All of your best friends will be pregnant and giving birth at the exact same time as you. FUN!
Hospitals and birthing centers LOVE when you block the hallway to chat with your lady brigade. Can they get you anything?
Your appearance will be your top priority, but don’t worry, because YOU WILL LOOK AMAZING. Your face will be dewy. Your limbs, slender and not bloated. And your hair will be soft yet full of life, like the downy wings of an angel.
The baby will fly out of you on a dazzling, uncomplicated white unicorn. You will feel no pain. Afterward, the unicorn will fly you to the salon for a complimentary mani-pedi.
You will definitely not poop yourself in front of a room full of strangers.
Hey, this post may contain sexually explicit content, so we’ve hidden it from public view.
MOON, EARTH, MAN, AND FLAG – On December 11, 1972, during the first moonwalk of the Apollo 17 mission, astronauts Gene Cernan and Jack Schmitt take turns posing with the American flag as the distant Earth looms in the infinity above. Schmitt is in the photo at the top; Cernan is below.
Ah, the distant memories of when I would have leapt, sir, leapt to buy kits like this. Now I just collect the art; It doesn’t need constructed or painted, it doesn’t need dusted and it doesn’t break when it falls off the shelf.
The Swiss marking on the tail of the last one is because that plane and two others of its squadron was flown across the border after the Armistice to keep them out of Allied hands. Their pilots were interned for a while and the planes were requisitioned by the Swiss Air Force.
And here’s the pilot of that sinister black skull-and-crossbones plane, Officer Candidate Arnold Eger
with his far-from-sinister lucky teddy bear and a face that looks like he’s skiving off school. These fliers really were just kids…
Let’s talk about wizards and witches. There is a tendency to talk of them in one breath, as though they were simply different sexual labels for the same job. It isn’t true. In the fantasy world, there is no such thing as a male witch. […]
Sorceress? Just a better class of witch. Enchantress? Just a witch with good legs. The fantasy world, in fact, is overdue for a visit from the Equal Opportunities people because, in the fantasy world, magic done by women is usually of poor quality, third-rate, negative stuff, while the wizards are usually cerebral, clever, powerful and wise. […]
According to my eight-year-old daughter’s book on wizards, a nicely illustrated little paperback available at any good bookshop, ‘wizards undid the harm caused by evil witches’. There it is again, the recurrent message: female magic is cheap and nasty. […]
It’s going to be a long time before there’s room for equal rites.
Sir Terry Pratchett, “Why Gandalf Never Married”, A Slip of the Keyboard.
If you want to read the full essay, which is packed with more insight than posted above, you can find it here.
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