PRESENTING

vin diesel and dwayne johnson as aziraphale and crowley

arnold schwarzenegger and sylvester stalone as hastur and ligur

michelle rodriguez as anathema

chris pratt as newt

archie from riverdale as adam

chuck norris as shadwell

and finally

jennifer lawrence as war

it’s set in america. the bentley is a monster truck and all of the them have been aged up to 17. there isn’t a single actress over 35. aziraphale and crowley both have guns and the movie has numerous action sequences that don’t further the plot at all.