I swear to god raspberries get moldy so fuckin fast you just look at them wrong and they immediately go bad
2 for 1 sale of raspberries at the grocery store:
first pack: downed as soon as you got home
second pack: you only ate four out the pack the next day because you were trying not to be as much of a goblin and you want them to last longer except when you check it later that day half of them are covered in mold
wow,,,,, that’s so valid
Warning: generalizations are used liberally below. Mentally preface all statements with “in general” and don’t yell at me. For purposes of definition, “standard” is meant only in terms of familiarity and the intent of the distinction is solely to indicate something a reader might find jarring if there’s no reaction to it written. While every preference is equal in value, some are more familiar than others, and some are familiar to almost everyone. That should affect the level of description of emotional reaction.
I’m a male who reads and writes fanfic. Why? Because when it comes to gay smut, women do it better than men. Male-consumed pornography is transaction-oriented (just the act) with “characters” that are completely objectified and without any narrative context (the pizza boy showing up does not count as “plot”.) Not helping is that porn stars are generally not actors, they are professional objects. In fanfic, there are characters to care about, sex that makes narrative sense (even in PWP!) and real artistry like that is rare in commercial porn. Some people prefer commercial visual porn, and that’s fine. But I find written scenes do more for me, and I’m betting the majority of people who are reading this feel the same way.
There are two points I want to make in this post:
1. What I mean by wrong: What’s wrong with sex in fanfic is that what you think is wrong in in fanfic sex is not wrong. There is nothing that you can write in fanfic that is wrong. What you choose to write is absolutely fine, no matter what it is. What is wrong is when authors are made to feel that certain things are required, when they should not be. There is nothing wrong with BDSM - quite the opposite - but BDSM is hotter if the author is aware he or she is writing it. If not, key emotional and physical reactions might be skipped over that take the reader out of the story.
2. There are a few anatomically questionable things that pop up a lot in fanfic. Things that I consider “wrong” are labelled with *** These are not terribly important, but if something anatomically questionable comes up, or something that is a fetish pops up constantly as “standard”, it can take a reader out of the moment. They are not strictly “wrong” because everyone is different and there may very well be people for who these things are very “right”. But in general, not, and so if they are included a writer might want to highlight emotional and physical reactions in these cases.
@ao3commentoftheday re: the ask about mlm smut
You know what’s a million times more exciting than a random plot twist that comes out of nowhere? A plot twist that was foreshadowed by things you didn’t realize were foreshadowing at first. Nothing makes me go absolutely bananas like the feeling of “oh FUCK…[seemingly unrelated thing] WAS FORESHADOWING”
A dream of mine is to write something where the entire plot is given away in the first chapter and no realizes it until we get to the resolution stage in the last chapter.
I believe you could do it!
You all need to read Terry Praaaatchett.
one of the most fucked up things about the internet is how it has given us so many new ways to self harm that we don’t even realize is self harm. it’s something i’ve seen getting addressed little by little recently, as it’s finally being recognized for what it is.
it’s the kind of addictive behaviour we engage in that doesn’t actually benefit us in any way, such as:
- Reading The Comments
- ruthless discourse that won’t accomplish anything
- checking up on people and topics you shouldn’t
- 90% of body image stuff
- constant stream of devastating news
and so on, and so on!!
there are suddenly far less barriers and boundaries between our hearts and the entire rest of the constant, churning world, and sometimes the only thing holding us back from pointless hurt is our own willpower. that’s not always gonna be enough.
we feel shame for turning off anon, for blocking those who hurt us without giving them a “fair chance” first, for leaving a discussion, for leaving a space, for going offline, for missing out. we keep martyring ourselves, and for what? our hearts are not made for this.
we’re still adapting to whatever internet culture is and does to us. remember to breathe and forgive yourself every once in a while.
small steps you can take to get out of cycles (or at least what helped me):
- take stock of just how much time, energy and emotion you pour into something that doesn’t give back, and find out what’s Gotta Go
- “i’m only going to check this thing ONCE a day”, then week, then month, but at that point you probably no longer have a strong compulsion to Check
- “i’m not going to check this upsetting thing right before bed, because it will just make it hard to sleep”
- “i’m not going to check this upsetting thing first thing in the morning, because it’ll ruin my whole day”
- forgive yourself if you fail!!!!! just breathe. take a walk
No gold star for suffering, folks
Ok, so I was sitting down to pick out the Good Omens theme song by ear today, and it is just a masterpiece. The orchestration, the contrasting themes, its indecision as to whether to be major or minor, the PERCUSSION, the way it builds as the world progresses to an ineffable end…
But here’s my favorite thing:
After the angelic B theme, the modulation back to the A theme goes UP A TRITONE, from the tonal center of A to Eb.
The tritone, the interval that occurs when you divide the Western musical octave equally in half, was historically believed to be called diabolus in musica or THE DEVIL IN MUSIC, and was avoided as much as possible up until the end of the Renaissance era as it was not considered consonant enough for liturgical use. Modern interpretations of the tritone tend toward representing the profane, evil, and/or sinister.*
I see you David Arnold, I see you
*edited to add a more nuanced historical background
(The moment in question happens at 1:27)
I like how the Good Omens theme from the soundtrack - the complete one - starts with a choir shouting a great big holy “waaaaaaaaaAUP!”.
The host shouting the Earth into existence!
And then it meanders along, and at the end it ends with holy (unholy?) laughter, and winds to a strange conclusion.
It’s the story of Earth!
Yesterday got a bit crazy, so I didn’t get to tell you all my latest GO story.
Context: I give free piano lessons to kids in my neighborhood on Saturday mornings. There’s a Catholic church that’s kind of the heart of the neighborhood. I’m not Catholic myself, but because they let me use their piano, I sometimes volunteer a bit there as well, helping stock the food-pantry or prep meals for the soup kitchen they run, that kind of thing. (It’s one way to beat the heat!) Anywho, I found myself sitting at a table slicing ridiculously large volumes of carrots and overhearing the conversation between Effie and Lupe. They’re both in their seventies, absolute dears in the “be kind but take no shit” mode. My kind of people.
Lupe apparently had seen GO and was telling Effie all about it, trying to sell her on it. If I understood correctly, Effie has always had a thing for librarians, which is simultaneously the funniest and sweetest hook for this series I’ve come across.
Anywho:
E- It sounds quite good, but I’m not still not sure. Doris was saying it makes good and evil out to be the same thing. All seems a bit too modern to me.
(NB: Doris has a good heart and all, but she most definitely has a priggish side. Don’t be like Doris, folks.)
L- That’s not it at all, though. Good’s good and evil’s evil, and God’s still God. It’s more that the angels aren’t always good, and the demons aren’t always bad. They’re like people that way.
E- (Looks pensive for a moment) That sounds like my Saul.
L- Mmmmm?
E- Well, you remember how people used to talk about the communists. How they were evil, ruthless really. All the same. But not my Saul.
L- But Saul worked for the bank. He was hardly a communist.
E- (*waves hand as if to dismiss this inconvenient fact*) But he was a Soviet, until he came over in ‘63.
L- And he wasn’t all bad?
E- Well, I wouldn’t go that far. But ruthless? Not him at all. The man couldn’t kill a fly.
L- Yes, like that. Right and wrong are still their own thing. Really, it’s like Fr. Javier was saying – God’s word is eternal and the rest of us sometimes get it right and sometimes get it wrong, even priests. Even popes, quite a lot of the time. You know they’re not infallible all day long.
E- I’ve been saying it for decades, they’ve been wrong about the pills and don’t know the half of the harm they’ve done on that count.
L- Just so. Why should heaven and hell get it right, either?
E- I’ve heard it’s all a bit… *E. waggles her hand from side to side*
L- Oh, that. They are, I think, or they could be if you want them to be. Like Richard and Carlos were, you remember. It’s private, somehow.
(NB: At this point, I am literally biting the inside of my cheek to keep from jumping in to their conversation, because Lupe is doing so well.)
L- And that Azie angel is quite a dish. Reminded me of your Saul, the way he’d look all forlorn when he wanted something from the kitchen. You’ll like it.
E- Well, I get enough of that from him. But if you’re so caught up in it, I just might give it a try.
…. At which point they moved on to talking about other people I have no clue who they were. I’m so proud of Lupe for being such a good fannish evangelist, and so proud of this show for making all kinds of waves.
ace-attorney-dms
