[languagenerds]

In my four or so years on tumblr, I’ve seen a remarkable amount of unproductive argument and countless of examples of immature responses to perceived disagreement. I genuinely do not think this is a problem of individual people, but rather stems from a culture on tumblr of seeing argument and disagreement as negative. I think our community would be much more pleasant and productive if we could learn how to discuss things openly and respectfully, so I’m going to share some of my ideas about how to do so, although I certainly still have a lot to learn myself.

• Be very clear about what your stance is. By using generalizations, you are leaving room for other people to misunderstand what you are saying. Be as specific as possible in your argument/point of view.
• Be open to changing your mind. An argument that is resistant to facts is usually not a good argument, because it is based on non-factual opinions and prejudices. There is a Chinese proverb that says “only the very wise and the very stupid never change their minds”. 
• Don’t take disagreement or criticism as an attack. This is a hard one to do, but nothing derails a discussion like being overly defensive. This being said, don’t attack others either. It will only make them less likely to listen to anything you have to say. So steer clear of ‘you’ statements, as cheesy as it sounds. 
• No name-calling. It’s easy to want to hurt someone back when they criticize you, but name-calling is incredibly immature and precludes any productive discussion from happening. 
• It’s ok to ask questions to clarify what the other person is saying. 
• If someone else is having an argument/discussion and you have nothing to add to it, just stay out of it. Commenting on it from the sidelines is unhelpful and honestly the type of thing that should have been left behind in middle school.
• An ideal conversation does not necessarily end in all the parties agreeing, but in all the participants gaining new ideas and perspective and maybe refining their argument or gaining a more nuanced opinion. 
• Discussion, argument, and ‘discourse’ does not have to be a bad thing!