Nor the fashion to the unfashionable! Or something. The Bible didn’t actually have too much to say about fashion.

Tubbs, ya gotta learn to go with the heat

Jake is apparently on his way to a Miami Vice audition. He’s almost got the look down, but the blazer is just a bit too… fuzzy. You’re gonna die of heatstroke in Miami wearing a blazer made from a flannel blanket, dude.

Slacking off

A peek at the rest of the outfit. The slacks are nice, but they kinda belong on a reporter from the Daily Planet. The vest seems to have been made out of a zig-zag afghan. WTF, Jake, did someone tell you space was cold and you took it literally? Don’t the runabouts have climate control?

The quicker picker-upper

The medical garb at this station seems to be made of dish towels. Because when you’re working with bleeding people and you need a sterile environment, the one quality you really look for is absorbency.

They’re a pretty nice cut for scrubs, though. There’s that crossover flap collar (who even needs that in a medic station? It’s just gonna get in the way!), a stylish nipped-in waist, and slacks that are actually creased. There are no fashionistas in foxholes, y'all.

Today’s theme: thermal

I just had to get a close-up of that fabric. That’s either surplus tea towels or surplus long johns. Either way, this episode is trying to give Jake a rash.

Stars and Stripe

Now this interests me, because we see some wounded people in the black-with-colored-yoke Starfleet uniform that we’re used to, but we also see other wounded in this ensemble with the single stripe across the chest and sleeves. (No comm badge, but maybe they don’t wear those in battle.) Is this, like, Starfleet’s equivalent of the Marines or the Navy SEALS or something? Probably not the latter if this guy is any indication.

I’ll see you on the other side of the war

These uniforms are also a different fabric, sort of a crinkled crepe from what I can tell of the bits that aren’t ripped, with the stripe in a smoother ribbon of, I dunno, hopefully something durable. Weird choice for a battle uniform; not terribly breathable and I’m pretty sure it’s synthetic. Then again they probably have flame-retardant fabric tech solved in the future. I hope.

Excuse me, it’s called a kigurumi

Bashir has been injured, so he’s now in one of the baby blue fleece onesies that they put patients in for some reason. Because if you’re going to be a big helpless baby, we might as well dress you like one!

That’s all for this one. Battle on, soldiers of style!