you: excessive and incorrect use of commas
me—an intellectual: excessive and incorrect use of m dashes
me, a pseudo-intellectual: both, if at all possible—and it’s always possible
u can be nb and still call yourself boyfriend/girlfriend or still like being called boy/girl/any gendered term because guess what???? gender is fake and so is language and that’s just how it is on this bitch of an earth
Here’s a funny to tide you over until I get a few more reviews done.
They’re coming, I promise. Be patient!
(Also, if you haven’t checked out this Futurama/Dukat mash-up blog, check it out for a good laugh.)
stupid cats are valid
cats who aren’t graceful and thud to the ground like a bag of rocks are VALID
forbidden fruit
Why do grown ass adults want to eat Tide pods so much?
Because a ton of the visual/olfactory/textural sensory information these pods give me the match nutritionally-dense fruit. It’s got the oleic gleam of something high-fat like an avocado, but bright carotenoid-rich coloration like a berry that wants to be eaten by red-seeing primates and birds. It tends to smell sweet and slightly floral, enhancing that effect. Similarly, when you hold it, it is quite dense (denser than water), but very soft and liquid, once again reaffirming that this “fruit” has either high sugar or high fat content and almost no cellulose to it.
As a result, within me is a less-clever monkey just screaming to eat this delicious fruit in my hand about to go into the laundry, and it does in fact take willpower to tell him he’s a stupid monkey and this is a bubble of foul-tasting poison. But every time I do laundry, this fucking limbic monstrosity rises again and assures me it’s basically like a cherry but Even Better. I have legitimately debated just biting down on one in the hopes of inducing a deterrent memory to forestall this urge in the future, but that’s what my goddamn mammal-brain wants me to fucking do and I refuse to let it win.
Human Brain: Don’t eat the posion pod its fucking posion
Monkey Brain: Eat the fruit pod its fruit
Lizard Brain: The Washing Machine Is Vibrating Give It The Sex
Fish Brain: Climb inside the washing machine it is safe.
I had this billion-dollar idea to make edible candy that’s packaged like a Tide pod and would satisfy this urge, but one of my friends got an actual lawyer on the phone to explain why I would set some sort of world record for lawsuits
:DDDD
billie joe armstrong is like…the definition of chaotic good. a prime example of this is the fact that one time at a green day concert this guy in the pit was harassing a young girl so billie stopped the show to help her. however, his way of doing so was to jump into the audience, dropkick the guy directly in the face, and then fight him in a crowd of screaming fans
This is missing the best part - when he saw the guy, he tried to be like “Dude, stop” and when the man didn’t stop pushing the girl around he screamed “Fine! You wanna fight? I’ll fucking fight you, then!” and leapt directly into the crowd
There’s a reason Green Day was my favourite band in high school, and Billie Joe Armstrong is it.
Always reblog bisexual chaotic goods
I read that last part as bisexual chaotic god and was fine with that.
i read that last part
as bisexual chaotic god
and was fine with that
In 300 years someone’s gonna make a Hamilton-esque musical with Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders and teenagers on the internet are gonna stan Donald Trump like “uwu my trash son Donald being a drama queen as usual” and I’m gonna have to do it. I’m gonna have to come back from the dead and destroy the planet.
i’ve finally found an argument that convinces me that those tech gurus who are chasing immortality aren’t 100% misguided like they may be 99.999% misguided but damn if someone isn’t gonna have to yell at the 2300′s equivalent of Jared Leto for trying to method-act his way through a Trump biopic
ICONOCLASTS is now available on PC and Playstation 4/Vita!!
$20, 20€, £18, JP¥2000
(NA Playstation a bit later today)
I hope you enjoy my mix of things I’ve loved as a youngster, coming together in this narrative-driven action adventure game!
Love y'all.
winterfireice