No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.

Anonymous asked:

I work as an assistant at an emergency veterinary hospital and I made a really bad call the other day. We had a dog check in for a possible vaccine reaction..our CSRs sometimes defer to me on how to call a triage (stat vs it can wait until a technician is available), the owner said over the phone she had slight facial swelling but otherwise fine, no breathing issues vomiting etc. When asked what it should be called as I said an assessment as the pet was seemingly stable and it shouldn’t be long since no other pet was waiting to be seen. It took 30 minutes for a technician to go outside and when they did the client was no longer in our parking lot. I called the owner to ask if she had moved spots and she said she left, didn’t seem upset or anything I said oh is your pet doing better? And she said well no, she’s gone. In the moment I was stunned and the way she said it made it sound like her pet had died I didn’t know what to say or ask for clarification but I’m pretty sure that’s what she meant. At no point did she call us again or rush to the door saying her pet was in distress and I don’t really know why I didn’t just have someone bring the dog in immediately despite what the owner was saying. I feel so ashamed and incompetent and I’m dreading showing my face at work again. Is there anything at all one can do to move on from something like this? I’m so sick with dread I haven’t eaten anything in two days and I just keep replaying it all in my head and how things might have been different had she been brought in immediately.

Hi there vetling, mod @the-kazoo-kid here.

All of the vets and mods behind this blog have been struggling with how best to answer this, so our apologies for the delayed response.

To those of us outside the situation, this looks like a breakdown in communication that is not your fault. Presumably, at any point this woman could have called the clinic back with an update on the deteriorating condition of her pet. She could have knocked on the door or the window of the clinic to try and get someone’s attention. You even point this out yourself.

Instead, she took no action to communicate with you or other staff. You are not a mind reader. You do not have X ray vision with which to see through the car to asses the animal. You cannot see into the future to have predicted this event. This animal’s death is not on you.

The best advice that any of us can give you is to speak with a mental health professional. It sounds like you’ve had a really rough time after this specific incident, and we worry that your own personal mental and physical health have been adversely affected. Please go eat something, get some rest, and look for a professional to talk to if you don’t have one already. Here are some links to get you started. You can also try google searching “find a therapist” and/or “find a therapist, your location”

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.