or go for a run or a bike ride. I know you don’t feel like it, but you’ll feel better afterwards both physically and mentally.
- If you can’t go to the gym, exercise in your room. Maybe follow a simple Youtube video or do some exercises you know well with whatever tools you have - and if that’s all too hard, simply move a bit to some of your favorite songs for a while.
- If you can’t go for a run, go for a walk. Take your headphones on and listen to music or a podcast while walking to make it less boring, or maybe bring one of your friends! It doesn’t have to be a long walk. Even if you’re only outside for 10 minutes the fresh air and movement will do you good and clear your mind.
- If you can’t go for a walk or exercise otherwise, stand up and do some stretches and walk around your room for a little while. Your body will appreciate a break from sitting at your desk or lying in your bed even if it’s a short one.
- If you can’t move that much, just open your window and enjoy some fresh air.
Personal hygiene:
If you can take a shower (even though it’s hard!), do it. You will feel so much better when your hair is not greasy and when you aren’t smelly and sweaty. If you can force the energy, it will be worth the effort.
If you can’t do a full shower routine, simply step into the shower and wash your crotch, ass and armpits. Forget about your hair and forget about shaving. Just quickly wash the most smelly parts. You’ll feel a lot better afterwards.
If you can’t take a shower, wipe your crotch, ass and armpits with wet wipes and then apply deodorant and dry shampoo. It’ll take the worst of the smell and will make you look and feel significantly cleaner.
If you can’t clean yourself at all, at least change out of your dirty clothes and put something comfortable and clean on. It’ll help you feel better.
Dental hygiene:
If you can, brush your teeth for 2 minutes twice a day. I know it’s hard to find the energy and the motivation, but you need to do everything in your power to take care of your teeth. They won’t care whether you have a good reason not to brush them and dental care is often expensive.
Doing it once a day is not a failure and is still a whole lot better than not brushing them! But if you struggle to brush as often as recommended, I recommend investing in an electric toothbrush to make each brushing more effective.
If you can’t brush your teeth for two minutes, brush them for 1 minute or 30 seconds. A short brushing is also still a lot better than nothing!
If you don’t like tooth paste, brushing your teeth without it is still better than not brushing them.
If you don’t like the texture of the tooth brush, look into tooth brushes for kids or surgical tooth brushes which are a lot softer.
If you can’t brush your teeth at all, use a wet wash cloth whenever you can to gently wipe the worst plague build up off your teeth.
If you can’t do that, invest in some mouth wash and gurgle it once a day or buy some of the gum which helps cleaning your teeth and keeping your breath fresh.
If you currently don’t have the energy to do anything for your teeth, at least try to limit your soda and sugar intake so that your lack of brushing won’t be too dangerous.
Eating:
If you can, cook a proper meal. Your body will appreciate you for providing it with the energy it needs to function optimally. If cooking is boring, put on a podcast, a show or some music - or maybe call or invite a friend.
If you can’t cook and you can afford it, order some takeaway. It may feel like a waste of money, but feeding yourself is never a waste and you will feel better once your body gets some nutrients. It doesn’t even have to be the healthiest option. Any food is better than no food.
If you can’t cook or order takeaway, make something very simple. A boring sandwich or instant noodles or a toast will provide you with some energy even if it isn’t that fun or enjoyable to eat.
If you can’t make a sandwich, just eat some bread or some deli meats or maybe some fruit or vegetables separately. You don’t have to actually make the sandwich in order for the meal to count.
If you can’t make a sandwich, eat whatever you have. An apple is better than nothing. A couple slices of cheese are better than nothing. An old chocolate bar is still a lot better than nothing. A dry slice of bread isn’t fun to eat but it is STILL better than nothing. So is a bag of chips.
If you can’t make yourself eat just anything, eat whatever you have (or are able of acquiring and capable of eating). Yes, even if it’s chocolate or ice cream or chips. It’s good to eat healthy when you can, but when it’s a question between not eating at all or eating something unhealthy, unhealthy food always beats an empty stomach. Yes, even if it’s the same things you ate yesterday and the day before.
If you consistently struggle to get enough food down, look into meal replacement shakes/bars and dietary supplements of various kinds. Maybe get some blood work done by your doctor to see what vitamins your diet might be lacking.
(If you have a friend, a partner or a family member who you know likes cooking or who you know has a lot of money don’t be afraid to ask them for help. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind bringing you some leftovers, cooking for you or borrowing you some money for something you’d actually be able to eat if you’re out of other options.)
Sleeping:
If you’re tired and you can, go to bed. Especially if it’s late. Especially if you’re feeling particularly unwell. You cannot function optimally if you do not get a decent amount of sleep, so instead of staying up all night feeling shitty about yourself, put your phone down and get some rest.
If you can’t go to bed, have a nap. Set a timer for when you need to get back on track and allow yourself some rest. You do not have to power through the whole day just because you technically could. It’s okay to take 20 minutes or two hours to catch up on sleep if you’re feeling exhausted, especially if you didn’t get enough sleep last night.
If you can’t sleep at all, just lie down and close your eyes and rest for as long as you can. Studies have shown that even if you don’t sleep, lying down and letting your body and brain rest for a while helps you a lot. If it’s too boring, put on a podcast or music or something. But lie down. Close your eyes. Allow yourself to do nothing.
If you can’t sleep at all for several days, see a doctor and look into options for medical treatment. Sleep is important and if you consistently can’t get any, you need to act on it and try out various treatment options.
Socializing and connecting:
If you can, invite a friend, a partner, a family member, an acquaintance or anyone you like over. Have a nice talk with them or simply do something together. You may feel like isolating yourself is easier, but us humans are social beings and most of us need regular social interaction to thrive. (Maybe ask for a hug if you want one, physical contact can help a lot on your mood!)
If you live with someone, spend some time with them. Even if they’re not your favorite person and you’re not that close, having a conversation about something superficial is still a lot better than having no conversations. Who knows - maybe they can actually be pretty good company if you take the time to talk to them for more than two minutes! If talking is too hard, maybe ask them to play a game or watch a movie with you - or simply spend some time in the same room as them while doing your separate things. (Obviously you can disregard this tip if you live with toxic or abusive people!)
If you live alone and can’t get anyone to come over right now, give someone a call. Video chat if phone calls make you too anxious.
If that is too much, send someone you care about a text/message. Ask them what they’re doing. Tell them that you miss them. While talking to someone online or through texts isn’t exactly the same as actually talking to them, it will still help remind you that you aren’t alone and that there’s people who care about you.
If you don’t know who to text and don’t have a lot of friends, look into what opportunities you have for meeting new people. Maybe there’s a discord server for people who you have something important in common with. Maybe there’s a support group for people with the same mental or physical health issues as you nearby. Maybe you can find some lessons or meet ups for people who share your interests. Look into it.
If you need to talk to someone, anyone, don’t be afraid to reach out. Call that help line. Text that person you miss. Send an ask or a DM to that tumblr blogger you like. I promise you that even if you aren’t close to a lot of people right now, someone will be willing to listen and care. You just have to reach out.
(If you have a pet, cuddle it and play with it! Physical affection is physical affection regardless of whether it’s coming from a human or a dog. Friendship is still friendship if the two beings sharing it aren’t from the same species!)
compassionatereminders
Just because something won’t magically cure your mental illness doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth your time.
No, getting enough sleep, exercising, drinking enough water, eating regularly, socializing, practicing your hobbies and keeping yourself and your environment clean won’t magically make you neurotypical. That’s true.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bother.
That doesn’t mean that you won’t feel significantly better when you get 8 hours of sleep instead of 3 and eat three meals a day instead of one.
That doesn’t mean that you won’t be more at peace after finally taking that shower or doing the dishes for the first time in ages.
That doesn’t mean that sitting down and making that drawing or writing that chapter or forcing yourself to open up to a friend won’t be worth it.
That doesn’t mean that going on that run or cleaning your apartment won’t make you feel better and more accomplished.
So please don’t dismiss the value of self care just because it won’t cure you.
Mental illnesses are complex, real and serious and there’s no magic quick fix to any of them… But giving up and neglecting your self care completely to wallow in misery and hopelessness definitely won’t cure you either - and it will make things significantly worse than they could be if you didn’t dismiss the value and importance of working on improving your life little by little in whatever ways you can.
I’m definitely not saying it’s easy to make and maintain positive changes and there will be times where you can’t do any of the things listed above - and that’s okay! But even if it won’t cure you, even if you’ll still be very sick no matter what you do, even if you can only take the smallest of baby steps, I still promise you that practicing self care as often as possible WILL improve your quality of life.
arcticflakes
