Okay so I know that a criticism of Forbeck’s writing in Halo: New Blood is that he uses way too many similes, and we end up with gems like these:

That stopped me like a pair of underwear made of ice.

Much as I hate to admit it, ONI’s plan worked like a bullet through butter.

I followed straight after her like a dog on a proximity leash.

But like,,, what if Buck actually just talks like that. all the time

 And he just says weird old man things that Osiris has to constantly decipher because they only make small amounts of sense

“This tastes like shrimp fresh off the pavement” “man I sure feel like a squirrel in a furnace right now” “that missions was as hard as mountain lava”

“Locke I don’t know what he’s saying”

“No one does”