crawly crowley periscopes, change my mind
acab (all cats are baby)
Fic idea I was struck with the other day and keep thinking about: a Vulcan adopts a cat.
Still thinking about this, even though I’m not writing the fic!
This Vulcan, I’m calling her T’Pen, goes to a shelter and gets a cat, and the shelter employees are like, a bit weirded out? But obviously they’re going to give her a cat, I mean, she’s a Vulcan, she’s Super Responsible, she takes all the pamphlets and listens attentively to all the advice the shelter employees give her, even though it is obvious she researched a lot on her own.
Then T’Pen asks the shelter folks what she should name the cat and runs into That Thing Humans Do Where They Confound a Vulcan With Their Weird Ways
Shelter Employee 1: oh, you can name a cat anything! That’s what’s great! People names, common nouns, whole phrases.
Shelter Employee 2: yeah, nothing sounds weird on a cat. Everything from Chad to Cupboard is fair game.
SE 1: yeah, I mean, you can’t call a dog Chad, that would be weird
SE 2: I wouldn’t fuckin’ trust anyone who named their dog Chad
SE 1: oh word
T’Pen:….
T’Pen: ….fascinating.
Later, in the interest of furthering her anthropological study of Earth, T’Pen has a houseparty and she invites her coworkers, many of whom are human, but others which are aliens, and are fascinated by T’Pen’s cat
Vulcan Co-worker: T’Pen, what have you named this small Earth feline?
T’Pen: I have named him Marmalade.
Vucan co-worker: Is that not the name of a type of Terran fruit preserve? I do not understand the logic behind this choice.
T’Pen: the logic is self-evident to a human.
Human Co-worker: T’Pen, omg, you have a cat! What’s his name?
T’Pen: thank you for your inquiry. His name is Marmalade
Human Co-worker: oooh! yeah, that makes sense, because he’s orange and sweet! lmao, great name
Vulcan Co-worker: …
Vulcan Co-worker: ….fascinating
Human: So, how’s Marmalade?
T’Pen: He has the peculiar habit of walking on my workstation.
Human: Aggravating, isn’t it?
T’Pen: We Vulcans do not feel human emotions. However, I would prefer it if Marmalade stayed off my workstation, particularly when I am working.
Human: Get a box.
T’Pen: Murdering Marmalade seems an overreaction.
Human: No, you need a box with interior dimensions approximately the same as Marmalade’s body, and set it on the floor next to your workstation. Marmalade will sit in the box.
T’Pen: Why do you believe that this will work for Marmalade?
Human: We don’t know. It’s just something cats do. If he fits, he sits.
T’Pen: … Fascinating.
Vulcan Commander: T’Pen, you are posting videos of your cat. Explain.
T’pen: My colleagues are amused and entertained by Marmalade’s interactions with his environment. I am amused and entertained by their reactions as reflected in the comments.
Vulcan Commander (reading): “U haz done me a startle”?
T’Pen: Some of them like to verbalize what they believe are Marmalade’s thought processes. He is a cat, so they imagine that he does not grasp human spelling and grammar.
Vulcan Commander: … Fascinating. As you were. (signs off)
T’Pen (returning to her meal): Now I can haz lunch.
Vitamin C - Vacation (from Pikachu’s Vacation)
God that drumbeat still kicks me in the fucking teeth <3
Man this has the cheer beats, pipeline guitar riff, Green Onion organ motif, random sampling, unexpected rap, and a killer bass line. It may be the most 90′s Pop song I’ve ever heard, and it’s still so fun!
fracturedchassis asked:
Hello, Neil. I have a question regarding the general "trend" where authors always say that they don't read fanfiction.You mentioned in a tweet that it's something you 'legally shouldn't ' do. Is this a thing that is enforced everywhere in the author community? I just find it weird that nobody says that it's a legal thing, and just shrug it off as 'don't read it. don't want them to affect my ideas'. I guess it's a bit of both and i get the second part, I'm just curious if it's also a legal thing
neil-gaiman answered:
Long ago when the world was young fan fiction came with lengthy disclaimers. As a young author one knew of people who had been sued or been threatened with legal action by writers who had written fanfic. So many writers won’t read fan fiction of their works for the same reason they don’t want to be sent ideas for sequels to their books, and for the same reason TV companies don’t read unsolicited scripts and story ideas. It’s legally cleaner.
tostittios asked:
Caretaker I feel that i’ll never be satisfied with life. That i’ll always be hoping, wishing, for something “better”, even if what i have is objectively good enough I offer a straw hat, a silver ring, and the sound of a stone dropping into a well
normal-horoscopes answered:
A SMALL KNIFE BEING TURNED OVER IN THE SUNSHINE AND A BUNDLE OF STRING
arcticflakes
