“All right, people, you know the drill,” said Darktan. “I want to see lots of cheeky stuff. Stealing the food out of cats’ bowls, pies from under the cooks’ noses–”
“–false teeth from out of old men’s mouths–” said a small rat, who seemed to be dancing on the spot while he stood there. His feet moved all the time, tippity-tapping on the cellar floor. He wore a hat, too, a battered, homemade thing out of straw. He was the only rat who could make a hat work, by wedging his ears through it. He said to get ahead, you had to get a hat.
“That was a fluke, Sardines. I bet you can’t do it again,” said Darktan. “And don’t keep on telling the kids how you went for a swim in someone’s bathtub. Yea, I know you did, but I don’t want to lose anyone who can’t scramble out of a slippery tub. Anyway… if I don’t hear ladies screaming and running out of their kitchens within ten minutes, I’ll know you’re not the rats I think you all are.”

– on Darktan and Sardines | Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents