[batmanisagatewaydrug]

listen if you think someone is cool and you dig their energy you just have to tell them, because that’s the kind of stuff you remember a thousand times longer than somebody complimenting your hair or whatever. tonight I told a girl from my theory class that I like her analytical approach and she bounced back at me saying she digs my feminine energy and how she gets the vibe that, to my core, I exist to uplift women and I damn near cried. tell people what resonates about them. be real. help each other feel seen.

[firebirdy]

This may be the best book I have ever purchased. It is definitely in the top 10

[theprettygoodgatsby]

whAT BOOK IS THIS

[faokryn]

To Be or Not to Be by Ryan North.  Hamlet as a choose-your-own-adventure book.

[aleatoryw]

I own this book and it’s about 600 pages and it’s ALL this good. You can play as hamlet, Ophelia, or hamlet sr, who is a ghost. You can murder everyone in the play. You can fire yourself out of a cannon and use your uncle as a skateboard. There are dozens of endings and places where you can diverge from canon and do something wacky instead. 10/10 would recommend

[whitmerule]

…. i have a mighty need

[catsofinstagram]

From @missenell: “When all you think of is how to get rid of your sister by shipping her away 😂🐾😻" #catsofinstagram [source: http://ift.tt/2l1dKet ]

How to tell if you are in an Ace Attorney game…

[unshavedmouse]

Despite years of practicing law and a near-perfect rate of acquittal, you are treated as a rank amateur and fool by everyone you meet.

It may be the future, but you’re not sure.

You live in LA. You are an American lawyer with a Western name. Your next case involves a murdered rakugo storyteller killed by a kamikaze pilot using a katana on the orders of the yakuza. The prosecutor is a samurai.

Your companion is an unflaggingly optimistic teenage girl with magic powers or a super science gadget. She will systematically destroy your self esteem, apparently for no reason.

You have conclusively proved the innocence of your client and demonstrated the guilt of the true perpetrator. There is a tiny, minor, unresolved question regarding how the culprit framed your client that you cannot answer at this time. The judge sentences your client to death.

The clown is not as friendly as he initially appeared.

No one knows what a badger is, or what they look like.

A witness has lied under oath for the seventh time, with no repercussion. Your faith in the law remains unwavering.

The prosecutor brutally assaults you in the courtroom, under the very gaze of the judge, with no repercussion. Your faith in the law remains unwavering.

The detective informs you that the evidence you uncovered relates to “The Incident”.

There is a statue with a sharp edge. It has killed before. It shall kill again.

Two characters have names that are anagrams of each other. This shall prove significant.

Your best friend is on trial for murder for the fifth time.

The prosecutor is a study in red velvet magnificence. He fixes you with his cold, icy aristocratic gaze and all your flaws bloom brightly beneath it. He finds you wanting. You will prove yourself to him.

The judge is aghast. He asks if you mean what he thinks you mean. You do.

The detective agrees to let you examine the crime scene, just this once.

A seemingly benign witness has shown a glimpse of a more sinister character animation. They did it.

Twins.

The victim was not killed where the body was found.

Ghosts are real and everyone real chill about that.

You have yelled “Objection!” but, if you’re honest, nothing especially out of order has been said.

Just as all seems lost, the prosecutor realises that your client is innocent and he turns on the true culprit. As the music rises triumphantly you and he launch accusation after accusation at the helpless victim, tearing his lies apart with raw animal passion, both working together in perfect unison. Your eyes meet across the courtroom. You have proven yourself to him. He is yours now. And you are his. This is the greatest moment of your life.

[gyakutensaibanvsaceattorney]

You’re constantly wondering how old the judge is and if he’s gone senile yet. You’re convinced he is, though.

Your houseplant is your superior in your office and deserves pampering. If he turns yellow, you’re doing it wrong.

If someone’s parent show up while you’re on a case, chances are they’ll end up dead or in a coma and forget everything until just the right moment, or is just straight up a terrible person.

[officialbarokvanzieks]

Your hairstyle is just a little bit on the unusual side and everyone decides to not only point it out, but repeatedly make fun of it. You decide to change it later but you never do.

Any pet that decides to show up ends up becoming a significant plot device.

[gyakutensaibanvsaceattorney]

You often feel like it’s the defense who is being prosecuted, rather than the defendant… unless you’re both.

You know what contradiction to point out, but you can’t find the right piece of evidence until you’ve saved and reloaded multiple times. Then you act like you knew the answer all along.

Every time you recruit someone into your lawyer clan, they must have a new gimmick. That being said, the prosecutors seem to follow suit…

After a good trial, you and your buddies all go out for burger ramen.

[haiku-robot]

after a good trial
you and your buddies all go out
for burger ramen

---

^Haiku^bot^6. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. | Who do I read? | Contact | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Meep morp! Zeet!

[goddamnshinyrock]

there are several of those programable highway signs along I-95 in Rhode Island and currently they all say “SILVER BELLS OR SILVER SHACKLES” which is the most threatening yet festive warning against breaking traffic laws that I’ve ever seen

[tomakeitbeautifultolive]

Husband: Whoa, have you seen young Patrick Stewart?!

Me: I don’t think so. I kind of assumed he’s always been old.

Husband: Turns out he was handsome as fuck.

[screengeniuz]

DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMN.

[rebakitt3n]

what do you mean “was”?

[sorcyress]

Okay, like absolutely still is, but hot damn those cheekbones.

[montereybayaquarium]

Meet sea otter 808! This resilient pup was rescued by our Sea Otter Program team on December 14, 2017 after he stranded on Carmel Beach with injuries from shark bites.

Sea otter 808 is being treated with antibiotics and is taking solid food from Monterey Bay Aquarium staff, who are caring for the pup in a behind-the-scenes intensive care area. His most recent exam showed that the bites are beginning to heal and the pup is continuing to improve.

This pup is between six and eight weeks old. If he continues to improve, he’ll be introduced to one of our resident female otters, who will serve as a surrogate mother for the pup. Our plan is to raise the pup for return to the wild.

Fun fact about us: Monterey Bay Aquarium pioneered the rescue and care of stranded California sea otter pups more than 30 years ago. We are the only facility in the world that raises these pups for release to the wild, with the help of non-releasable exhibit otters, who serve as surrogate mothers for the pups.

Surrogate sea otter mom Selka and rescued sea otter pup 774.

Sea otter 808 is the 808th animal – either a stranded pup, or an ill or injured juvenile or adult sea otter – to be treated through our pioneering program since the 1980s.

Released pups and their offspring have significant positive impacts on the coastal habitats where they’re released:

Want to help stranded sea otter pups like 808?

Support the expansion of our Animal Care Center! This expanded center will nearly triple the size of our current facility, helping us meet the growing needs of ocean animals here at the Aquarium and in the wild.

[wheeloffortune-design]

Aragorn is saying “potato” and “wait that’s my horse”