No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.

the-voice-of-night-vale

listen guys, i know we’re all love aziraphale. but blease. do not forget. that is a little bastard baby. aziraphale is not always a sweet uwu bean he is mean, cheeky, and callous

Am I the only one who wants Aziraphale to unexpectedly miracle when he’s startled?

Like, he’s at Crowley’s place, reading quietly, a plant beside him, and he’s stroking one of its leaves gently, and suddenly–

“What are you doing, angel– oh, no, look at that.”

“Oh, I am sorry. I… let me clean it up–”

“No. No, it’s fine.” But Crowley’s tone is exasperated. He should know better than to startle Aziraphale because something like this always happens:

The plant has sprouted fifteen tiny red flowers.

bettergroomedwings

Ok but Crowley is the reason Sherlock Holmes is so enduring.

No no, bear with me.

The first stories come out in The Strand. Crowley, newly woken from his near-century of sleep, reads them in Aziraphale’s copy, and really likes them. Aziraphale, who moves in literary circles, offers to introduce him to Doyle.

Crowley is very excited, and when they meet wrings Doyle’s hand and go on about how much he likes the stories.

Doyle, of course, is a rude bastard, and dismisses Crowley’s praise. He doesn’t like the character, he’s not interested in what people like Crowley think to him.

Crowley is initially tempted to destroy him, and ruin his career, but then realises he can get better revenge than that. He makes the popularity of the stories and books blow up. He puts them everywhere. He makes Sherlock Holmes the talk of London. He finances the backstreet presses printing spin-off stories.

And he keeps it going, firing up Holmes’ popularity until Doyle is driven out of his mind, believing in fairies and hating his own work. Until Arthur Conan Doyle is only ever remembered for Sherlock Holmes, and Crowley gets unending adaptations for himself.

bettergroomedwings