No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.

noirandchocolate

Memo To: all dwarf officers

From: Corporal Littlebottom, Communications Officer

Look, the grease we’re painting on the tower under the pigeon loft is to stop gargoyles climbing up and eating the pigeons, all right? It is there for an official Watch purpose, is the point I’m making. If I catch another dwarf scraping it off and eating it, and I’m naming no names, but I’ve got my eye on one or two people, there is going to be serious trouble. How would you like it if you were in real trouble and you sent your pigeon off and there was a gargoyle waiting for it? You know it makes sense.

C. Littlebottom (Cpl.)

–Terry Pratchett and Stephen Briggs, “The Ankh-Morpork Archives

what-even-is-thiss

The English: This is our legendary King Arthur. His bravest knight is named Gawain who cut off a green giants head

The French: That’s cool, but what if his coolest knight was FRENCH and practiced INFIDELITY with the QUEEN

The English: That’s not…

The French: His name is Lancelot.

The English: Okay actually that name frickin rules. Proceed.

what-even-is-thiss

The English: Uh France what are you doing to our oc?

The French: Making the downfall of his kingdom come at the hands of Lancelot.

The English: The… French one?

The French: Yeah.

The English: Aight then.

what-even-is-thiss

Historians: Hey! Are you two making things up again?

The French and English: *quickly throw their Lancelot/Guinevere fanfics into a bush* No! Real historical figures! What are you talking about???

jaykmoon33

The idea of King Arthur being the equivalent to our modern day shows/anime is both a little insulting but also hilarious.

what-even-is-thiss

It is though. It’s the medieval equivalent of the MCU or Naruto.

anomalous-heretic

The stories of the Knight of the Round Table or Charlemagne’s Paladins were 100% just the medieval Justice League or Avengers.

donateliamitsuki

I was today’s years old when I learned Lancelot and King Arthur ain’t real????

what-even-is-thiss

lol no Arthur might have existed but if he did he was a native Briton warlord fighting the Anglo-Saxons that got so mythologized that within everything written about him whatever was originally true in the oral legends about him was lost and overly mythologized by the time a version of his story was first written down in the 500s. The time Arthur supposedly existed was probably around the 200s to 400s because some of his legends involve him or members of his court fighting the remains of the western Roman empire. Lancelot is just an invention by a French poet lol. Chretien de Troyes specifically. Also he was supposedly a lost French nobleman raised by a fairy that lives in a lake so yeah if you dig into the original written legends for more than like ten lines using modern logic you can figure out that they’re not based on real people. Most people don’t read the original source material though so I don’t blame you for not knowing. I think the original poems and compilations are fascinating but I also have a special interest in old literature and studied it in college and know that most people like to read stuff written after 1890 when literature actually Became Good.

jenniferrpovey

Arthuriana has always been reenvisioned. It’s all fanfic. Write your own!

aqueerkettleofish

The most historically accurate version of the Arthurian Legends was done by Monty Python.

Not a punchline.

definite-human

@prokopetz on this issue:

cloverandcrossbones

Also there’s strong evidence that Arthur was originally Welsh. Arthurian legends are like a multi-country collab project over the course of centuries

petermorwood

That description of Sir Kay sounds awfully like a Cuchullain-style warp spasm, so maybe just maybe you can add some Irish ingredients to the Arthurian pot.

@dduane and I have both written stories for shared-world anthologies (”Thieves’ World” etc.) and The Tales of King Arthur sound like a very, very similar creative process. :->

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.