[geekdawson]

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have. 

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships. 

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery. 

[chrissyisabear]

am i the only one who is self conscious about my windshield wiper speed when it’s raining. like i gotta watch other cars to make sure im not being too dramatic

[ladyyatexel]

Look how gay my hair is

[savory-breakfasts]

Julian fought to wake up, felt the thin winter sunlight in his face. Sunlight? Fuck. What time was it? Shit shit shit he missed the exam. Dammit why couldn’t Richard have engineered some better executive function while he was at it? All the genius in the world didn’t do much when you struggled with time and social norms. If anything it made it worse; everyone just assumed you were an arrogant prat, because struggle didn’t fit with brilliant. He pulled the pillow over his head, defeated, then felt a hand shaking his shoulder.

“Julian? Wake up, dear.”

He opened one eye. Dark. Space. Partner. Garak. Deep Space Nine. He exhaled deeply. 35. Chief medical officer. Everyone knows, nothing hidden. He closed his eyes again with a moan.

“More dreams?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Garak handed him a hot mug of sweet tea and he sipped it.

“Thank you. This helps.”

“Where were you?”

“The Academy.”

“Ah. Showing up to class naked?”

Julian laughed.

“Close. Missing an exam.”

He drank more tea, smiled.

“Absurd, isn’t it? I’m not dreaming of battlefield horrors, I’m dreaming of my youthful fears.”

Garak sat silently, waiting for him to go on.

“It’s just I…I used to feel quite helpless. Silly, really. I was in the safest place imaginable, treated well and groomed for leadership. But I always felt…afraid.”

He put the mug down on the nightstand and closed his eyes.

“It’s back, Elim. I feel small. It’s all too much.”

[huamachuco]

Canadian stamps are awesome.
#ds9

[jimkerk]

“Interesting. You saved the day by destroying the world,” says garak to bashir at the end of our man bashir. garak, after having spent the entire episode trying to tell julian how to be a proper spy, then tries to destroy a planet at the end of broken link - which he justifies as “a chance to end the dominion threat once and for all.” i just think that’s interesting

[ds9vgrconfessions]

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[Garak’s genuine respect for Kira from the start is one of my favorite understated things in the show. Especially his joking-not-joking about being afraid of her.]

[youranimeprince]

Crow babies are important

[builttobulk]

Somehow it never occurred to me that crows start out as babies.

[macpye]

This still isn’t a baby crow, the first one’s been a buff-banded rail chick (Gallirallus philippensis) since it hatched. The second isn’t even the same species. [x]

This is a baby crow:

[x]

[tinsnip]

Cats, please, guys. There’s some complicated stuff going on, and Cats Are Good.

[former-robot-overlord]

This is my cat. She doesn’t let me read by myself so I read out loud to her and she purrs like a generator full of bees.

[archaeo-geek]

These are my cats. As ex-strays who decided to move in with me, they both like to help me when I’m working. Top: Assistant Housepainter Percy. Bottom: Assistant Report Editor Thomas.

[savory-breakfasts]

Best cat

[unflatteringcatselfies]

his name is sailor and he loves that CRONCH