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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
villainous-queer-deactivated202
janey-jane:
“tailors traditionally sit cross legged like this (incidentally the constant pressure on the edges of the feet leading to deformities is how ‘tailor’s bunions’ got their name). a lot of traditional tailoring can’t be done by machine and...
janey-jane

tailors traditionally sit cross legged like this (incidentally the constant pressure on the edges of the feet leading to deformities is how ‘tailor’s bunions’ got their name). a lot of traditional tailoring can’t be done by machine and it occurs to me that this would facilitate lots of time to catch up on the feeds from bugs i’m sure garak has hidden all over the station (the real ones, not those hidden in obvious-enough-places for Odo to find). and of course, there is that added special delight i think he’d find in the knowledge that he excels at, and finds a way to make useful something Dukat meant to be a humiliating punishment.

villainous-queer-deactivated202

Sew Bun, Sew!

squimble-the-slug-witch

you know what, i’m still going to be excited and make bras anyways. hand stitched. i might even learn how to fagot a seam! I’m definitely gonna try making my own ribbon roses.

And hey, if there’s anybody who wears bras out there who wants to talk to me about fitting and/or about me making them some bras (give me practise!!), please get in touch via tumblr chat or askbox!

Right now I’m interested in this pattern and in bullet bras in general (feel free to ask me why, I can definitely explain).

I also love to help with bra fitting, learning your real size, and replacing your boring bra straps on bras you already own with fun patterned elastic (why worry about your bra strap showing when fun elastic exists?).

The only things I will need to ask from you are:

1) if I don’t have a material (like elastic, or sliders, or hooks, or if the fabric I have isn’t what you want–I don’t have a lot of fabric), you have to buy it for me (though I can find it for you!). I also have an amazon account, so I can use prime’s free shipping feature and cut down on the expense for you.

2) I obviously need you to mail the bras to me to work on, and pay for me to ship the bra to you when its done.

3) you need to own a tape measure.

4) you need to be willing to IM with me on skype, telegram, or something other than tumblr chat. I prefer desktop-based things like skype over browser based things like discord bc that means I can make the window bigger and refer back to information more easily. I already have telegram and skype.

I don’t need to be paid for labour at this point, because honestly you’d be giving me an excuse to do something that calms me down and makes me happy, and you’d be helping me practise doing this. I don’t have a reason to make bras because I don’t live with anybody who wears them, so i’m kind of in a lurch here.

I’m also happy to help with personal styling, I learn heavily toward retro (mid-century) and other historical fashion. I’m a walking fashion history book so anything you wanna know just ask!

Preference is given to people I follow, people I’ve spoken to at least once, and personal recommendations from people I know, but that doesn’t mean I will turn you down if we haven’t spoken yet! I’m just a bit shy with strangers.

this is good times replacing elastic sounds like a funnn
thedramaandart
just-shower-thoughts

Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. “I killed your friend, here hold him.”

mojave-wasteland-official

“Friend”

Its more of I killed a potential enemy. Hold his dismembered corpse in victory.

theun--sj

Plants don’t wage war

mojave-wasteland-official

Ever heard of blackberries?

Yes, plants do wage war

kasaron

Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else. 

systlin

I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago.

It’s currently fighting a bitter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio.

Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, I take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries.

And anyone wondering if a blowtorch is overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint.

moirakatson

This post did not go where I expected it to.

deathbeforednf

Our garden plot at my childhood home slowly got overrun by wild blackberries after we stopped managing it while my sister and I were in nursing school. And by overrun I mean it was like a 4 foot tall thicket of wild blackberries. It hadn’t been touched by humans in at least 4 years. I started the ultimately futile task of trying to clear this plot with a machete and discovered to my amazement a patch of mint several feet across underneath the canopy of blackberry, still fighting the good fight all those years later.

Ultimately it took two jars of homemade napalm and some creative fire placement to clear that patch but I damn sure saved that patch of mint. It earned the right to be there.

norseminuteman

Yall mother fuckers don’t even talk unless you’ve had to wage war on kudzu (it’s an ivy strain directly from Hell) that shit doesn’t just wage war with other plants, it wages war with all living things on planet earth. It’s some gnarly ass Blood for the Blood God, Chlorophyll for the Chlorophyll Throne demon weed. 

breadgunner

Can second the comments of Kudzu.

I forget where I read it but there’s this one tree that creates an extremely flammable substance that’s in both the bark and leaves. Dead trees become torches and crushed up leaves become dust-incendiary, all while the plant’s seeds are Giant Redwood levels of resilient to open flame. IE it has a goddamn scorched earth policy. It’s even more badass than plants that use toxins to starve other plants.

booksandwildthings

I’d like to third the comments on Kudzu. These are the battlefields:

image

See those weird pillars? Those were trees. See that strange lump in the middle? That was a house. Everything green you see in this photo is kudzu.

fallenwithstyle

Near my parents’ house in Oregon there’s an old WWII army training camp that’s long been abandoned, and it’s full of concrete remnants of buildings that are completely overrun with blackberries. It’s a really great spot to go berry picking, and it has an eerie, post-apocalyptic feel.

adroitaccelerando

That’s not even considering allelopathic interactions between plants-look up the black walnut tree (its toxin, juglone, is the most famous example)- basically, it wages chemical warfare on nearby plants through the root system (though the nutshells also contain juglone too). Juglone discourages germination rates and even inhibits root growth of already existing plants!
Allelopathy in general is a new field-theres Discourse™ because each particular toxins only works on specific plants, which vary; therefore it’s really fucking hard to regulate & compile enough data to test out the effects of such chemicals compared to other factors (pests, soil depletion, etc), but theres a little community still because Targeted Pesticides™ would be really rad yo

adroitaccelerando

So yeah you go plants go poison that waterhole

adroitaccelerando

Um i was skimming the post and saw PLANT WARS so,,,
I may have dumped a little too much,,,
Suffice to say that plants are super versatile and should be feared
Bow before them

squeeful

Phragmites australisa invades and conquers new territory by squirting acid on other plants so strong it dissolves roots in under half an hour.

(I watched a mint vs ivy showdown.  The ivy won.)

philosopherking1887

Nature, red in tooth, claw, and rhizome.

the-seedling-witch

This thread made my day so much better.

Also, I did have a mint plant a few years back, and I moved out and nobody in my family bothered to care for it, so it got BEYOND OVERGROWN and had taken over the entire plot I had for the mini garden. Mint needs to be restrained to a pot for the good of all gardens

happy cheer up wonderful world
cosmictuesdays
radioactivepeasant

On the topic of humans being everyone’s favorite Intergalactic versions  of Gonzo the Great:
Come on you guys, I’ve seen all the hilarious additions to my “humans are the friendly ones” post. We’re basically Steve Irwin meets Gonzo from the Muppets at this point. I love it. 

But what if certain species of aliens have Rules for dealing with humans?

  • Don’t eat their food. If human food passes your lips/beak/membrane/other way of ingesting nutrients, you will never be satisfied with your ration bars again.
  • Don’t tell them your name. Humans can find you again once they know your name and this can be either life-saving or the absolute worst thing that could happen to you, depending on whether or not they favor you. Better to be on the safe side.
  • Winning a human’s favor will ensure that a great deal of luck is on your side, but if you anger them, they are wholly capable of wiping out everything you ever cared about. Do not anger them.
  • If you must anger them, carry a cage of X’arvizian bloodflies with you, for they resemble Earth mo-skee-toes and the human will avoid them.
    • This does not always work. Have a last will and testament ready.
  • Do not let them take you anywhere on your planet that you cannot fly a ship from. Beings who are spirited away to the human kingdom of Aria Fiv-Ti Won rarely return, and those that do are never quite the same.

Basically, humans are like the Fair Folk to some aliens and half of them are scared to death and the others are like alien teenagers who are like “I dare you to ask a human to take you to Earth”.

dalekteaservice

We knew about the planet called Earth for centuries before we made contact with its indigenous species, of course. We spent decades studying them from afar.

The first researchers had to fight for years to even get a grant, of course. They kept getting laughed out of the halls. A T-Class Death World that had not only produced sapient life, but a Stage Two civilization? It was a joke, obviously. It had to be a joke.

And then it wasn’t. And we all stopped laughing. Instead, we got very, very nervous. 

We watched as the human civilizations not only survived, but grew, and thrived, and invented things that we had never even conceived of. Terrible things, weapons of war, implements of destruction as brutal and powerful as one would imagine a death world’s children to be. In the space of less than two thousand years, they had already produced implements of mass death that would have horrified the most callous dictators in the long, dark history of the galaxy. 

Already, the children of Earth were the most terrifying creatures in the galaxy. They became the stuff of horror stories, nightly warnings told to children; huge, hulking, brutish things, that hacked and slashed and stabbed and shot and burned and survived, that built monstrous metal things that rumbled across the landscape and blasted buildings to ruin.

All that preserved us was their lack of space flight. In their obsession with murdering one another, the humans had locked themselves into a rigid framework of physics that thankfully omitted the equations necessary to achieve interstellar travel. 

They became our bogeymen. Locked away in their prison planet, surrounded by a cordon of non-interference, prevented from ravaging the galaxy only by their own insatiable need to kill one another. Gruesome and terrible, yes - but at least we were safe.

Or so we thought.

The cities were called Hiroshima and Nagasaki. In the moment of their destruction, the humans unlocked a destructive force greater than any of us could ever have believed possible. It was at that moment that those of us who studied their technology knew their escape to be inevitable, and that no force in the universe could have hoped to stand against them.

The first human spacecraft were… exactly what we should have expected them to be. There were no elegant solar wings, no sleek, silvered hulls plying the ocean of stars. They did not soar on the stellar currents. They did not even register their existence. Humanity flew in the only way it could: on all-consuming pillars of fire, pounding space itself into submission with explosion after explosion. Their ships were crude, ugly, bulky things, huge slabs of metal welded together, built to withstand the inconceivable forces necessary to propel themselves into space through violence alone.

It was almost comical. The huge, dumb brutes simply strapped an explosive to their backs and let it throw them off of the planet. 

We would have laughed, if it hadn’t terrified us.

Humanity, at long last, was awake.

It was a slow process. It took them nearly a hundred years to reach their nearest planetary neighbor; a hundred more to conquer the rest of their solar system. The process of refining their explosive propulsion systems - now powered by the same force that had melted their cities into glass less than a thousand years before - was slow and haphazard. But it worked. Year by year, they inched outward, conquering and subduing world after world that we had deemed unfit for habitation. They burrowed into moons, built orbital colonies around gas giants, even crafted habitats that drifted in the hearts of blazing nebulas. They never stopped. Never slowed.

The no-contact cordon was generous, and was extended by the day. As human colonies pushed farther and farther outward, we retreated, gave them the space that they wanted in a desperate attempt at… stalling for time, perhaps. Or some sort of appeasement. Or sheer, abject terror. Debates were held daily, arguing about whether or not first contact should be initiated, and how, and by whom, and with what failsafes. No agreement was ever reached.

We were comically unprepared for the humans to initiate contact themselves.

It was almost an accident. The humans had achieved another breakthrough in propulsion physics, and took an unexpected leap of several hundred light years, coming into orbit around an inhabited world.

What ensued was the diplomatic equivalent of everyone staring awkwardly at one another for a few moments, and then turning around and walking slowly out of the room.

The human ship leapt away after some thirty minutes without initiating any sort of formal communications, but we knew that we had been discovered, and the message of our existence was being carried back to Terra. 

The situation in the senate could only be described as “absolute, incoherent panic”. They had discovered us before our preparations were complete. What would they want? What demands would they make? What hope did we have against them if they chose to wage war against us and claim the galaxy for themselves? The most meager of human ships was beyond our capacity to engage militarily; even unarmed transport vessels were so thickly armored as to be functionally indestructible to our weapons.

We waited, every day, certain that we were on the brink of war. We hunkered in our homes, and stared.

Across the darkness of space, humanity stared back.

There were other instances of contact. Human ships - armed, now - entering colonized space for a few scant moments, and then leaving upon finding our meager defensive batteries pointed in their direction. They never initiated communications. We were too frightened to.

A few weeks later, the humans discovered Alphari-296.

It was a border world. A new colony, on an ocean planet that was proving to be less hospitable than initially thought. Its military garrison was pitifully small to begin with. We had been trying desperately to shore it up, afraid that the humans might sense weakness and attack, but things were made complicated by the disease - the medical staff of the colonies were unable to devise a cure, or even a treatment, and what pitifully small population remained on the planet were slowly vomiting themselves to death.

When the human fleet arrived in orbit, the rest of the galaxy wrote Alphari-296 off as lost.

I was there, on the surface, when the great gray ships came screaming down from the sky. Crude, inelegant things, all jagged metal and sharp edges, barely holding together. I sat there, on the balcony of the clinic full of patients that I did not have the resources or the expertise to help, and looked up with the blank, empty, numb stare of one who is certain that they are about to die.

I remember the symbols emblazoned on the sides of each ship, glaring in the sun as the ships landed inelegantly on the spaceport landing pads that had never been designed for anything so large. It was the same symbol that was painted on the helmets of every human that strode out of the ships, carrying huge black cases, their faces obscured by dark visors. It was the first flag that humans ever carried into our worlds.

It was a crude image of a human figure, rendered in simple, straight lines, with a dot for the head. It was painted in white, over a red cross.

The first human to approach me was a female, though I did not learn this until much later - it was impossible to ascertain gender through the bulky suit and the mask. But she strode up the stairs onto the balcony, carrying that black case that was nearly the size of my entire body, and paused as I stared blankly up at her. I was vaguely aware that I was witnessing history, and quite certain that I would not live to tell of it.

Then, to my amazement, she said, in halting, uncertain words, “You are the head doctor?”

I nodded.

The visor cleared. The human bared its teeth at me. I learned later that this was a “grin”, an expression of friendship and happiness among their species. 

“We are The Doctors Without Borders,” she said, speaking slowly and carefully. “We are here to help.”

coyotzin

Reblog for the amazing twist ending.

petralemaitre

During the nocturnal cycle on some spheres, we whisper the names of humans who brought their kind to us, the ones who tracked the calculus of planets using machines little more advanced than the abacus. The children shiver at the name of Katherine Johnson, hallowed among the humans, and we pray that any more of her calibre will be as bent on peace as she.

aiweirdness

Harry Potter and the word-level recurrent neural network

lewisandquark

Welcome Home by Alisanne | Severus will quite continue in a muggle book.

In a previous experiment, I trained a character-level recurrent neural network (char-rnn) to generate titles and summaries of Harry Potter fan fiction, based on over 100,000 examples scraped (with permission) from Ao3.  (Big thanks to @b8horpet for the dataset.) 

In a character-level neural network, the algorithm can work with any character (mostly letters, numbers, and punctuation) that appear in the original dataset. During the first stages of the training, the neural network has to learn to spell even common words like “the” before it can progress to writing sentences. I wondered if I could get better fan fiction summaries if I shortcutted this process. 

A word-level recurrent neural network (word-rnn) lets the algorithm use entire words as its building blocks rather than individual letters. However, we usually have to restrict the number of possible words to a number that the neural network can handle without choking - in my case, I found that I had to use only words that appear at least 200 times.

This 200-word threshold gets rid of self-insertions (i.e. people adding themselves as foreign exchange students), but also gets rid of some of the inventiveness we saw in char-rnn (so sadly, no indescribennings). However, since the neural network no longer has to learn to spell individual words, it’s much better at producing readable summaries.

Char-rnn:

Harry Potter and the Dark Doored Lives of Both (Odd chickens) by Cherus | Hermione gets to follow her terror. He just lost his heroe before him, he’s not crossed intentions. THONG SEXUAL! (Post-War) ((_All holes of DPAGonder Summoning, I want overly fenrir and a shape three and since Himself) for now, sorts, no things, they may have.

Word-rnn:

A Game of Happy - Heart by orphan _ account | Harry Potter is a sixth year student at Hogwarts. And he has a plan. When a strange new teacher shows up with his cousin he finds out that he is not an orphan, but he is not always a werewolf .

The word-level neural network is also helped by a longer memory, since it can now analyze 50 words at a time rather than merely 75 characters. We get longer sentences that still manage to be grammatical, and it remembers to close most of its quotation marks. It even manages to write summaries of identifiably different styles.

A Day on the Night by articcat621 | Hermione and Draco get stuck in a potion, which might have turned out to be the best change in the world.

Sweet by alafaye | Remus and Sirius are in a relationship, and while Remus is in want of a date, he has no idea what to say.

The Secrets We Have by orphan _ account | “I’m not sure what you think,“ Harry said, and he heard it as a smile. "You’re not going to be able to keep it all around.”

Your Name Is A Wish by 1001 | I’m a witch. And you’re not a girl, and I’m a Hufflepuff.

The Secrets We Get by orphan _ account | What if Harry Potter was born? What if Harry Potter had been raised by the Dursleys and had a few friends and a few friends? What if he hadn’t been a Death Eater? What if he had been raised by his godfather? What if he was raised by the Dursleys? What if he had been raised as a Half-blood Prince? What if he didn’t know that he’d been pregnant? What if he was raised in the dark and he became a Death Eater? What if he wanted his parents to be in Gryffindor? What if he was a hero? What if he had found out? What if Harry Potter was not a father? What if he had a twin sister, a very different boyfriend.

That’s not to say that the grammar is flawless, however:

Who am you? by orphan _ account | Harry and Draco are both in the same room as “The Boy Who Lived”.

Draco to go by chaos [ archived by thequidditchpitch_archivist ] | Drarry. Seamus doesn’t mind at a gay hospital. For the prompt “the dark Lord was bed.”

Happy Birthday, Harry by orphan _ account | In which Harry is a cat, and Draco is a little bit of a little over.

Another consequence of the 200-word frequency threshold is that individual authors only made the cut if they were prolific enough to write at least 200 stories. So, anyone appearing in the word-rnn results has written hundreds of these - with the exception of screennames containing underscores. In those, every word is treated separately and so the neural network is able to improvise new names, some of which would be seriously annoying to type in:

why_you_i_because_a_gay_gay
hell_and_the_Luna_life
The_Marauder_of_angry_and_this_are_the_who_though
books_and_go
1000000000000000
coffee_n_and_a_Future
__________________________Dumbledore_and_magic_Black_magic
The_Marauder_Snape_Of_Sherlock
oh_little_boy
Tumblr_and_many_sky_by_the_great_sort
The_Dramione_of_time
The_Lost_and_happy_than_live_with_a_writing_is_not_going_to_you_love

One of the things that must have happened at least 200 times is this crossover:

We’re Just a Wizard by orphan _ account | The Doctor and Lily Potter find themselves in a strange new world.

And “Happy Birthday” and “more than they bargained for” are two of the neural network’s very favorite phrases, which makes sense if you’ve read enough Harry Potter fan fiction.

Happy Birthday, Harry by orphan _ account | Harry and Draco get a little more than they bargained for.

Happy Birthday, Neville by ChokolatteJedi | Harry gets a little more than he bargained for.

Christmas, of course, happens All The Time.

You Don’t Know (I’ll Hell You) by digthewriter | The night before Christmas, it is a mistake on the other side.

Slytherin. by pekeleke for Alisanne | Harry is happy to tell you how he has Secret Santa, and Draco can’t sleep. 

Headmaster Snape’s First Years by Elfflame | Hermione has a Secret Santa to a lover for Ron. It’s open to you - it’s exactly what you expect (It’s not quite) /HG/HP

Just matter by This Day Is ( filled ) for digthewriter | A few years after the death of Harry and Ron, Draco goes to the only Wizarding Christmas bar.

In fact, characters end up in bars quite often.

Not a Wizard by me _ and | What if Severus is in the bar? Harry doesn’t know how to tell him that.

My First Chance by coffee _ n _ and _ a _ Future [ archived by ISF _ Archivist ] | Sirius is feeling drunk and alone with a certain Remus later, and soon runs away from the Marauders’ sixth year.

Even if the neural network plays it safe with grammar and spelling, it will often come up with scenarios that seem a bit… unlikely.

We’ll Be Boys by orphan _ account | Sirius Black is a small girl who has no idea what he’s going to do to save the Wizarding World.

The Secrets We Are by orphan _ account | Harry Potter, twin brother of Sirius Black, is a girl with a few friends, a girl who has no idea what is going on.

Harry and Tom : The Boy Who Lived by orphan _ account | Harry Potter returns to Hogwarts behind his parents, then his sixth year at Hogwarts being sorted into Slytherin and more. Now, with his best friend, Severus Snape, Harry finally finds out his greatest plans : his friendship with his friends there are no answers to what went on during history . A young wizard Draco finds on his son and lover, along with Bill Weasley and Draco Malfoy. Will they win? Also, it will be going not expected.

Harry is the Master of Death and Snape is tired of it.

Summer Summer by Alisanne | Severus and Severus have a little fun in the snow. 

But I think my favorite thing this time around is the output the neural network produces when it’s instructed to play it Really Really Safe, and choose the most likely next word in each sentence. With the temperature setting turned down to just 0.3, we get:

A Hero’s Tale by orphan _ account | Harry Potter is a wizard, and he is a wizard. He is a wizard. He is a wizard, a wizard, a wizard, and a son. He is also a Slytherin, and he is a wizard. He is a wizard, and he is a wizard. He is also a wizard, and he has not been the one to be a father.

A Hero’s Tale by 1001Angel | Harry’s life is turned upside down when he finds out that he is a wizard, and is a wizard.

A Hero’s Tale by orphan _ account | The last thing Harry Potter expected to be was a boy who was the most powerful Dark Lord ever. He was not the only one to do the impossible.

A Hero’s Tale by orphan _ account | Harry is a Slytherin, and Draco is a vampire. Harry is a Slytherin, and Draco is a Slytherin .

A Hero’s Tale by 1 9 7 6 | The Dark Lord has won. The Dark Lord has won. Voldemort is dead. Harry Potter is dead. The Dark Lord is defeated. Harry is finally free to live his life. He is not the only one with the power to destroy his own destiny.

Want more word-rnn Harry Potter? I had more I couldn’t fit in this post. Categories include Harry and Draco, Non Sequiturs, and The Restricted Section. Fill in your email here and I’ll send them to you.

funny