1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
apple-duty theequeerstrian
gnomes-official

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Hangin with my Gnomies!

maya-kitajima

#woah loving the blasphemous vibes from thos hats

hey pun what the FUCK does that mean

the-punforgiven

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Blasphemous vibes

maya-kitajima

Pun I thought you mean blasphemous in the biblical sense and nearly flipped my goddamn lid trying to decipher what about gnome hats was an affront against god

the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99

Gnomes are, themselves, an affront against god

bluering8 agatharights
amarguerite

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Love Oglaf. 

sindri42

A comic that started out trying to be porn has no business being this clever and funny all the time.

pun-ishment888

….what

sindri42

Yeah Oglaf started out as an attempt to do porn. It still has enough casual nudity and sex jokes that at least ¾ strips are nsfw, but mostly they’re just being hilarious. So you go from this:

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To this:

Keep reading

the-spud-player

Isn’t this the same person who did the king and Daedalus with the labrynth comic?

sindri42

It absolutely is.

also this meme:

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(Followup is nsfw: 1, 2)

oglaf comic rec my favourite thing about oglaf is that its sense of humour is like... completely batshit and unpredictable yet makes perfect sense there is always a sensical progression between the first and last panels but i would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS guess where it was going to go please read oglaf if you are a grown-up. if you are not a grown-up please wait to be a grown-up then go read oglaf.
pharmdup

RATTLESNAKE BITES

Things that I learned at work this year: a compilation of multiple patient cases

  1. If you live in an area without a lot of rainfall and you get a big storm that lasts nearly 24 hours, maybe don’t stand in the sagebrush at night while talking to your neighbors.
  2. Rattlesnakes apparently feel harassed and crabby when they’re soggy and their hidey-holes are flooded.
  3. They don’t always rattle to give any warning at all before striking. You’ll just be standing there gossiping about what Cheryl said about Kathy and THUNK! snake on your calf.
  4. A snake that doesn’t bother with a warning rattle before biting can also be called a jerkwad, but probably not in the progress note unless you’re within 5 years of retirement.
  5. Rattlesnakes can bite through denim jeans.
  6. Sometimes rattlesnakes realize it’s not your fault, rain is rain, and maybe they regret the attack because they don’t always actually inject venom. This is called a dry bite.
  7. There are many reasons why a snake might do a dry bite, but the most hilarious one is definitely premature ejaculation (of venom).
  8. Premature ejaculation is more likely with younger snakes, just like with younger adult humans.
  9. You’ve often gotta assume there’s venom, but sometimes after half of your hospital’s supply of CroFab has already infused, you realize there was probably nothing to treat.
  10. I like to think that snakes would feel smug to know we wasted resources just because we’re so scared of them.
pharmblr acute care: 20% of the drama is warranted snake cw snake rattlesnake
cosmictuesdays intosnarkness
intosnarkness

Me: If you and I are sitting on a couch together there is a 100% chance that I am longing to touch you. To gently put my head on your shoulder and you can play with my hair. To touch shoulders. To brush my hand against your leg. I ache for physical contact, and couches are my modern Tartarus, where I am locked forever in a war of needing contact and respecting boundaries.

Customs agent: I think we both know that’s not what I meant by declare.