Niles and Roz being Cardassians

[guljerry]

Roz: [pointedly at Niles] No, I think I’ll just go sit over here. 

 Niles: Roz?  Are you trying to avoid me?    

Roz: Well, can you blame me?  I mean, it took you nearly a year just to learn my name and every time we sit together, you have some kind of snide remark to make.  

Niles: Name one.    

Roz: Well, last week you told me my bedroom was easier to get into than a community college.  

Niles: I was hoping that would be the one you’d name.    

Roz: [charging at him] You know, I’ve got half a mind to… 

Frasier: No, no, no!  Just hold on now, Roz.  You and Niles got off on the wrong foot a long time ago.  I think if you two sat down and had a real conversation you’d hit it off famously.  Here, you sit, Roz, and I will go and get your coffee.

Roz sits down as Frasier goes to the counter.  

Niles: [pause] So, how are you?    

Roz: Fine.  You?  

Niles: Great. [pause] I’m handy now. [Roz stares at him] So…that’s a nice jacket.     

Roz: Thank you. 

Niles: Offbeat.    

Roz: And what is that supposed to mean, “offbeat”?  

Niles: Well…    

Roz: No, wait, I think I know exactly what it means.  Offbeat as in cheap. Well, excuse me for not being rich enough to shop at the International House of Tight-Ass like you and Maris the heiress! That is what you meant, right?  

Niles: Yes… but I had no idea you’d pick up on it!    

Roz: Then you were insulting me.  

Niles: Yes, but you got in a couple of good shots yourself.    

Roz: I did, didn’t I?  I’m so glad we did this! 

They shake hands as Frasier returns.