This is a long post. Press “J” to skip. 

I want to remind you guys that Tumblr is not a good place for your Bad Takes. It is not a safe place for you to work through stuff. It is not a Friendly and Loving platform where you will be comforted and forgiven. It is not a good place to be Wrong (and the definition of Wrong can shift, frequently and suddenly.) It is not a gentle place to share and heal.

Now, I realize that this is going to sound weird coming from someone whose blog is just a long, scrolling collection of Bad Takes and Being Wrong. So please try to think of this as a lovely opportunity for you to be better than me, which is all I want for you, really. It may also sound really obvious, but I think it’s worth saying. 

Don’t carve out your heart and serve it on a platter for free.

If you create something that you might be able to sell, like a piece of flash fiction or a memoir, then consider if you can sell it before posting it here.

Don’t share certain stuff, unless you don’t mind people who hate that stuff taking it “the wrong way”, and you are in a good place to bear the consequences.

When possible (and it is not possible) try not to share stuff that can be taken The Wrong Way.

Don’t use Tumblr as a place to cry out for help and/or find support and/or make personal confessions (unless they’re meant to be humorously relatable, and you’re happy with them being on Buzzfeed, or conversely on a subreddit designed for making fun of that kind of thing). 

Try not to share stuff you create when you’re Low, or Sad, or Down, or in Pain. I know that this seems incredibly unfair if you feel like you are these things all the time, and you really want to reach out for help, and Tumblr feels like a friend. Instead, if/when you feel these things, write them up and save them as a draft. Do not make them public until they’re ripened, hopefully heavily edited, and ready for consumption by strangers who may be unkind. As someone who is frequently Tense, I often regret it when I don’t do this, even as just a one-line joke in a post addition. 

Trust me. The penalties for publicizing a Bad Take - making a mistake, or hitting the wrong tone, or using the wrong tag - will make you feel a lot worse, at a time when you’re already down, and the punishment will hit you hard. 

Tumblr is a public platform designed to make things rapidly escalate beyond the content owner’s control. Sometimes this is joyful and hilarious. Sometimes it can make things very tough for the owner, especially if it’s never happened to them before. 

Your immediate Tumblr circle is probably full of people you like and trust - like a warm room where you feel comfortable and safe. This can make it hard to remember that outside of that circle is a vast conference center full of people who probably dislike you, or even hate you passionately. They will genuinely enjoy bursting into your warm room with a camera livestreaming to all their friends, screaming with laughter at everything you like, or loudly cringing at all the things you didn’t realize were so bad.

You may have done this yourself, and you may be surprised at how quickly the Discourse turns on you - how you go from observer/commenter to the object of comment. Sometimes people don’t handle this well. The first time this happens, it can be really confusing and hurtful. 

And you will have to apologize. I’m really bad at this, but you can look at all the ways in which I’m bad at it, and try to do better. My failure is educational because I rarely do it the same way twice! I like to think that I invent new and innovative ways to fail. THIS OFFERS SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES FOR YOU GUYS TO LEARN!

In short, Tumblr and the general Web 2.0 is a good place to grow up, in that it will force you, very rapidly, to become very grownup; it will demand that you can discourse at a postgraduate level when you’re not really ready to leave the kiddie pool. But it is a bad place to have your personal growth made public. Social media will generally neither guide nor forgive you, but it will punish you for getting it wrong. This is a really tough way to learn. In real-life relationships or education, it’s considered a bit abusive and it encourages dysfunction. But as everyone will tell you: it is not their place to educate you. The solution? You’ll have to decide for yourself.

Anyway, I’ve decided what I want my Tumblr experience to be. This is still the perfect platform for me to stay in touch with a diverse collection of friends, and to find content relating to my ridiculous and bizarre niche interests, such as colorful things laid out on white backgrounds, weird color morphs in animals, ecological-witchcraft-even-though-I’m-officially-agnostic-I-just-REALLY-resonate-with-it-somehow, random rambling real-life text post updates from people I care about deeply, and accessibly-written articles on Net Neutrality. There aren’t any other places I can do that, all while keeping in touch with people in DMs. 

I realize that my blog is a hot mess and a trainwreck, and I’ve made my peace with it. It’s doing what I want it to do - keeping the things I want together, keeping entropy at bay. Under this banner, I will do my best to support that mission, especially since I’ve acquired a bunch of friends who seem Very Young and I feel pressured to become better because of it. Now I am trying to allow room for personal growth, for people to make public mistakes, for changing-minds and going-through-phases. I am trying to scroll past when I see People Being Wrong, and not immediately bash them with the Swan-Wing of Correction. I am trying to make this specific Tumblr, under this specific banner, as nontoxic as I can, for what it is.

This mission statement is not universal. And I am still developing it and trying to make it better. As you can tell, it’s a work in progress. Your own will certainly be better. But if I can, I’d like to spare you guys some growing pains. I will try to honour your grumpy phases and bad takes. I won’t always do it well. But I must warn you not to expect this of anyone else, and certainly not the public.

And if (or when) the hammer of judgment falls on you, and if (or when) we disagree, you are still a person of inherent value and potential to me.