No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.

sleepysnowfinch

bad-startrek-aus

AU where the ship runs with an old version of Windows

onedamnminuteadmiral

The viewscreen cuts out to the flying toasters screensaver if they have it on one channel too long.

Incoming and outgoing transmissions are accompanied by little graphics of poorly-animated envelopes (and they always come in with AOL-voice: “You’ve got mail!”

Jim changes the cursor on every computer to one of those pixelated bouncing flowers and locks it using captain’s override so no one can change it.

Jim and Spock play chess on this:

They have to wait for dial-up to do literally anything. Alpha shift consists of a bunch of bored officers staring at their screens while the ship boots up and tries to connect to space-AOL. It takes hours.

Klingons run on old iMacs so every time they try to communicate one or both of their computers explode. No wonder diplomacy is tough.

Instead of just asking the computer for information, they have to use Encarta ‘95.

One episode, our intrepid heroes have to cure a crew-wide epidemic where everyone gets addicted to SkiFree and no one gets any work done.

unflatteringcatselfies:
“i tried taking a picture of my cat but she yawned
”
“We keep these as pets!”

cat therapy

petermorwood

guacslut-deactivated20190109 asked:

you dont realise how great scotland is until you move half way across the world and can no longer get irn bru on tap or speak to random people on the train..i tried it. Dont speak to commuters in Toronto. They think you're weird.

oh-glasgow answered:

I remember when I was in Southampton when I was 19 and was confused when the Pizza Hut didn’t have Irn-Bru on tap. Like, haha what is this place?

That said, a few days later I was sitting on the bench in the park and a homeless man started talking to me. He was one of the very few people that actually started a conversation first. Nice guy, actually. I gave him the rest of my half-bottle of Irn-Bru (of a supply that I brought with me!) and he said he could see why the Scots drink. I politely declined his offer of sharing his can of Tennent’s Super.

Big cities tend to think you’re weird if you start talking to them randomly on the train, at the bus stop, in the pub. Not in Scotland. It’s like something written into our DNA. I’ve had conversations with people on the streets and invited up to random flats not knowing anyone and been greeted like I was a long-lost cousin. “Oh, I didn’t actually bring anyth-”

“Nae borra, big yin” he said as he launched a can of Tennent’s into my hand “that’s whit we keep the cooking lager fur.”

What a beautiful country you are, Scotland.

oh-glasgow

Shout out to @hattalove for providing a heart-warming story in the tags. But curse you for not making it easier to read and reblog!

thebibliosphere

I was home in Glasgow last week and by god did I miss this. We got stranded on a train line (because it’s fucking Scotrail so of course we did) and this guy just started talking to me about his ex wife and how he sent a letter to his daughter “from Santa” and asking if I thought she’d like it and just generally giving me his whole life story. And my American husband kept subtly trying to get my attention like “should we move, what is going on, are you okay, is this harassment, why are you so calm, should I do something” and I’m just like my fella chill, we’re hame, this is how we do.

saibrarutherford

This is why I moved back to Scotland. And why I encourage all my overseas friends to come visit. We love people in Glasgow. We are seriously and bizarrely friendly.

rockiesborn

This is true. Sitting on a bus bench with other tourists in May after touring the cathedral in Glasgow, and it’s pouring rain. An elderly woman walked past, stopped, turned around and leaned in to say, “Sorry about the rain. Lovely!

oh-glasgow

“Sorry about the rain. Lovely!” should be an unofficial slogan for Glasgow.

where-the-love-at

Omg literally every time I’m out with my granny literally everywhere she goes she finds someone she knows bc she’s stricken up so many convos its hilarious

oh-glasgow

I was out taking pictures one grey, March afternoon in the city centre, architecture, details on buildings blah blah. A Glasgow granny stops in front of me and says “are you no gonnae take ma picture?!”

Naturally, I obliged.

It’s one of my favourite pictures. Just look at that wee face and that smile.

sweartrek

cosmictuesdays

nytimes.com

How Do You Say ‘Email’ in Yiddish?

The first full-fledged English-to-Yiddish dictionary in 50 years is designed to carry Yiddish into the 21st century.

Joseph Berger

jewish-privilege

In a thousand-year-old language like Yiddish, with many of its words rooted in the ancient Bible, how would you say “email”? Or “transgender”? Or “designated driver”? Or “binge watch”?
Those terms came into popular usage long after the language’s heyday, when it was the lingua franca of the Jews of Eastern Europe and the garment workers of the Lower East Side and was the chosen literary tongue for writers like Sholem Aleichem and Isaac Bashevis Singer. Though the Holocaust and assimilation have shrunk the ranks of Yiddish speakers — once put at over 11 million worldwide — to a relative handful, Yiddish still needs to keep itself fashionably up-to-date.
So two of its conservationists have produced the first full-fledged English-to-Yiddish dictionary in 50 years and it is designed to carry Yiddish into the 21st century and just maybe beyond. After all, Yiddish has always had a canny way of defying the pessimists.
“Email”? How is “blitspost” — a combination of the Yiddish words for “lightning” and “mail”? “Transgender”? How’s “tsvishnminik,” which blends the common Yiddish words for “between” and “type.” “Designated driver”? “Der nikhterer shofer” does the trick by fusing the Yiddish word for “sober” with that for “driver.” And “binge watch” is “shlingen epizodn,” literally “wolf down episodes.”
… “In the long run if you keep borrowing English, you end up speaking English,” he said.

Read Joseph Berger’s full piece in The New York Times.

witchy-woman

!!!!

wweyoun asked:

Odo!

answered:

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life
hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | cutie tbh!! | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang
best quality: he’s really relatable personality-wise, i do love odo’s misantropic attitude, and i love what at least 80% of times we see odo doing his security business, reading stuff from his padd, he’s actually reading bad romance novels. this is what really happening
worst quality: aside from the whole kira/odo thing on which i’ll talk a bit more in the next question, and i’d really need to shut myself up here for a bit unless the rant will commence, i don’t like beige color. that’s it. i won’t say anything on moral side of things happening on the show but heck. beige is such a bad color ….
ship them with: (ok, the rant. this is a completely different matter of how much i despise trek writers’ need to engage non-human characters in romantic/sexual relationships in order to give them, let’s call it, ‘more compelling storylines’, because imo - unnecessary?? - aside from the fact what human concept of romantic love/emotional envolvment is so often percieved as a defining characteristic of what it means to be a person, i’m not saying it doesn’t seem plausible for me to see a person with different biological constitution and cultural realities feeling the desire to participate in romantic relationships like we, humans, or let’s say more on point, bajorans, do (which is .. essentially looks like the same thing but eh. typically human-centric view), but i wouldn’t feel a bit bad about not getting any romantic storyline at all. again, this is just my onion but ye. as far as my warped bad bad not good perception of canon goes, odo is a hardcore ace) but. if we’re talking fanon, or platonic relationships, of au scenarios or whatnot - i do love dynamics he has w/ quark OF COURSE, lwaxana and weyoun (which is to say - with fair ammount of one-sideness and akwardness, but that’s just how it goes)
brotp them with: kira!! also worf and garak!!
needs to stay away from: his wanky relatives from G-quadrant lmao
misc. thoughts: if i were to make the shapeshifters’ designs in the show i’d express the shifting effect in general & odo’s inability to do a decent human face in similar vein to the face lift vid (tw: kinda disturbing) and it’s a good thing i had and never will have any say in this. Anyways i’ve rambled quite a lot here, so to wrap it up *worf’s voice* Good legs. Nice office.