Lorca: [gesturing to a broken replicator] So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.
Tilly: I did. I broke it.
Lorca: No. No, you didn’t. Tyler?
Tyler: Don’t look at me. Look at Burnham.
Burnham: What? I didn’t break it.
Tyler: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken
Burnham: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
Tyler: Suspicious.
Burnham: No, it’s not!
Saru: If it matters, probably not… Stamets was the last one to use it.
Stamets: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
Saru: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Stamets: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Saru!
Culber: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Captain.
Lorca: No. Who broke it?
Burnham: Captain, Detmer’s been awfully quiet…
Detmer: Really?!
Burnham: Yeah, really!
[later]
Lorca: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
macaronitrash
