Cats, please, guys. There’s some complicated stuff going on, and Cats Are Good.
This is my cat. She doesn’t let me read by myself so I read out loud to her and she purrs like a generator full of bees.
These are my cats. As ex-strays who decided to move in with me, they both like to help me when I’m working. Top: Assistant Housepainter Percy. Bottom: Assistant Report Editor Thomas.
El Diablo sympathizes. He prefers the snuggly, stress-free life. He would like to offer his fluffy belly, if you need some place soft to put your face for a minute. He promises his name is not indicative of his character.
This is Donut. He is weird.
this is tuggy and i dont know how to save instagram pics
this is bernoulli she has baby soft rabbit fur and knows how to high five for treats
Here are some fluff balls to hopefully help :3 the top one is Zeus, he is a very loving cat that is scared of everything. The bottom one is Mochi, she loves sitting in empty containers and is the only cat I know that prefers belly rubs to head scratches. :)
Juno likes sitting on top of piles of blankets, but don’t ever cover her up. She hates that.
Carmen loves being underneath blankets and sitting in the sun.
Part of the New Internet Grammar: using question marks not to denote questions, but upturns in voice, so that a tentative statement gets a question mark but a flatly delivered question doesn’t.
why would you do this
It just seems right?
“Imagine having a child that refuses to hug you or even look you in the eyes”
Imagine being shamed, as a child, for not showing affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being forced, as a child, to show affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being told, as a child, that your ways of expressing affection weren’t good enough. Imagine being taught, as a child, to associate physical affection with pain and coercion.
As a preschool special ed para, this is very important to me. All my kids have their own ways of showing affection that are just as meaningful to them as a hug or eye contact is to you or me.
One gently squeezes my hand between both of his palms as he says “squish.” I reciprocate. When he looks like he’s feeling sad or lost, I ask if I can squish him, and he will show me where I can squish him. Sometimes it’s almost like a hug, but most of the time, it’s just a hand or an arm I press between my palms. Then he squishes my hand in return, says “squish,” and moves on. He will come ask for squishes now, when he recognizes that he needs them.
Another boy smiles and sticks his chin out at me, and if he’s really excited, he’ll lean his whole body toward me. The first time he finally won a game at circle time, he got so excited he even ran over and bumped chins with me. He now does it when he sees me outside of school too. I stick out my chin to acknowledge him, and he grins and runs over and I lean down for a chin bump.
Yet another child swings my hand really fast. At a time when another child would be seeking a hug, she stands beside me and holds my hand, and swings it back and forth, with a smile if I’m lucky. The look on her face when I initiate the hand swinging is priceless.
Another one bumps his hip against mine when he walks by in the hallway or on the playground, or when he gets up after I’m done working with him. No eye contact, no words, but he goes out of his way to “crash” into me, and I tell him that it’s good to see him. He now loves to crash into me when I’m least expecting it. He doesn’t want anything, really. Just a bump to say “Hi, I appreciate you’re here.” And when he’s upset and we have to take a break, I’ll bump him, ask if he needs to take a walk, and we just go wander for a bit and discuss whatever’s wrong, and he’s practically glued to my side. Then one more bump before we go back into the room to face the problem.
Moral of the story is, alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as traditional affection. Reciprocating alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as returning a hug. That is how you build connections with these children.
I just . . this is amazing, and wonderful, and should be posted everywhere where there are people and shown to everyone who thinks there is one way to show affection - by eye contact or hug.
my eternal affection to those who let me show affection by bumping my head against their shoulders
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