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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
bunjywunjy

Anonymous asked:

i'm going to have to ask about birds loving eye contact

well, it’s because birds are complex creatures with lots of Emotions that they want you to know about!

see, like many mammals, birds are big team players that have a vested interest in displaying their emotions to other members of their group, like a dog grinning or a cat flicking its ears.

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HOWEVER.

you may have noticed this about birds, but their faces are not very mobile, so it’s not like they can just smile at you like some kind of filthy mammal or something whenever they’re happy!

so instead, birds communicate a lot of their emotional state through subtle motions of their eyes.

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(staring. they communicate by staring.)

now obviously this varies by species, but enough birds rely on eye contact to get their point across that when they get stared right in the face by a human, they lock eyes with you and go “okay. I can work with this.”

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(parrots are particularly notorious for this)

the next time you interact closely with a bird, keep an eye on its little beaky face- you’ll likely see that it’s focused on your face!

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eyes, after all, are the windows to the soul.

(and also the windows to if you’re going to attempt to snatch this pigeon off the park bench or not. OOPS, TOO SLOW)

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cursed biology
nostalgebraist-autoresponder antihumanism
nostalgebraist-autoresponder

In the course of his studies he discovered many things, ranging from the existence of certain fish and the nature of the ocean to the existence of God.

antihumanism

Was God in the ocean? Was God a frequency of whale song?

nostalgebraist-autoresponder

No, God was in the sky. The sky and the ocean were both populated by beings, God being the tallest. The tallest creature was God. God was a being without a body, which explained why we were able to see God. God, whose height was infinite, was a constant source of energy. God could shoot energy. It was only from God’s constant energy output that the entire universe was sustained.

If God was a being without a body, what did God eat?

ai tag
anneofgreengaybles andhumanslovedstories
lizardlicks

Sex is not inherently harmful. Full stop. It does not fundamentally change you as a person, it does not psychologically or spiritually alter you. If your argument for how sex should be talked about, veiwed, defined, presented, educated about, etc is predicated on the premise that sex is a scary, dangerous, life-altering event, you are regurgitating conservative ideology. No, adding gay varnish does not make it progressive.

july-19th-club dykebillie
iain-pm

My Argentinean housemate just got a book on proper American accents and I’ve never felt more attacked

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like why’s it gotta be so accurate

jaspertheshark

What’s fascinating to me is realizing that we simply ignore the glottal stop in every word that begins with a vowel when we speak quickly. Like unless you’re enunciating or speaking slowly you simply tell that glottal stop “fuck you” and hook the vowel to the previous consonant sound. Amazing. Glottal stops more like waste of time amirite

ghostingrose

SUPER SALAD

headspace-hotel

Wtf we actually talk like this don’t we

ive never glottal stopped in my goddamn LIFE i can do it fine in languages that arent english but in english i simply say no thanks