[crowleyandaziraphaleruinedme]

You know what?

where the fuck was the scene where Adam has a vine stuck in his head so the next morning when R.P Tyler is walking his dog, everyone who looks at him shouts “fuck ya chicken strips” at him.

This idea is hilarious and y'all can add more

[crowleyandaziraphaleruinedme]

Anathema, going to get groceries: hi do you have avacados?

Grocery store person: yes we have lots of fre shavacados

[repsille]

Crowley hurtling in the Bentley towards the M25 orbital motorway: Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope it does

—

Death every single time he collects a soul without fail: OH MY FUCKING GOD, SHE FUCKING DEAD

—

War, Famine, Pollution: Oh yeah, wait a minute mister postman

Lesley getting hit by the truck: eeeehhhehhh

—

Hastur trapped in the tape: To talk to a customer, please press 1.

—

Crowley: Sometimes I look up at the stars and wonder what it all means

Aziraphale looking up to see the words “wanna make out” in the stars: uhhh

—

Newton: Kiss one another?

Anathema: DIE FOR EACH OTHER

Newton: wtf???

[crowleyandaziraphaleruinedme]

Hold on I’m adding more:

Beyonce: bring the beat in

Crowley, running into the room: anything for you Beyonce

———–

Crowley: I should have left you on that Street corner where you were standing

Aziraphale: buT YOU DIDN’T

———-

Adam and the them: fighting off the horsemen and averting the apocalypse

Crowley and Aziraphale: can we get a waffle? Can we please get a waffle?

———–

Wensleydale: ahh I could have dropped my croissant

————-

Crowley: hi I’m Anthony Crowley and I’m your freestyle dance teacher

————-

Newt: you know what I’m gonna say it

Someone: go ahead say it

Newt: I don’t care that you broke your elbow

[the-source-will-flow]

Gabriel, after 10 millions of angels are ready to start the war: look at all those chickens

[rulerofthelimbo]

—

A nightingale, singing in the distance: “two bros, dining at the Ritz, five feet apart cuz they’re not gay”

—

Aziraphale: “Crowley, is that a weed?”

Crowley: “No, this is a crayon.”

Aziraphale: “I’m calling the police!”

Bentley’s radio: “911, what’s your emergency?”

—

Crowley, by Aziraphale’s side: uhmmm, you can’t sit with us.

Hastur: AcTuAlLy, Crowley, I can’t sit anywhere. I have ~hemorrhoids~

—

Crowley: “I saw you hangin out with wit Aziraphale yesterday!”

Hastur: “Crowley, it’s not what you think!”

Crowley, pointing a holly water spray bottle: “I won’t hesitate, bitch!”

—

Crowley: “On all levels, including physical, I am a serpent.”

Crowley: *hisses to the horizon*

—

Anathema: *does witchcraft with smoke*

Newt, turning to the camera: “Wow.”

—

Adam: “So basically, what I’m going to to is destroy the world…”

The Them: *punch Adam in the head*

Adam: “Oh, fuck. I can’t believe you’ve done this.”

—

Anathema: *does more witchcraft with smoke*

Adam: *blows the smoke off*

Anathema, shocked: “Adam!”

—

Crowley: “People are constantly asking me what it’s like to be a sexy–”

Crowley: *trips over the desk*

—

Satan: “What?”

Adam: “You’re not my dad! You always want to hear something ugly ass!”

—

Aziraphale and Crowley: “ “Oh, if I had wings like this dove, I would fly away and be at rest.”

Dove: *drops dead*

[loveisineffable]

I hope no one minds I did some

Aziraphale: *getting into a washing machine* I am disgusted, I am revolted, I dedicate my entire life to our lord and savior Jesus Christ and this is the thanks I get?

Archangel Gabriel: that’s it your grounded, get on top of the fridge Aziraphale: this house is a fucking nightmare!

Crowley: God can I just have one good day God: ugh you again? give it a rest buddy!

Crowley talking to Hastur: let’s tell each other a secret about ourselves, I’m gonna go first. I hate you

Agnes Nutter: honey you’ve got a big storm comin

Adam: I am the sand guardian, guardian of the san. The them: Poseidon quivers before him! Adam: fuck off!

[thatoneumbrella]

Crowley: Hey, DUCK! You’re no good, duck! You’ll never be shit! You’re just—like—ya father

Aziraphale: really, my dear

—

Aziraphale: you go too fast for me, Crowley

Crowley, still pining after 6,000 years: So no head? Chucks cellphone onto pavement; stomps

—

Aziraphale: gives away his sword (as if it were a frisbee)

Crowley: what the FUCK, Aziraphale

—

Newt: wHeN liFE giVeS yOu LEmonS

i CANNOT

[whimsicots]

good omens as vines but You Play Them in Your Head

[crowleyandaziraphaleruinedme]

Yes

[sleepingreader]

Aziraphale: I have 69 cents!

Crowley: oh you know what that means ;)

Aziraphale: I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR CHICKEN NUGGETS

[alt-cub]

Crowley: GeT Yo DOg biTch

Adam: it don’t bite

Aziraphale: YEs IT DO BiTch

[verz-z]

Crowley: *presenting the m25 orbital motorway plans to hell* look at this graph

-

Someone: *entering A.Z. Fell & Co.*

Aziraphale: Hi welcome to Chili’s

-

Crowley: *returning to his plants with an empty pot, throws it* this bitch empty YEET

-

I added some yeeeee

[sleepingreader]

Crowley, singing sadly: a potAto flew around my rOOm before you came

[wise-angel]

Gabriel: I wanna church girl that go to church. aNd ReAd HeR bIbLe

-

Newt at Anathema: I think I know more about computers than you do genius.

-

Crowley driving through the fire: I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me

Usually when I finish a good sci-fi book, I feel satisfied and good. I feel happy. I enjoyed the story, I like thinking about the future, I enjoy the world that was conjured up, and I go away whistling.

I finished Becky Chambers’ “record of a spaceborn few” and I hugged my kid and was proud of my species and melancholy for a time that, please God, will never exist.

Becky Chambers is really something.

25 And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying ‘Where is the flaming sword that was given unto thee?’

26 And the Angel said, ‘I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down somewhere, forget my own head next.’

27 And the Lord did not ask him again.

Good Omens (Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett)

[slimeysnailfriends]

you know i might just get an algae scrubber. not for algae but to scrape pests like the little tentacled demons off the glass. being a snail owner makes you innovative since everything aquarium is geared toward fish only.

[happymarimo]

what the HECK is a tentacle demon

[i-sexually-identify-as-a-cactus]

Tentacle demon - a popular scary ghost story/urban legend among Marimos and snails and aquatic plants and creatures -

It’s our job to protect our babies and keep them from nightmares such as these vile monsters

[adhdontkn0w]

Ok ok my desktop snail tank has these and they are so fucking gross and freaky google couldnt help me id them

[slimeysnailfriends]

[happymarimo]

hey! why

[slimeysnailfriends]

because this is the bad timeline!!!!!!!!! if it makes you feel any better, the smaller hydras on it are baby hydras. very cute, right? /s

[happymarimo]

how do i delete a species from existence

[10yrsyart]

i finally recovered enough brain cells to draw for the show.. and it got a little out of hand. (forgive the exaggerations a bit, i just wanted to meme. but i love them all they are all valid, thanks for coming to my ted talk)

[iradraws]

Some lil enviornment studies. I cant wait for it to be super sunny again 🌞!!!

Insta | shop

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

From Neil Gaiman’s Conversation with Michael Chabon about creating Good Omens with Terry Pratchett: 

What we would do was we would talk plot each day on the phone for an hour, an hour and a half, make each other laugh, come up with great gags, talk about what we are going to do next, and then it was a mad dash to get to the next good bit before the other one could.

[alfacentaurii]

just getting used to drawing these old fools

[my-pretentious-name]

A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square