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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
old-type-40
old-type-40:
“  That little moment was one of my favorites on the show. It’s really about two actors playing with each other and has little if anything to do with the show. Technically, it could be called “secondary action” in terms of the method…...
old-type-40

That little moment was one of my favorites on the show. It’s really about two actors playing with each other and has little if anything to do with the show. Technically, it could be called “secondary action” in terms of the method… but in this case, it was merely Avery and I having some fun with the world around us. Surely, Martok had never seen a baseball before and may have correctly identified the covering of the ball as the hide of some kind of animal. For all he knew it could be Targ. But Martok was very curious about the markings on the ball and the way it was made, meanwhile they were discussing an attack on Cardassia or some such monumental topic, and distracted by a baseball. Sisko may have been afraid Martok might have thought it to be food and taken a bite out of it… or some such action. So, we toyed with each other a bit and that is what we ended up with. - J.G. Hertzler (Martok)

I’ve seen clips from the DS9 episode You Are Cordially Invited being posted recently which caused me to check the notes about it at Memory Alpha. One of them was about the scene above. Hertzler also had this to say about the Kal’Hyah scenes (he really is General Martok):

That was another hoot. There was like a five thousand degree fire going on, it was a hot day outside, we were standing next to this fire pretending not to feel it because we’re Klingons. Those other guys complained, those wimps, Colm and Sid, hanging from their little fingers over the fire, wimpy boys!

happy cheer up funny
thornfield13713

peppersandcats asked:

Garak.

thornfield13713 answered:

1. Actually went back to the holosuites with Julian to play James Bond games after ‘Our Man Bashir’ because…honestly, it’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen in his life. Especially the death-traps. Julian in a death trap is an absolute delight to watch, and not just because of all the contortions he has to go through to get out of them. So long as there’s no risk of actual death, it’s really all very entertaining.

2. Garak always knew he was Tain’s son, and that he must never speak of it, and that he ought to consider himself lucky he wasn’t killed in infancy. He was a servant in Tain’s house from the moment he was old enough to carry a tea-tray. That one day out in the country he mentions on Tain’s deathbed was the first time Tain actually took any real interest in him, and the first and last time he ever showed Garak anything that could pass for affection.

3. His favourite human novel is Persuasion. Nobody understands this. At all. His favourite Cardassian novel is still The Never-Ending Sacrifice, even after Cardassia is destroyed and the book has fallen out of favour.

4. Is, by Cardassian standards, a bit of a hopeless romantic. This has, notably, rarely interfered with him betraying, killing or using people he cares about for the good of the state, at least partly because such behaviour is contextualised by Cardassian culture. His behaviour with Julian, for example, is…actually a bit old-fashioned, but heavily rooted in Cardassian romantic mores. He figures he can get away with it on a Bajoran station where hardly anyone has seen Cardassians courting, as the Occupation of Bajor was not somewhere this sort of behaviour was widely engaged in even between Cardassians.

5. Has a bit of a sweet tooth and is seriously contemplating introducing chocolate to Cardassia‘s agricultural colonies at some point after the rebuilding is at a tolerable level.

6. Lost count of the number of people whose deaths he is responsible for years ago. Will make up a number if you asked him. The number of people he has killed directly he does remember, but will claim he doesn’t.

7. Had some dissident sympathies even at the height of his career under Tain. If he had truly believed killing Natima Lang and her students was what would be best for Cardassia, he would have killed them and not batted an eye, but even then he was aware, on some level, that the way Cardassia was, the Cardassia he had served, was unsustainable and would need to change or die. He rather wishes it hadn’t done both.

8. Actually likes a lot of human literature much better than he claims, but goes out of his way to be offended by it, and to find Cardassian literature that will offend Julian, just so they can bicker more. Has a hidden stash of Georgette Heyer and John le Carre he doesn’t want anyone to know about.

9. Keeps a small hydroponics garden in his quarters, though it’s not enough for him to grow his beloved Edosian orchids. After the war, there isn’t enough to spare to re-fertilise the Cardassian soil, and so he doesn’t start gardening again for years.

10. Has never really got along with riding hounds. He is awful at riding them, having been dreadful as a child and not having improved with age, and doesn’t really care for them as a species. Before the war, this didn’t matter so much. Afterwards…it’s more difficult, as due to the destruction of the Cardassian public transport system riding hounds are once again integral to Cardassian life.

eldritchtribble
eldritchtribble

I am the very model of a shrewd Ferengi businessman
I’ve been on Deep Space Nine since it was run by the Cardassians
My bar provides each alien that passes through its double doors
With gambling and alcohol, and holographic paramours

But that is not to say that I’m impervious to harder times
I’ve often been accused of larceny and graft and other crimes
My righteous indignation is becoming quite demonstrable
Especially with my old friend, the law-enforcing Constable.

I’m singing this while sitting in a holding cell familiar
So Odo comes and lets me out before he goes peculiar
That good-cop, bad-cop subroutine he just took to employing
Could use some work (or one more cop) - it’s really quite annoying.

tinsnip
geekhyena

My favorite Star Trek novel ^^ Featuring cameos by @dduane and @petermorwood even! 

petermorwood

Some people don’t like “HMFJTP?” because “it doesn’t treat Star Trek seriously”. Other people like it for that very reason. YMMV.

I like it a lot, and not just because of the cameos (which we didn’t know about beforehand) - it’s fun, and it fits into Proper Trek in the same slightly loopy way as “Galaxy Quest”, a Star Trek movie (of course it is!) that wouldn’t have worked if the pastiche had been done with less affection for the source.

There was a pie in (the Klingon)’s hand.

Blueberry, Kirk thought instead of ducking.

Splat.

Blueberry it was.

Constant Snark, like Constant Serious, can only go so far before a bit of light relief is more than appreciated. If you want serious, I can recommend “The Final Reflection”, Mike’s take on Klingons, which IMO is more interesting an nuanced than the canon Samurai Biker version - but again, that’s just me and YMMV.

One small, rather serious note about Mike’s work: John M. Ford died ten years ago this month. He died without a will, and though not close to his family, the lack of his own wishes in the matter had a result I can best summarise by quoting the “Encyclopedia of Science Fiction”:

It is to be regretted that his biological family, disapproving of his genre work, is where possible suppressing any reprints. His true family was Fandom.

They can’t (AFAIK) influence the Trek books, but World Fantasy winner “The Dragon Waiting” - non-spoilery review (A), spoilery review (B) - many other novels and much of his short work is unlikely to appear again, and as for “Aspects: A Novel With Sorcery”, we can only look at the partials Mike sent us and sigh for what might have been.

Of course there would never have been another “Planet?”; Mike exploited a loophole which said, or didn’t, that “Star Trek as Gilbert and Sullivan musical comedy, film noir, advertising skit, five-door farce, sitcom, pastiche, parody and party political broadcast either individually or all at once is not expressly forbidden.”

That loophole was, not surprisingly, shut soon afterwards. But not in time to catch Dr Wally’s Kitchen of Wonders and its (cough) unique (cough) explanation of “Dilithium And You!

Yes, it’s the Klingons. These warlike beings are always on the prowl for dilithium, to drive their war machines, power their warships and do many other war things. And that shows why you kids watching shouldn’t try this experiment at home with any dilithium you might have around the house. That man will recover, because he got prompt medical attention, which we always have on call here at the Kitchen of Wonders. You might not be so lucky.”

That’s an important safety tip, Dr Wally…

Enough quoting. I’ve got my copy right here, and I’m going to go read it.

kittyknowsthings
kittyknowsthings

You may all blame @tinsnip for this particular bout of silliness - the merchants of Deep Space Nine discover the value of having the Emissary endorse their products. Minor chaos ensues.