I came to bring back the— Oh, Lord.
“staying in is the new going out”
Amazon Prime Video US writing Ineffable Husbands fanfic in their Twitter ads.
Back On My Hellacious Bullshit
“Really, my dear, you needn’t be brash.”
Aziraphale was the only living-….sentient being on Earth today that could get away with the word ‘needn’t’ without a prescription. Crowley usually wasn’t quiet about his resentment thereof, but today he was. Because he would absolutely cop to the fact that he had been brash, and he would absolutely cop to the fact that it was ‘needn’t.’
“Fiiiiiiine,” he drawled, pouring another very large glass of 1961 Haut-Brion, very careful to not spill a single drop. He was a demon, he wasn’t wasteful. “Then you tell me. What is the point of saving the whole blessed Earth without a little bit of applause?”
Aziraphale did that thing with his lips and cheeks and eyes that made him look just a bit like a sugar glider, and then he was smiling softly.
“If you want applause, my dear, I can see what I can…rustle up.”
Crowley would never admit that his mouth went drier than an arid biome at that.
“Fuck off, Angel,” he finally growled, turning his entire face away, making sure his sunglasses were firmly in place.
“You wish,” cooed Aziraphale, cherubic smile gracing his lips.
someone’s crowley playlist has blasphemous rumours on it, and oh my GOD, wow
wow wow wow
So I don’t know why this hasn’t been done yet, but I need a fic (I might write a fic) where Crowley and Aziraphale get accidentally married
It’s perfect, you see. After the Apocawasn’t, Adam did a Lot of Things to the Universe. He changed reality. He fixed things that needed to be fixed. He fixed the Bentley, he fixed the bookshop, and well. He just sort of assumed that these random people who showed up that day were married.
He’s eleven and they acted married, so how was he supposed to know they hadn’t figured their shit out yet?
Anyway, a few weeks pass and Aziraphale and Crowley are in the bookshop, hanging out, drinking, etc, and while things are going good, their relationship has lasted maybe a day relative to their lives together. They’re not even living together yet!
And they notice a framed paper on the wall that they’ve never seen before. They take a closer look. It’s a ketubah.
It has their names on it. Their real names on it. And their signatures somehow.
Aziraphale and Crowley were accidentally married by the Antichrist and now have to figure out what to do without drawing further attention to themselves from Heaven and Hell, OR, even worse - taking things to the next step
I love Good Omens fic that’s like “one of them discorporates and even though it’s not permanent it’s very sad and dramatic :(” but please also consider a version where these two morons have been accidentally discorporating themselves and each other in increasingly ridiculous ways for the last 6000 years, for reasons up to and including “it was faster than getting rid of a cold naturally”
ok but that’s crowley having a midlife crisis
That’s not a midlife crisis. That’s a Tuesday in the 70’s.
This is their fusion.
Excuse me while I die of laughter
WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?! EXCUSE ME WHILE I DIE OF LAUGHTER.
pokemoniker