Julian fought to wake up, felt the thin winter sunlight in his face. Sunlight? Fuck. What time was it? Shit shit shit he missed the exam. Dammit why couldn’t Richard have engineered some better executive function while he was at it? All the genius in the world didn’t do much when you struggled with time and social norms. If anything it made it worse; everyone just assumed you were an arrogant prat, because struggle didn’t fit with brilliant. He pulled the pillow over his head, defeated, then felt a hand shaking his shoulder.
“Julian? Wake up, dear.”
He opened one eye. Dark. Space. Partner. Garak. Deep Space Nine. He exhaled deeply. 35. Chief medical officer. Everyone knows, nothing hidden. He closed his eyes again with a moan.
“More dreams?”
“Mm-hmm.”
Garak handed him a hot mug of sweet tea and he sipped it.
“Thank you. This helps.”
“Where were you?”
“The Academy.”
“Ah. Showing up to class naked?”
Julian laughed.
“Close. Missing an exam.”
He drank more tea, smiled.
“Absurd, isn’t it? I’m not dreaming of battlefield horrors, I’m dreaming of my youthful fears.”
Garak sat silently, waiting for him to go on.
“It’s just I…I used to feel quite helpless. Silly, really. I was in the safest place imaginable, treated well and groomed for leadership. But I always felt…afraid.”
He put the mug down on the nightstand and closed his eyes.
“It’s back, Elim. I feel small. It’s all too much.”
bee-squared-official
