No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.

Anonymous asked:

not asking you to endorse any companies or brands, but like... if i'm buying condoms, what should i look for/avoid? or are they all pretty much the same

ficsex answered:

Buying condoms!

Avoid anything that says “cooling” or “warming” or “special tingly sensation” - they all have chemicals that some people find exciting, and other people find extremely uncomfortable inside of an orifice.

It is possible that someone with a vagina will have problems with condoms that contain nonoxynol-9, a spermicide. It’s an extremely common thing - almost any condom that says that it has spermicidal lubricant will be using that. It’s not the same as the chemicals above, where you’ll instantly be like “ooch! ouch! my junk!” but for years, I got a yeast infection every time I had sex with a condom, and it turned out that was why. So if you don’t have experience either way, it might not matter, but keep that in mind!

Lubricated condoms are great, and so are unlubricated condoms. It just depends on how slippery you want / don’t want your fingers to get while applying the condom. You’ll want to add more (a drop or two) inside the condom either way, for comfort.

There are also some size differences. Most of the condoms that you’ll see on the shelf at CVS are all going to be pretty similar in size, and most people with penises will be able to use them comfortably. But if you have a larger or smaller than average penis, the condoms might not be comfortable!

Remember when your sex ed teacher stretched a condom over their wrist and down to their elbow (or, I have found out from some people, over the top half of a baseball bat) and said something like “if he says it doesn’t fit in here, either he’s lying, or you should run!” Well, it turns out that that’s not entirely helpful or accurate. Yes, it’s to push back against people who try and avoid using a condom, but a number of people do find average condoms uncomfortable!

If that’s the case, here is a variety pack you can order from online, to find a good large condom that fits and is comfortable.

Even if that’s not the case, if you have a penis and are trying to find the perfect condom for you, there are more generic variety packs that you might want to get.

Lastly, material matters. Condoms are usually made out of latex, but some amount of the population has a latex allergy. (Have you ever pulled off a bandaid to find an itchy bandage shaped red mark? you might be allergic to latex!) If that’s the case, or if you want to buy condoms that you can use with any partner without having to quiz them on their allergies, you might want to try one of these (The SKYN brand ones are great, imo).

But don’t let all of this scare you. Really, you can walk into the pharmacy and grab any ol’ box of condoms (that don’t say ‘warming’ or 'cooling’) and you’ll almost definitely be great. They are almost all the same, unless you have a specific need.

chris-wonder

If you have a dairy allergy use non latex condoms! Casein is used in most latex condoms to help hold them together. It’s not a fun experience. I also highly recommend SKYN. They don’t tear easily, are comfortable, and come lubricated and not lubricated. Make sure to still use water based lubricant tho!

ficsex

…what? seriously?

that’s BANANAS.

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.